


Don't Let Them Steal Your Light

by writeforthefandom



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Bad Parenting, Dancing, Doubt, Drinking, Fear, Feelings, Homophobia, Jealousy, Kidnapping, Love, Mental Breakdown, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Panties, Sad, Sexual Assault, Strippers & Strip Clubs, Touching, Trauma, Traumatic Experiences, Underage Drinking, Underage Sex, hurting, touching without permission
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-25
Updated: 2019-12-14
Packaged: 2020-09-26 07:35:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 16
Words: 49,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20386045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writeforthefandom/pseuds/writeforthefandom
Summary: Alec is an underage stripper in a small but very popular joint. Magnus is his boss, and took him in when the boy had been dropped off at his place. Together with Jace, Isabelle and Clary, he forms a team of strippers that are well sought after. Magnus denies he has feelings for Alec. Clary and Jace are a thing. And Isabelle quite likes the nerdy guy that visits the place every week. She believes his name is Simon, and she ought to call him some time.By popular demand! Read the tags!!





	1. Chapter 1

The club was packed tonight. More so than usual. Bodies swaying and pressing together on the dance foor. An audience pushing at the stage, each trying to get to the front, waving their dollar bills at four dancers who swung themselves expertly around a steel pole. The club smelled of sweat and the bitter stench of alcohol being poured. A giant screen lit and flashed random circling images in vibrant colour, a door hidden on either side of the screen, behind big black curtains.  
The bartenders were busy pouring glass after glass for drunken customers. There was still a line outside, though no one was getting in, not even if one left. The club was too busy as it was already, the owner had ordered the guards to not let anyone in for now.  
On the stage, four stainless steel poles glimmered with the flashing light above them. They reached all the way to the high ceiling above. Tonight was a special night for many reasons. Not that the visitors knew. All they cared about was getting their money tucked into the waistband of fabrics of underwear, and perhaps a quick touch here or there.  
Music reverberated through the club. Huge speakers hung from the ceiling throughout the entire space. The bass thrummed through swaying bodies. This club was the most popular in the area, a well sought after space by both mundanes and Downworlders. It wasn't easy or cheap getting in, but well worth the effort. For the music, its guests and its performers were quite stunning indeed.  
Four young bodies flung themselves expertly along the cool poles. A young girl with black hair and a slender figure. She wasn't tall, but gorgeous. And many a women and men liked to get their hands on such a rare beauty. She knew how to use her body to her advantage, and was very comfortable doing so. Tonight, Isabelle wore red lace panties and bra, a favourite of a loyal club goer, who was watching her very closely.  
To her left, another girl. She was a little taller, with blazing red hair like a sunset. She too knew how to use her body to sway the public and get the dollar bills flying, grinning mischivous and seductive as she did. But her eyes wandered over to the boy to her left most often, with love and admiration and lust. She herself wore dark underwear. Clary liked darker colours mostly.  
The boy to her left had fair hair, broad shoulders and quite some muscles. He was handsome, the definition of it. He was a very good seductor, women and men swooning for him every time he bent low, as if reaching for them, before raising himself back up teasingly. His eyes roamed to Clary, giving her a wink and a grin when their eyes met. Jace had a six pack too, a welcome sight. He wore black glittering boxers, tight against his skin.  
The three of them had started working at the club a little over a year ago, when they'd saw an ad in the local paper calling for dancers. They hadn't had this in mind, but the pay was well worth it. Besides, the club was on the first floor of a very expensive apartment building, and they had each been given a separate apartment to stay in by the owner. They were all adults, Isabelle being 19 years, Jace 20, and Clary 19 as well. And they had been very grateful for this well-paying job.  
Finally, last but most definitely not least was an underage dancer. But in the owner's eyes, he was the most gorgeous of them all. Magnus had had a weakness for black hair and blue eyes for as long as he could remember. And being well over 400 years old, he remembered quite a lot. But never had he laid eyes on someone as exquisite as Alec had been. The warlock hadn't been able to resist his lustful fantasies, though he had never actually acted on it. It was improper to act on his fantasies with someone as young as Alec. He had told himself the bare minimum for messing with anyone was 18. Everyone below that age was out of his reach.  
Magnus himself had black hair with streaks of blue in them. He was tall, old by human standards, and yet he looked to be in his early 20s. The joys of being a warlock. Immortal and powerful and obviously gorgeous. He had had many lovers but since his eyes had fallen on Alec, well, no one had seemed to compare. The boy was swaying expertly around the pole, gold glittering panties catching and casting off light. The warlock licked his lips, seated at the far end of the bar, with the best sight on the dark haired boy. He signalled for a bartender to pour him another drink.

_You all over my skin, I'm anxious_  
Paint my body boy, I'll be your canvas  
Don't talk to me, just show me your talent  
Your talent, oh 

He chuckled at the lyrics as he gulped down another drunk. He stared openly at his best investment. An underage stripper was not a smart move. If police would come raid the place right now Magnus would be caught and locked up. Not that that would happen, he would flee the moment he even had a suspicion that police would come after him. But Magnus did quite agree with the lyrics, because he wouldn't mind having Alec paint his body. But he told himself Alec was his friend, and nothing more. He would supress all his feelings he had of the boy, anything that indicated more than a friendship. He had to.

_One look and your're mine_  
Keep your eyes on me now  
'Cause when the stars align  
You might bring the beast out 

Alec expertly flung himself around the pole. Luckily it was cool to the touch, helping cool down his clammy palms. The club was hot, with so many people in them. And he was giving it his all at the moment, even going as far to cast seductive glances at the people below him. Not his expertise, he must say. Having just turned seventeen today, he didn't know a whole lot about being seductive, even if his boss had assured him that he definitely was. Alec didn't see it. But he needed the money and needed the place to stay. Even if Magnus had told him he was always welcome.  
Magnus had taken him in when he was twelve. Alec remembered it well. It had been raining all day that day, on his twelfth birthday. His parents had been anxious that morning, as Alec had come down. There had been no congratulations or presents. Just an uncomfortable silence. That evening, Alec had been forced to pack a canvas drawstring bag. He had gotten into the car with his parents and driven through New York with them. He didn't know where they were going, but he had had a sinking feeling in his gut.  
His parents had stopped the car in front of an abandoned looking apartment building. “Mom?” he had asked.  
“It's okay,” his father had said. “You’re going to be okay.”  
His mother had taken him out of the car, into the pouring rain. Wearing nothing but jeans and a tshirt, he had gotten soaked to the bone and had started shivering.  
“Mom?” he asked again.  
“Goodbye love,” his mother said, pressing a kiss to his wet forehead. Rain drops dripped down from his hair into his eyelashes. His mother had gotten back into the car, and they had sped off, leaving the young boy out in the rain.  
But Alec had refused to cry. Instead, he'd just stared after the car, until he heard someone behind him clear his throat. Alec whirled on the man. He was tall, in a dark grey business suit. He wasn't holding an umbrella, and yet he was dry, rain drops gliding off onto something invisible above the man's head. There had been something strange about that man.  
“How are you doing that?” Alec asked.  
The man grinned. “There are many things a young mind as yours does not know. Why are you out in the street alone?”  
Alec looked down. “My parents dropped me off here. They'll be back,” he said, trying to sound determined.  
“Will they now?” The man raised a questioning eyebrow. “In any case, a young boy like you shouldn't be out in the streets, alone. Especially not with such weather. You'll catch yourself a cold.”  
Alec shrugged. “I’m just going to wait here for my parents.”  
The man sighed, and stepped closer. Blue eyes looked up at him then. They didn't hold fear, at all. Just determination. A strong, young mind, Alec had been at that age. Smart, as well. Alec had known his parents weren't coming back for him. He just hated having to face that fact at all.  
“Come,” the man gestured toward himself. “Lets get you inside and somewhere warm. You're shivering.”  
Alec had followed along, staying close to Magnus to avoid getting any wetter. “What’s your name?”  
The man chuckled. “My name is Magnus Bane. What is yours?”  
“Alexander,” Alec said. “But everyone calls me Alec.”  
“No last name?” Magnus asked.  
“Not anymore.”  
Alec blinked, pulling himself out of his memories. He knew he had been performing well, but he could see Magnus's eyes on him now. A shiver racked his body and he focused back on dancing, swaying, giving the audience what they wanted. He had a habit of getting lost in memories and thoughts at times. And it seemed that every time that happened, Magnus would focus on him, as if knowing what was going on inside his head.  
He knew now that Magnus was a warlock. That others, vampires, werewolves, faeries, existed. Magnus had told him a few days after Alec had gone living with him. And it had seemed so normal then, as it was now. He knew Downworlders were among the audience, as well as mundanes. Mundanes who didn't know, because all Downworlders glamoured themselves to look normal if they had to. Better that humanity didn't know, for humanity had a terrible blood lust.

_'Cause when the stars align_  
You might bring the beast out  
One look in your mind  
Keep your eyes on me  
Nowhere to run boy run, come here right now  
Right now, right now 

The song drew to an end, and so did the club night. The moment the song stopped and the lights above the podium turned off, the guests were ushered out quickly and the doors shut. The lights turned on once more, the podium now empty as the four dancers had retreated to the dressing room. Magnus snapped his fingers and let the staff get to work cleaning up the mess as he disappeared behind the scenes.

Alec drew a towel from the pile that was waiting for them and buried his face in the soft material. He flopped himself down into one of the big lounge chairs in the dressing roam and took a minute to calm down his beating heart. Another performance well done, he was tired.  
The dressing toom was quite big. If you stood in the doorway, your eyes would land on the couch first. A four seater, of soft material. On the right side and left side were big lounge chairs, all black. Above the couch hung a huge painting of mountains and forests. On the left were racks with clothing. Close to the door on the right a table with towels. There were several screens across the room for performers to change behind.  
“Tired already?” Jace asked, settling himself onto the couch. Clary joined him, expertly plopping herself in his lap.  
“He is the youngest,” she noted.  
“Very true. You turned seventeen today, didn't you?” Jace questioned Alec.  
Alec shrugged. “I did,” he said, not sounding the least bit interested.  
“Quit bugging the boy,” Isabelle said as she came in. She pulled a screen to cover herself and got herself a bit more decently dressed. Black jeans and tight tank top. She appeared from behind the screen and combed her fingers through her long black hair. “You know he's shy and insecure. No reason to pester him.”  
Jace pouted, but grinned. He and Clary got up and got themselves a bit more casually dressed, stealing kisses in between.  
Alec looked at Isabelle for a brief moment. He got up, dropping the towel. He hesitated, teeth sinking into his bottom lip. He hated getting changed in front of other people. He refused most of the time.  
“Alright alright,” Isabelle said, dragging Jace and Clary by the arms. “Let him change in peace before you destroy even more of his self worth.” The door shut.  
Alec sighed, combing fingers through his thick black hair. He shimmied himself out of his performance clothes and kicked it aside. He wiped himself down with the towel, and wished he could go take a shower first. He hated smelling of sweat.  
He sighed, pulled on his underwear and black ripped skinny jeans. He pulled on his sneakers then, and a black tshirt after. He smoothed down his hair a bit and tried a smile. He knew what was next, a drinking party.  
Alec opened the door to the hallway and found Isabelle, Jace and Clary waiting. Isabelle smiled as Alec appeared, grabbed him by the wrist and dragged him along. This happened every year. Every birthday was generally the same. They would drink in Magnus's office. Jace and Clary would wander off after a while. Isabelle would hang around and then go as well. And eventually it would just be him and Magnus.  
The door to Magnus's office was already open and the four of them stepped in. The office wasn't too big. It fit a big mahogany desk, now covered in bottles of various alcoholic beverages. There was a window to the right, overlooking an alley. The walls were a cream colour, the floor hardwood. There was nothing of personal belonging in the office. No photos or paintings or anything. Just four bare walls and a desk. And Magnus, handsomly dressed as always.  
Magnus had changed out of his dark blue business suit. He wore a loose cotton pants the colour of a darkening night sky. A deep purple satin blouse, the buttons at the top undone to show some skin. He wore seven rings on his fingers. Four on his left, three on his right. No makeup this time, besides some eyeliner. Alec often wondered how he did it, look so perfect all the time.  
“Ah, there you are!” Magnus got up from his chair. He already had had a drink or two. “Happy birthday Alexander!”  
Alec could not avoid the hug, so he let him. Magnus pulled back as the rest helped themselves to plastic cups and poured themselves whatever beverage they preferred. Magnus chose for Alec, pouring him a lighter beverage and handing the red cup to Alec.  
The boy nodded and took a sip. He made a face, as he always did with the first few. He wondered if he ever could get used to the taste that alcohol had. He didn't particularly like it that much. But he wanted to enjoy his evening.  
“Cheers to the birthday boy!” Jace said, raising his cup. “May you finally lose your virginity this year!”  
Alec rolled his eyes. As if he needed to be reminded of the fact that he was a virgin in a strip club. Isabelle hit Jace over the head gently, causing the other to stumble slightly.  
“Leave the boy alone. Not everyone wants sex, especially not as young as you,” Isabelle said. She smiled at Alec. “Happy birthday!”  
“Happy birthday!” Clary chimed in, before throwing back her drink in one go.  
Alec followed her example and gulped down his drink. He felt the alcohol burn and then settle into his bones, already brightening up his mood.  
Magnus poured him another drink and Alec was forever grateful. Music started playing at the snap of Magnus's fingers. All of them knew what Magnus was, knew about the Downworld.  
The warlock grinned as Alec threw back drink after drink. The boy was wearing one of his favourite outfits. Ripped skinny jeans and a black tshirt was a look very befitting of Alec. He quite adored the boy, admired him.  
“Your performance was excellent, as always,” Magnus noted, looking at Alec.  
Alec blushed and smiled at him. “Thanks,” he said.  
“I mean it, Alexander. I'm pretty sure you know that the guests of my club quite favour you.” Magnus looked at the boy, who seemed to turn a beet red.  
“I know,” Alec said. He threw back another drink. The alcohol was taking its effect, making his world a little blurry, a little spinning. He leaned against the desk to keep himself upright.  
Magnus chuckled. Alec wasn't a particularly good drinker. He couldn't hold his liquor, which was quite an amusing sight as the boy swayed and tried to stay steady on his feet.  
“We’re leaving!” Jace announced, taking Clary with him.  
Alec blinked and watched them go. He knew exactly what they were going to do. When the two of them had just started working here, Alec had accidently walked in on them. And they'd been too busy to notice. Alec had stared a good few minutes in both horror and amazement. He'd never had seen anyone having sex before. Luckily, Isabelle had been there as well and had swiftly shut the door and dragged an embarrassed boy away from them. Jace had later found out and had laughed. And that's when they got to know that Alec, the most popular stripper, was an actual virgin.  
Hilarious in quite a few ways it seemed.  
“Me too,” Isabelle said, putting her drink down. She gave a quick hug to Magnus and Alec before leaving, closing the door behind her.  
The two were alone.  
Alec handed his cup to Magnus. “Please, another one.”  
“Well well,” Magnus said, pouring Alec another drink. He smiled at the boy, and Alec smiled back.  
Alec started swaying to the music as he tried not to fall down. Magnus laughed at that, and wrapped a gentle arm around the boy's waist. They swayed together, slow and steady thanks to Magnus's lead.  
“Why don't you have any personal belongings here?” Alec slurred, leaning into Magnus.  
“They’re in my apartment. No need for them here,” Magnus explained. He looked at Alec. The boy was as tall than he was at the moment. He would grow a bit more taller likely the next few years.  
Alec huffed. “Oh no,” he mumbled as his world started spinning faster. “I don't feel well.”  
“Perhaps you should sit down,” Magnus said, guiding Alec over to his chair.  
Alec sunk down into the chair and closed his eyes. He was asleep within a minute, soft little snores coming from the boy.  
Magnus smiled. He watched the light flutter of eyelashes against Alec's cheek. Heard the soft snores. Watched the rise and fall of his chest. Alec seemed quite comfortable in this chair, though Magnus knew he'd be sore and stiff tomorrow. It seemed like there was no other option but to carry the boy back to his apartment.  
He sighed in a fond manner and gently picked up Alec. He walked back to the stage, told the guards to close up everything, and left the club through the back door that lead to an alley. Magnus snapped his fingers and a portal appeared. The joys of being a powerful warlock.  
Magnus stepped through it. He appeared into his apartment, the portal closing behind him. He brought Alec to the nearest couch and gently laid him down. He retrieved a blanket and covered the boy, who was still fast asleep. He seemed to be quite a deep sleeper.  
With a sigh, he shut off all lights and went to his own bedroom. He shut the door. With a snap of his fingers he undressed and his makeup was removed. The warlock crawled into bed, under the covers. He was quite tired as well. Running a nightclub wasn't always an easy job. With a yawn, Magnus closed his eyes and drifted off easily into sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm planning to update once a week, so every Sunday. Enjoy, and let me know what you think!

Alec grabbed his canvas drawstring bag from beside him as his mother opened the car door. He got out, the rain pouring down and soaking through his clothes immediately. He followed his mother, looking up at the abandoned apartment building. It was dark, the only light coming from one streetlight close to the tall building. He wondered what they were doing here, and why he had to pack a bag. This didn’t seem like a safe building for them to be, especially at such a late time.  
“Mommy?” he mumbled.  
His mother turned to him and planted a gentle kiss on his thick black hair. She seemed upset, Alec wondered why.  
“I’m so sorry,” she said. “You’ll be okay.” She turned and headed back to the car.  
Alec followed her slowly, but his mother got into the car and the car sped off into the distance, away from him. He clutched the canvas bag to his chest and stood there, staring with wide eyes. Rain dripped from his hair onto his face. He shivered. The nights had been getting colder, as well as the days.  
Someone cleared his throat behind him. Alec turned around and came face to face with a tall man. Although the rain was beating down, the man continued to stay dry by some invisible force field above him. He frowned, wondering how the man did that.  
“How are you doing that?” he asked.  
“This?” the man gestured towards the empty space above him where rain drops were landing on and then dripping down the sides. He shrugged. “It’s quite easy, though you won’t be able to do that.”  
Alec blinked, staring with intend at the stranger. He didn’t understand what the man meant. If the stranger could do it, then why couldn’t he? Surely it was just a trick of sorts, like seen with magicians on tv, or on the streets.  
“There are many things a young mundane as yours doesn’t know,” the stranger explained, and smiled. Suddenly his eyes flashed green and into the shape of a cat’s.  
Alec tilted his head to the side, but wisely took a step back. He knew he shouldn’t be talking to this stranger, but he didn’t understand why his parents had left him here. Surely they were going to come back for him.  
He shrugged and turned away from Magnus. “I’m just waiting for my parents.”  
“In the car that drove off?” Magnus asked. “They’re not coming back.”  
Alec whirled on the stranger and looked at him, angry. He clenched his fists. “They will!”  
Magnus shook his head. “They won’t,” he said. “No parent leaves their kid out in the rain with a bag, especially not in this neighbourhood. Unless they want said kid dead.”  
“No,” Alec mumbled, looking down. He frowned, trying to keep his tears at bay. Surely this couldn’t be true. His parents would never abandon him, especially not to die. They would come back, they had to. He didn’t believe this guy, this stranger. He’d been taught better than that. His parents had to come back for him, he had to believe in that.  
“They’ll come back,” Alec said.  
Magnus felt sorry for the kid, and oddly torn. The kid had black hair and blue eyes, and he felt weak at that knowledge. He should call the police and hand over the kid to authorities. But Magnus knew the adoption system was absolute shit, and Alec would likely become a troubled kid, do drugs and maybe even go to jail at some point. Somehow, Magnus couldn’t let that happen.  
“I’m sor-“  
“No!” Alec screamed at him, and fell to his knees. “No! You’re wrong, they must come back!”  
\-----   
Alec gasped, sitting up in a hurry as his eyes flew open. Golden light poured in from the window and he looked around, taking in the place he was at. He was on a couch, a coffee table in front of him, and Magnus hovering above him. The warlock had retreated the hand that had been shaking him awake.  
Magnus had a deep frown on his face, clearly worried for Alec. He took a step back and observed the boy. Alec looked tired, and pale. Which was understandable considering the amount of alcohol the boy had thrown back last night. And he knew the boy was overworking himself. Why, Magnus did not know.  
Alec pressed a hand to his head and closed his eyes once he had calmed himself down a little. His stomach rumbled; he wasn’t feeling particularly well. He groaned. His head was throbbing. Classic hangover.   
“Was I dreaming?” he asked.  
“Yeah.” Magnus sat down in the lounge chair. “You were screaming.”  
Alec sighed and peeled his eyes open, looking at Magnus. He must have been dreaming about that faithful night five years ago, where he was left to his own devices on the street. The memory haunted him every time it popped up. He had tried really hard to just forget it, but it would always come back to him.  
He looked at the man across from him. Magnus was shirtless, with soft pale pants sitting low on his hips. He had muscles for sure, the warlock was a handsome man. Alec gritted his teeth and tore his gaze away from the older man. He couldn’t think of Magnus that way. The warlock may have raised him, but he was his boss now. Alec couldn’t lose his job, he didn’t know where else to go.   
“I’m sorry,” he apologised.  
“There’s nothing to apologise for,” Magnus said, crossing his legs and leaning back in his chair.  
Alec frowned. The coffee table was a heaven wooden figure in the middle of the living room. Beyond the table were two dark red leather lounge chairs. Alec himself was seated on the dark red leather couch. There was a balcony beyond it as well. The walls were golden, partly paper and partly sunlight streaming in. The window reached from floor to ceiling, and stretched a significant part of the apartment wall. It looked over New York City as it awakened and started its day. Though the city was never truly asleep.  
“You want some coffee and breakfast?” Magnus asked.  
“Coffee sounds good,” Alec said.  
With a snap of Magnus’s fingers, two coffee cups from the local coffee shop appeared on the table, as well as hash browns and bagels and some croissants. All freshly prepared and ripped from the hands of an unknowing customer.  
Alec chuckled and reached for his coffee. He took a sip and felt his mind clear of the dizziness and the sickness. He really shouldn’t have drunk as much as he had last night. He needed to quit drinking alcohol. It wasn’t doing him any good.  
Magus took a bagel and stuffed it into his mouth. It was followed by a large gulp of coffee. He smiled into the cup.  
They enjoyed the silence while it lasted. They didn’t need to talk to know what they were both thinking. Soon the day would start. They would part until tonight, when the club opened and Alec would be back on the stage.  
He wasn’t too fond of being on the stage, dancing. He knew he needed to, he needed to earn money to keep himself alive. Magnus had offered him many times to pay for the things he needed, but he couldn’t always be dependent on the warlock. He was certain Magnus was just being nice because his parents had abandoned him. He didn’t really understand why Magnus seemed to want to keep him around, but he didn’t bother asking either. He was content with staying here and earning the warlock money.  
The boy sighed and closed his eyes. The days were all blending together. He sometimes lost track of days because they were pretty much the same. He would get up, skip breakfast, go to the gym. Then he’d be there for a few hours, working out. Alec was conscious of his body, not necessarily very insecure, but definitely shy. Quite interesting considering he was a stripper. After the gym, he’d get home, get showered, pack a bag and go to the club. And then somewhere during the night he’d end up in bed. And in the morning the routine would start all over again.  
Alec was in the gym every day. Twice a week, Isabelle, Jace and Clary would join him. But he would always work out that much harder than those three. He didn’t need to work out every day. Magnus always reassured him he was gorgeous as is. But Alec generally didn’t feel that way. He saw a lot of things in himself that he disliked, a little too much fat here, a scar there.  
Perhaps it was because his parents had abandoned him. He often wondered what he’d done wrong to deserve that in his young life. He often asked Magnus why, but the warlock never answered. Obviously, Magnus knew something, but wasn’t ready to open up about it. It was unfair to Alec, because he wanted, no, needed to know. But if Magnus didn’t tell him, he couldn’t do anything about it. He often wondered if he should look up his parents and see if they were okay. But Magnus had assured him many times that they weren’t in New York. That Alec wouldn’t be able to find them.  
It frustrated him to no end, yet there was nothing to do about it. He let out a deep sigh, and took another sip of his coffee.  
Perhaps it was best to let the past be the past. But he felt like he couldn’t let it go at all. Not until he knew the real reason why he had been abandoned. But once more it depended on Magnus to tell him why. Because Alec was pretty certain his parents wouldn’t have just dropped him off at the apartment building if no one had been there. So they must have known that Magnus had been there, they must have known the warlock.  
Another sigh. Alec finished his coffee and put the cup down. He rolled his shoulders. His sickness had pretty much vanished now, and he was glad about that. He didn’t feel like being sick all day.   
“I should go,” he said, getting up.   
“Why? You know you’re always welcome here,” Magnus said, putting his cup down. He stood up and looked at Alec. He was always worried for the boy. Alec was always closed off, to anyone. Even Magnus had a hard time figuring him out, since Alec never really opened up about himself.  
Alec shrugged. “I have my own apartment. And I should go work out,” he said. He didn’t look at Magnus and stood there. He worried his bottom lip between his teeth.  
“Maybe you should take the day off,” Magnus suggested. “I know you’ve been very tired lately.” He walked over to Alec and gently took hold of the boy’s wrist. “You’re overworking yourself, Alexander. I don’t want you to get hurt.”  
Alec looked at his wrist in Magnus’s hand. He pulled it back and looked up at the warlock. “I’m not,” he said flatly.  
Magnus frowned. He gave up then, taking a step back. “I’ll see you tonight then.”  
Alec took his phone from Magnus and left the apartment. He decided to skip going home first and just go to the gym. He didn’t really care that he wasn’t wearing clothes proper for working out. He needed to get his mind off of the conversation. He didn’t need to think about how warm Magnus’s hands felt on his wrist, of his eyes, of everything.  
The boy shook his head and took a deep breath. He needed to calm himself down. Magnus was his boss, nothing more.  
He didn’t head into the gym though. Instead, Alec found himself wandering the streets for quite a while. The sun was shining, but the days were getting colder. As he walked, he noticed Downworlders mingling with the mundanes that were out and about today. It seemed unusually busy this morning. It was still early, he knew.  
It was strange, still, knowing about Downworlders, about a whole other world that the mundanes didn’t know about. He knew about Shadowhunters as well, but Magnus had told him to avoid those as much as he could. According to him, Shadowhunters were there to protect mundanes. If they knew Magnus had taken in a stray kid, he could be prosecuted. Alec didn’t want that to happen in the least. So even though the Institute wasn’t too far away, he always steered clear of that.  
He didn’t understand everything about Downworlders. Most seemed kind to him, so he didn’t understand why Shadowhunters seemed so hellbent on prosecuting and locking away, or even killing, so many of them. But he’d never grown up as a Shadowhunter so he couldn’t know. And he’d never met one, either. Perhaps if he did, he may understand. But he didn’t feel like throwing away the warnings into the wind and actively seeking out the Nephilim. Better to stay away.  
Finally, Alec reached the gym, after an hour detour, and stepped inside. It was quiet, only a few people around. He signed in and set to work, clearing his mind so he would perform well tonight.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry that this is a day late. I've had such a busy weekend that I didn't get to writing and editing. Hopefully you'll enjoy this chapter.

Magnus watched the boy leave his apartment. He knew he worried too much about the boy, but he had good reasons. He himself knew very well what kind of an impact being abandoned could have. And yet Alec was very much his own person. He didn’t like being pampered and looked after closely. He’d made that very clear from the beginning. Alec was very self-sufficient, very independent. He had been ever since Magnus had taken him.  
He snapped his fingers and a clear glass appeared in his hand. The warlock took a sip and closed his eyes. He knew he would need to tell Alec soon, but he wasn’t ready for it. But Alec deserved to know. It was his right.  
Magnus sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose with his free hand. This was such a complicated story, dating back centuries. Magnus could remember it well, a boy with black hair and blue eyes who had come to him for help. A warlock girl who was half Shadowhunter as well. A Shadowhunter dying slowly of a yin fen addiction. It felt like so long ago, but also so recently. The Lightwood family was a good family back then. Wealthy, with a good position. And yet within the span of months, everything changed. Shadowhunter names were erased from the list.  
The families continued on living, but no longer a Shadowhunter. Some children would still be born with the Sight, centuries on, including Alec. But that didn’t really make things easier. Being erased form Shadowhunter history never was.  
He opened his eyes and sighed. He had to remember it hadn’t been his fault that that had happened. There was no reason for him to feel guilty. He had no allegiance to Shadowhunters. He disliked them. And they disliked him. They stayed away from each other as much as they could. Occasionally they’d come knocking. Magnus being the High Warlock meant they would come asking for his help. But Magnus wouldn’t help them unless they paid a good amount of money to him.  
It had been quite different those centuries ago.  
He remembered the boy so well. The boy seemed so desperate, even begging him to be sent to Hell. All because of a so-called curse, which in the end had been fake. Magnus still felt so bad for the man, who had grown up into a gorgeous handsome husband, with a gorgeous wife, and lovely children. He’d lost touch after the man had passed away though. Occasionally he met the warlock girl who the man had been married to, but they didn’t interact that much.  
So much had happened since then. When you lived centuries, it sometimes was hard to keep track of all your memories. They tended to blend together at some point. But he would always find himself drowning in blue eyes and remember that boy then, centuries back. He had genuinely liked the Shadowhunter then. How things had changed.  
Magnus sometimes wondered if there ever was an end for him. But it was best not to dwell on that too much. The best thing he could do for himself was just enjoy his life as it was.  
And it was good at the moment.  
He gulped back the drink and put the glass down. He checked the time on his phone and saw it was nearing noon. He needed to get to the club and make sure everything was prepared for the night. It was one of the most entertaining moments, running this club. Even if he hadn’t meant it to be a strip club. Especially not one with an underage stripper. If Shadowhunters caught word, well, Magnus would probably be executed on the spot. Especially if they knew the history of Alec.  
Best to keep it a secret for now. Alec wasn’t ready for the truth yet. Perhaps he could have a chat with Brother Zachariah, see what he’d think.  
Magnus nodded to himself. He wrote a quick fire message and sent it to the Silent Brother. Then he stood up, stretching out. Magnus got himself a little more appropriately dressed, going for black leather pants and a gold and red blouse, the first few buttons open. The blouse was lightly see-through. He combed a hand through his hair, getting it in style. With a swift flick of his fingers at his eyes, his makeup was done. He checked himself in the mirror and grinned. He was devishly handsome, if he did say so himself. He grinned at himself, and his cat eyes flashed briefly. They were golden green, and had come to be one of his favourite features. Especially because Alec seemed to like them so much. Not that he showed them to Alec that often. Most often he just glamoured them so his eyes looked normal.  
Not that he needed to. Mundanes often thought his cat eyes were just cool contact lenses. And he liked to keep it that way. It was no good to tell mundanes about the Shadow World. Mundanes were prone for war, and Magnus was certain war would follow if they knew, if they all knew. They would seek to control him, and the other Downworlders. And Downworlders didn’t let themselves be controlled. Even the Accords were fragile. They always had been, and Magnus had a feeling they always would be. Because Shadowhunters simply didn’t like Downworlders and would always find a good reason to lock up, or even murder, Downworlders every chance they got.  
Such was life. Magnus was over 400 years old. He knew how to navigate life nowadays. He’d learned at a young age that he needed to make the best of whatever he had, even if it was difficult. So he did. He enjoyed his life as much as he could.  
He stopped in front of a photo that he smiled at. It was him, his friend Catarina Loss and Ragnor Fell. It had been for his birthday a few years back. It was a fond memory. Magnus didn’t really celebrate his birthdays. But he would gather with some friends and just spend the day reminiscing about old times. And drink. There was definitely drinking going on.  
When Alec had first gotten to know Catarina and Ragnor, the boy had been absolutely fascinated. Not scared, not overwhelmed, just fascinated. Alec was such an interesting character, he didn’t seem to be scared of anything. Or he faked it, which was more likely.  
Alec had asked questions the entire night until he had fallen asleep. Magnus had tucked him into bed then, and the three of them had drunk the rest of the night away. Catarina seemed particularly fond of the young boy. He didn’t mind. Ragnor was a little more holding back. But Magnus adored his friends and he was nothing if grateful that they seemed to accept the child like they had.  
With a sigh, Magnus grabbed his coat from the hanger and left the loft. There was work to do.  
\-----   
Isabelle stared at the paper in her hands. She twirled the little white sheet with a number on it between her fingers. She knew who it came from, after all, she’d asked for it. But she hadn’t called. And yet the person the number belonged to was a regular was the club. And he seemed very eager to get into contact with Isabelle outside of business hours. And she was too, no doubt. However, she was also careful. Magnus had warned all of them for the regular guests at the club. The man seemed harmless enough, but she knew better.  
Yet, she was so incredibly drawn to him. He was handsome, and tall. Wore glasses as well. He was a nerdy type, but in a handsome kind of way. Isabelle would really like to get to know him better, and she knew he wanted to get to know her better. But somehow, she still doubted.  
She picked up her mobile phone and typed the number into the dialler. She hesitated for a brief moment, before hitting the call button.  
The phone rang, once, twice.  
“Hello? Simon here.”  
Isabelle was silent for a few seconds. “It’s Isabelle,” she answered then.  
“Well hello,” Simon said.  
Isabelle could hear the smile in his voice. She giggled. “Hey. I thought I’d give you a call.”  
“Took you a while,” Simon teased.  
“Yeah, busy and stuff,” Isabelle lied. She sat down on the bed and crossed her legs. Her free hand played with the hem of her t-shirt.  
“That’s okay,” Simon said. He knew better, but he didn’t care. He was glad to hear her voice for once. Which meant he also finally had her number. “What’re you doing right now?” he asked.  
“Nothing,” Isabelle answered. “Why?”  
“Would you like to come have lunch with me then?”  
Isabelle contemplated that. She was hungry, she hadn’t eaten yet. She figured Alec was at the gym, and Jace and Clary would probably join him later today. Normally she’d join them, but she didn’t feel like it today. She hadn’t drunk that much last night, but enough to have her feel unwell a little. And a heavy workout wouldn’t do her any good at the moment. A lunch might, since she hadn’t had breakfast.  
“Uh, sure,” she answered with a smile. “When?”  
“Let’s see,” Simon said. “It’s around 12pm now. Let’s meet up at 1pm, I’ll pick you up.”  
“You know where I live?” Isabelle asked, though she wasn’t at all surprised.  
Simon chuckled to that. “See you then, gorgeous. Wear a dress, maybe?”  
“I’ll see,” Isabelle said in a low voice. She hung up and tossed her phone onto the bed, immediately getting up. She strode over towards her closet and threw it open, searching through the piles of clothes in search of a nice dress.  
She wasn’t a dress kind of girl. She wore them on occasion, but not often. Jeans, a tight shirt and high heels were her go-to’s. Especially in black. Though with her figure, she knew she could wear pretty much any colour and it would look gorgeous on her. But then, she also worked really hard for her figure. And barely ate. Living alone was a lot harder than she had thought, but she had no where else to go. She didn’t know her real parents, and her adoptive parents had kicked her out the moment she turned eighteen. The government no longer granted them money for her then, so she was useless. Two days later they had a new kid in their home while Isabelle roamed the streets.  
Luckily Magnus had put an ad in the paper. She’d met up with Jace and Clary and applied, and after a short meeting with the warlock, they’d gotten the job easily. What they hadn’t counted on was Downworlders. But that all seemed so normal now. They were so used to Downworlders, considering Magnus was one. It wasn’t scary to them at all.  
Finally she found a decent dress in her closet. Clothes spread around her room. It had black walls, with pink dots. A large mirror hung above her bed, as well as next to the door and in the door of her closet. She had a little white round table with a mirror, makeup strewn about it. She had a king-sized bed with pink covers and pillows. Very few personal belongings, since she hadn’t had time to pack up belongings when she’d been kicked out of the house.  
The dress was a crimson red and would perfectly hug her body. It would also fit very well with her black heels and purse. She grinned and changed, did her makeup, combed her hair but let it fall lose and slipped into her heels. She looked into the long mirror in her closet door and did a little twirl, smiling at herself. She looked gorgeous, if she had to admit it. She hoped Simon would think so as well. She hadn’t dressed this nicely in quite some time. After the last breakup, she hadn’t been eager to get back into a relationship. But she would try now.  
Her phone chimed. Isabelle picked it up and smiled. There was a text message from Simon.  
_‘I’m outside’_  
Isabelle giggled and grabbed her purse. She checked if her wallet and ID were in there, which they were. She tucked her phone into the purse and swing it over her shoulder before taking her keys. She left the apartment, closing the door and heading downstairs. As she stepped out of the lobby, Simon was waiting outside for her indeed. She smiled brightly as she headed up to him.  
“Oh wow, you did not disappoint,” Simon said. “Do a little twirl.”  
She twirled and giggled, a light flush on her cheeks. “Thank you.” She took in his appearance. He was wearing a black suit, jacket open to show a white shirt beneath it. Top two buttons were open, showing a bit of tan skin. He didn’t wear his glasses, and his hair was a bit of a mess.   
“So, where are we going then?”  
Simon chuckled and offered his arm. Isabelle took it. “Here, follow me.”  
She followed him. It wasn’t busy out, Simon took her through narrow streets. They would occasionally stop as Simon would explain why he had taken her. A small shop with the best smells. It was a shop selling teas. An old warlock lady was running it. Another little shop with all kinds of chocolates. He bought her a box and offered her one. She took it and smiled as she tasted it.  
“This tastes so good,” she said as they stepped outside.  
“I’d hope so,” Simon said, holding her hand as they walked. They finally arrived at the place he’d meant to have lunch. He opened the door and guided her inside, closing the door behind him. They sat down at a small table near the window. They were inside just in time, as it started raining outside. Isabelle took the menu card.  
“So, you come here often?” she asked.  
“I do,” Simon said, smiling. “My favourite lunch place.”  
“Why?” Isabelle looked over the menu card at the man she was with.  
“They have some delicious meals, and they serve both Downworlders and mundanes.” He grinned, and Isabelle saw two of his teeth too long and glimmer in the light from the place.  
She paled slightly and ducked her head back into the menu card. “So you’re a vampire?” she asked.  
“I am,” Simon said, a little more cautiously. “Is that a problem?”  
“No,” Isabelle answered, a little more confidently. She put the menu down and looked at him. “I had an inkling, but I wasn’t sure.”  
Simon nodded, teeth retracted. He smiled at her. A waitress came over and Simon ordered for the both of them. The waitress left with a little wink to him, which Simon ignored. He turned back to Isabelle.  
“That waitress likes you,” she noted.  
Simon shrugged. “I’m not here with her, am I? I’m here with you. And I don’t really like her.”  
“How long have you been a vampire?” Isabelle asked. Perhaps it was bold of her to ask, but she’d always been very curious. Especially if she liked the person she was with.  
“Been one for a 100 years now. 103 years and a few months to be exact.”  
Isabelle gulped. So he might look young, but by human standards he was definitely old. She eyed him quietly. He didn’t have any scars, looked pretty flawless. He looked somewhere early in his twenties. Vampires didn’t age once they’d turned, she knew that much. But it was weird to see this man look so young and yet be quite that old. The Downworld surprised her on occasion, such as this it seemed.  
“How did you become one?”  
“That’s not really a pretty story,” Simon said as the food arrived. He took a sip from his glass of wine and waved the waitress away, who left looking disappointed. He looked at Isabelle. “Not sure telling you would do you any good.”  
Isabelle pouted as she dug into her sandwich. It was grilled cheese, but it had something different, something better. She couldn’t figure out what, but it was the best grilled cheese sandwich she had ever had. “Will you ever tell me?”  
“I might,” Simon offered. “I’d like to get to know you better, first. My past is a long one, being over a hundred years old.”  
Isabelle nodded and took a sip from her wine as well. It was illegal for her to drink, but Downworlders were different, and so were the places occupied by them. “What would you like to know then?”  
“How come you’re single?”  
Isabelle accidentally dropped her fork. She quickly picked it up again and looked at Simon. “Just didn’t feel like dating anyone,” she murmured. “After my last breakup.”  
Simon raised a curious brow. “What happened?”  
She sighed and put her fork down. She downed her glass of wine, perhaps not a smart move considering she had to work this evening. But if she was going to talk about her ex, well, she hated doing that sober.  
“He just… He cheated on me,” she said, looking down. She worried her bottom lip between her teeth and chewed it. “And then we had a really bad breakup. He wasn’t kind or anything.”   
“If you don’t want to talk about it, you don’t have to,” Simon said, feeling bad for asking. He could see she was uncomfortable talking about it. And that’s not what he wanted. He just wanted a nice, care-free lunch where they got to know each other a little better. He really liked her, and he was quite happy that she had finally called him.   
“Thank you,” Isabelle said, and gave him a sheepish grin. She finished her sandwich and leaned back in her chair. “So, what about you? If you’re that old, you must have had quite a few relationships.”  
“Not really,” Simon said, and shrugged. “Just two others, but they were very short. It was at the time that I had just became a vampire. My teeth constantly popped out. Apparently, no one appreciated that.”  
Isabelle chuckled. “That’s kinda cute,” she said. She smiled at him, and he smiled back. She really liked him. She hadn’t expected to like him so much, even if he was as handsome as he was.   
“Well thank you,” Simon said. He paid for the lunch and got up. Once more, he offered his arm and she took it.   
Isabelle checked the time on her phone. It was past 3pm now, and she knew she’d need to get to the club soon. The club opened at 6pm and Magnus always wanted them there at 5pm. And he didn’t appreciate his dancers being late.  
They walked slowly back to her apartment. Once there, a good hour later, she turned to Simon. “I have to go and get changed and then go to work,” she said.  
Simon nodded and smiled at her. He gently took her chin in his fingers and leaned forward, giving her a quick kiss on her lips. “Alright then,” he said. “Text me,” he said with a wink, turned, and left.  
Isabelle watched him go, before quickly heading up to her apartment. She got changed there, into sweats and a sweater. Her performance clothes would be down at the club. She grabbed her belongings and left her apartment once again, heading for the club.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a quick heads-up, next week's chapter is not going to be pretty. Which is why you should really read and mind the tags. It's not yet rape, but it gets pretty close. I'll post a warning in the summery next week as well. Anyways, enjoy this chapter!
> 
> Also, I've been wanting to post this chapter for five days now but I told myself to hold it to one chapter a week. XD Chapter 5 is also written and ready tbh. 👀 Lemme know what you think!

Alec was stretching his muscles the moment he arrived at the club. He’d spent the afternoon working out, together with Jace and Clary. They’d been unusually quiet towards him. Perhaps they had felt that Alec had absolutely not been in the mood to talk. But normally, Jace wouldn’t get such hints. Clary was a little more perceptive. Isabelle hadn’t been there. Alec had wondered why, but Isabelle was her own person. If she didn’t want to join, than that was up to her.  
As the three of them had made the gym unsafe, Alec had actively glanced at Jace. He knew the other boy was straight, and with Clary. Yet he couldn’t help but wander his eyes over the smooth golden-skinned chest. Drops of sweat dripping down his neck and back. Jace was gorgeous, and Alec hated himself for thinking about his friend in such a way. He shouldn’t. Liking boys in such ways was not okay. And the boy was with Clary. Alec stood no chance. And his parents had drilled into him that falling in love with boys and liking them was wrong, sinful.  
He had told his parents once that he’d met a boy who he liked a lot. He had been ten at the time, and the boy had been an exchange student. His parents had sat him down for a firm talk, telling Alec how disgusting it was for boys to like boys and want them in such ways. They’d preached to him that homosexuality was not okay. Alec hadn’t exactly understood why. But ever since, his feelings had been repressed. And yet here he was, without his parents, in a strip club, having feelings for both his boss, who was older than he looked, and one of his friends.  
Alec didn’t know what to do with himself sometimes. He wondered if it was better to just leave and never come back. He wouldn’t be such a burden on people then. But he also hated the idea of going off on his own. Magnus offered him a good life and he was hesitant to leave that behind, even if Magnus kept secrets from him. Alec couldn’t blame him, he supposed. Perhaps Alec was too young to understand what exactly was going on. Maybe once he turned eighteen that he would understand better, and that Magnus would finally be able to tell him why his parents had abandoned him.  
He sighed and closed his eyes as he stopped his stretching. He pinched the bridge of his nose as he took a deep breath, held it for several seconds, then released it. He was tired. His body was under strain, and yet he didn’t want to admit it. He told himself he was fine, that he was okay. But he knew differently. He just didn’t want to disappoint Magnus, which the warlock would be if he told him that he needed a break.  
Speaking of the warlock, Magnus was instructing the guards and bar maids. It would be another busy night, most-likely. It always was, but considering how stressed Magnus seemed, Alec knew they were in for it. Which also meant private performances tonight.  
Alec liked those the least. He hated private performances. But alas, Magnus was his boss and he knew just how expensive a private performance was. He’d just have to deal with it. They were part of his contract.  
But he disliked spending time in an empty room with a stranger and dancing for them. Magnus ran a strict no-touch policy during private performances, unless agreed otherwise. But strangers would touch him anyway. Just lightly, ‘accidental’. Alec had never told Magnus this, as it would only be a further strain on the warlock’s hectic life. He’d just kept it to himself.  
Alec saw Magnus approached him. He sighed, and turned to the warlock.  
“Can I talk to you?” Magnus asked as he approached Alec.  
Alec nodded. Magnus took Alec aside into his office. He closed the door and leaned against it, looking at his best-earning stripper. Alec was almost like a son to him, if his feelings for the boy didn’t get in the way. But the boy was exhausted. Magnus could see it. He didn’t want the boy to overwork himself.  
“Everything okay?” Alec asked.  
Magnus nodded. “I’m thinking of letting you have the night off,” he explained. “You need to rest, Alexander.”  
Alec clenched his fists and turned away from Magnus. “I’m fine,” he said with a shrug. He turned back to Magnus and looked at him.  
“I know you better than that,” Magnus said with a frown. “I see the strain in your muscles, the tiredness in your eyes. Alexand-“  
“Stop calling me that,” Alec said. “I’m fine.”  
Magnus sighed, frustrated. The boy was so stubborn. But if Alec wanted to work, he’d let him. The warlock nodded. “You have a private performance later on,” he said, opening the door. “For one of my best paying customers.”  
Alec nodded and walked to the door. He turned to Magnus and looked at him. “You’re treating me like a child,” he said. “I’m not.” He left then.  
Magnus shook his head and leaned in the doorway. It was definitely getting time to tell Alec the truth, and yet, he worried what it would do to the boy. Much less the Nephilim. He knew they were watching the club closely, and he knew that sooner or later he would get busted. Perhaps it was time to pack up and move to another city. He’d give Alec the choice to come along or not, but he wasn’t so sure if the kid wanted to. Alec had grown quite distant as of lately, and it started to really worry him. He didn’t know what to do with the boy, or how to talk to him anymore. It was as if the boy was a stranger once more, just like he’d been when he was twelve.  
He was still awaiting a reply from Brother Zachariah. He knew the Silent Brother was busy, and that sending word back was difficult. But the Silent Brother had his ways, Magnus knew. And he appreciated that quite a lot. They weren’t necessarily friends, he supposed. Or maybe they were. He wasn’t sure. But he definitely valued Brother Zachariah’s wisdom. He watched Alec go into the changing room and closed his office door. The club would open in half an hour and his performers would find themselves onto the stage once more.  
Alec closed the door behind him and looked at his three colleagues. He hated changing in front of them, even if he had a screen to cover himself up. The others were in varying stages of undressed, and Alec looked down quickly, not wanting to intrude on their privacy. He caught a glimpse of Jace’s ripped stomach and swallowed, then grabbed a screen and dragged it over to a corner along with the clothes that had been laid out for him.  
This was routine. Get undressed, get changed into performance clothes. It was so normal for him now, and yet it was unnerving almost each day. He pulled his tshirt off and shimmied out of his pants. He unfolded the clothes. It was a white blouse, black leather pants, black lace panties. He swallowed and stared for several minutes.  
“What’s up pretty boy?” Jace said, looking into the direction of the screen. He could see Alec hesitating, which was something Alec didn’t do that often.  
“Nothing,” Alec said quietly. He quickly changed, pulling his boxers off and pulling the panties on. He worked his legs into the tight black leather pants. Luckily they’d get off easier then get on. He pulled on the blouse and did the buttons up. Then he sighed, pulled a hand through his messed up hair and stepped away from the screen.  
Jace took in the appearance of Alec. The boy was closed off. He didn’t know much about him, neither did he about Magnus. The pair of them were interesting. Both had a very strong pull to each other. He could clearly see that. The others too. And yet they seemed to deny their feelings for each other, for whatever reason. Jace didn’t know. He did know, however, that Alec looked at him in a particular way. And although he was flattered, Jace didn’t swing that way. Alec was attractive, that was for sure. But he had Clary, and nothing else mattered for him really. Clary was his world, and he would do anything for her. He simply didn’t like boys.  
Alec walked over to the mirror and looked at himself. All he saw were the flaws, the imperfections. Anyone could call him perfect, yet Alec could only list what he saw. A small scar at the bottom of his neck, a dark spot on collar bone. He grimaced and turned away. He shouldn’t think like that, he knew. He just generally didn’t really like how he looked. It often made him wonder why other people did like how he looked. He couldn’t really see it himself. And it didn’t necessarily assure him that the people in the club adored him. Because he knew what they wanted if they could get their hands on him. He knew what they would do to him. And that was a prospect he’d rather not think about.  
Although occasionally he did admit to himself that perhaps he was better off just letting people have him. He was worthless enough to his parents that they abandoned him. Apparently he wasn’t really lovable or something, or he would still be living with his parents, going to school, being an actual normal teenager. But life didn’t seem to work that way for him. Instead he was here, under the care of a very old warlock, being a stripper in a club. An illegal stripper.  
The boy sighed and closed his eyes. He needed to clear his mind so he could dance properly tonight. He knew he’d been lacking in his performances. Magus always told him he did well, but Alec wasn’t a fool. He knew he had been lacking recently. Whether that was because he was so tired, or because his mind was always a mess, a chaos. He didn’t know. And it didn’t matter. All that mattered was that he needed to perform properly and be a good asset. That was what he was good for at the moment.  
He could hear the music starting up, guests entering the club, getting drinks and mingling about. He quickly did another few stretching exercises, before he followed after the others onto the stage. Cheers went around, as always. Spotlights fixed onto the four dancers and they started swaying around the pole.  
It didn’t take the four of them long to undo their general clothing and strip down to the bare minimum. Alec didn’t look into the crowd that night, not interested to see lustful gazes, tightened pants, sped up breathing. All he did was focus on his performance. He was intensely concentrated. He hadn’t been this concentrated in a while, but he knew that if he made a mistake now, took a misstep, he would beat himself up over it after the performance was done. Sweat dripped from his hair down his neck and back, raising bumps across his skin. A shiver racked his body as he danced to the song, getting lost in the beat and the words. He let it guide his body movements, let it take away all of the worries that plagued his mind.  
Alec started to enjoy himself even. Something that rarely happened, especially if he was dancing. But he smiled, let his hands glide over his body, grinned at the customers below, even dared a grin at Magnus, who was watching him very intently. Magnus was no doubt judging his movements, he knew that much. Alec didn’t mind, as he put up one of his best performances so far. He winked here and there, flashed a wink at the warlock too, who quickly gulped down the drink in his hand. Oh yes, Alec was definitely enjoying himself for once.  
The music slowed and so did his movements. He managed a quick glance at the others. As always, Jace and Clary were always stealing glances from one another. Jace looked handsome in golden tight boxers, his muscles stood out as he worked himself around the pole, around the stage. Clary looked good, and so did Isabelle. Alec had tried so hard to like girls, to force himself to fall in love with them. And yet he simply couldn’t. He didn’t understand why. If being gay was so wrong, surely he could make himself fall in love with a girl.  
But he simply couldn’t. Alec had given up on trying and had accepted that he simply liked and fell for guys. He just wouldn’t act on it. It was wrong. It was a sin. Alec wasn’t religious, but he hated the fact that he was gay. Despised it even. If it wasn’t natural, then he would supress his feelings and not act on them. It was that simple.  
He didn’t need those feelings anyway. All he needed was to focus on his dancing and be good at that. And he was. He knew that. He bent down, giving the audience a view of his ass, before slowly raising himself up again. He twirled around and licked his lips. There was a particularly interesting person in the crowd below him. He wore red pants, white shirt and red jacket. He had one darkly coloured eye, and one bright blue. His hair was black, and slicked back. He was handsome and tall. And he was a vampire.  
Alec knew him. He was probably the guest he needed to dance for later tonight. He flashed a smile, and the vampire grinned back, teeth gleaming in the dull light. Vampires unnerved him quite a bit. He didn’t like that they needed blood to survive. But it wasn’t up to him who he performed for or not. It was up to Magnus.  
He looked over towards the bar but Magnus was gone. Alec wondered where the warlock had wandered off to, but it was none of his business. This was Magnus’s club. Alec didn’t have a say in the matter. So if Magnus didn’t want to be there, he simply wasn’t. Alec decided to focus back on his dancing.  
The beat was faster now. More energetic. And so was the crowd as they danced or watched the performance. Alec bent down low and accepted a dollar bill between his teeth. He tucked it into the waistband of his panties, winked and rose back up again, taking long strides back to the pole. He placed his hands along the cold metal and swung himself around the pole, letting the beat of the song thrum through his body. It never mattered what song was playing, Alec could dance to each with ease. Magnus called him a natural performer, and Alec was quite in agreement with that. Even if he disliked himself as much as he did, he could agree on some things.  
He was an excellent dancer for starters. He was athletic and knew how to use the beat to his advantage. He also knew what moves the crowd liked best, and threw in those on random occasion to keep the guests guessing. It was a nice game to play. Even if he hated being on the stage, with the spotlight high above him brightly shining down on him, he liked playing the game. It was a dangerous game, he knew. And he was glad for the security that were stationed all over the club. Alec was certain that if there were one, well, his stage would have been crowded with guests.  
And he didn’t exactly want that.  
The performance was drawing to an end. Alec knew this as they started playing the signature last three songs. These songs always signalled the end of the performance, and he had to admit he was glad. He was tired, and he still had a performance after this. So when the last song finally ended, Alec strode back into the curtains and into the dressing room. His chest was rising and falling rapidly and he sat down with a bottle of water.  
The others came in as well, laughing with each other. They dried themselves off. Alec hadn’t even thought about that, even though he was covered in sweat. He would do that in a minute. He needed to regain his breath first.  
The boy chugged down the water bottle until it was empty. He stood up and grabbed a towel, drying himself off finally.  
“You danced very intensely tonight,” Jace noted, sitting down and observing Alec. “Any special occasion? You lost your virginity to Magnus?”  
Alec made a face of disgust. “Magnus raised me, and is my boss. He doesn’t want me like that,” he said.  
“Well,” Isabelle cut in, “you’re wrong there. Magnus definitely has an eye for you.”  
“N- no,” Alec stuttered, staring at the three of them. They acted as if it was so clear, but Alec knew differently. Magnus wouldn’t want him that way. And it was unnatural.  
“Besides, it’s not natural for men to…” He frowned, not knowing how to say what he wanted to say. It wasn’t natural for men to have sex, to want each other in such manners. But he couldn’t say that.  
“What, to have sex? To love each other? Who put that idea in your head?” Clary asked, raising an eyebrow. “It’s so normal nowadays, Alec. Girls loving girls. Boys loving boys. Nothing’s wrong with that.”  
“It is,” Alec deadpanned. He turned away from them and took a deep breath. It was wrong. His parents had told him it was wrong. So why were they so adamant that it was normal? That it was okay? It simply couldn’t be. They were wrong.  
“Whoever’s gotten into your head is wrong,” Jace said after a few minutes of silence. “I mean, I don’t like boys. But if they wanna do each other they should. They have that freedom now.”  
“Stop it,” Alec said, turning back to them. “My parents told me it’s wrong, so it is.”  
“But you like men,” Isabelle said, sounding worried now.  
“I- I don’t!” Alec flushed, and was staring at them with wide eyes. There was no way that they knew. He had never let any sign of it pass by, had he?  
“Oh you definitely do. I’ve seen you look at me, Alec. And I’ve seen you look at Magnus. It’s the same look I give Clary. You’ve never given any girl such a look.” Jace stood up and approached Alec, who looked like a deer caught in a headlight. “It’s okay.”  
“Shut up!” Alec shook his head, taking another step back. “I- I…” He was trembling, not knowing what to say. Being confronted with this was not something he had ever wanted to be confronted with. And yet here he was, with three people very certain that homosexuality was okay, and his head telling him it was not. He could hear his mother’s voice telling him that it was very wrong to love boys. That he should never act on such feelings. That he would be punished for it eventually. It wasn’t okay, even if laws and the society was flexible at the moment. His mother had warned him not to accept it from himself, even if he might have to of others.  
Jace stood there, watching Alec. The boy was so conflicted, he felt quite bad for him. Even if he didn’t like Alec in such ways, seeing the boy as hurt as he was wasn’t something he wanted. He didn’t know what had gone down in Alec’s past, but it mustn’t have been pretty for Alec to look like this. He looked like he was in pain, suffering. Like he didn’t know what to do. Like he was being told the most awful things.  
Alec shook his head once more. He was feeling light-headed. He probably needed to eat something, and Jace being as kind as always, had something on hand. Jace took a chocolate bar out of his bag and offered it to Alec, who took it and chowed it down, before gulping back another water bottle. Finally, he was calming down a little. He took a deep breath.  
“You have your beliefs, I have mine.” He simply shrugged, grabbed a sweater that had been lying around, pulled it on and left the room to prepare himself for the private performance that would be in a bit.  
Jace turned back to the others. “Whatever happened to him, it wasn’t pretty,” he said, voice tinged with sadness.  
“Poor Alec,” Isabelle said. “I hope Magnus can help him though. No one deserves to be that upset about his own feelings.”  
They continued talking amongst themselves, waiting around for the club to close. They always did. After the club closed, they would have a meeting with Magnus, and then go home, sleep, and then the next day pretty much everything would be on repeat.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Because I don't have time to post it tomorrow, here it is today.

Alec came home from school. He was glowing, vibrating with excitement. He dropped his bag onto the kitchen table and sat down at a chair, smiling.  
“What are you smiling at?” Maryse asked, looking at her son.  
“There’s this boy,” he said, looking at his mother with bright eyes. “He’s an exchange student and I really like him.”  
“Robert,” Maryse called, and her husband came downstairs. He looked at her. “What’s wrong?”  
“I really like this one boy at school,” Alec repeated, smiling brightly. He didn’t know that it was supposedly wrong to like boys. He’d grown up in a world where boys liking boys and girls liking girls was normal. It happened, it was okay. His parents had never talked to him about any of it. He got all giddy thinking about the boy at his school, the exchange student. The boy had auburn hair and green eyes. He was tall, taller than Alec, and just a month younger than him.  
Maryse looked at Robert and frowned. She turned back to her son and crossed her arms over her chest. “Alexander, liking boys is wrong,” she said.  
“What do you mean?” Alec asked, looking at his parents. His smile faded, his body became tense. “But, society says it’s okay.”  
“It isn’t,” Robert said, speaking up now. “It’s disgusting and wrong.”  
“Boys liking boys is unnatural, Alexander. You should never act on such feelings,” Maryse said with a sigh. “Just because society accepts it, doesn’t mean it’s right. Please don’t ever do this.” She shook her head, clearly disappointed and distraught. She couldn’t believe her son was gay, she hated the entire idea of it. She knew Shadowhunters looked really bad on gay Shadowhunters. Even though their family had been erased from them, she and Robert were certain that they could claim their name back and become a powerful Shadowhunter name again.  
But not if Alec liked boys. No, she wouldn’t stand for it. Not ever.  
Alec was silent. He looked down, wondering why it was so wrong. Suddenly he wondered if something was wrong with him, it must be. He grimaced and nodded. “Sorry,” he apologised.  
\-----  
Alec took a deep breath and paced in front of the door to one of the private dance rooms. He knew his guest was in there, that Magnus was explaining the rules of the performance. Alec wasn’t so certain he wanted to do this, or could do this. Having Jace, Izzy and Clary confront him with his feelings hadn’t been good for him. He couldn’t appreciate being confronted with his feelings, with his past. He hated it.  
But there was nothing he could do about it now. He had changed in the meanwhile, his client had wanted something very specific. He quite disliked this outfit. He was wearing heels. He was used to wearing and dancing on heels but his feet would ache after a while. Black stockings with a white bow on top, being held up by a garter belt around his thighs. Black lace panties, white gloves and a black leather collar with white seem and fabric inside of it. He had looked at himself in the mirror and grimaced. This was almost humiliating. But alas, whatever the client wanted, the client would get. That is as it was in this club.  
The door opened and Alec stopped pacing. Magnus came outside and closed the door. He looked at Alec, clearly worried for the boy.  
“Are you sure you’re up for this?” he asked.  
“Sure I am,” Alec said, giving a shrug. He reached for the doorknob, but Magnus held it.  
“You’re tired and in distress. And I can see it, so don’t deny it.” Magnus frowned, waving Alec’s hand away from the door. “I don’t want you to perform if you’re uncomfortable, or distressed, or exhausted. And you seem to be all three.”  
Alec gritted his teeth, hands curling into fists. He was fine. He was. Sure he was a little conflicted at the moment but nothing that stopped him from performing. It was ridiculous that Magnus was being so worried about him. In a year, Alec would be an adult, and then he could legally do whatever he wanted. Technically he could already, since he wasn’t an official citizen anywhere in the world. But still.  
“Just, please? I’m really fine, Magnus.”  
Magnus took a deep breath, held it for a few seconds, then let it go in a deep sigh. He nodded, moving away from the door. “Fine,” he said. “For now.”  
“I’m not a child. I know my limits. I can take care of myself,” Alec said, more softly now. He looked at Magnus and gave a soft smile. “Thank you for caring, but I promise I’ll tell you if I can’t do something.”  
Magnus softened. He couldn’t help but be fond of the boy. He nodded, and gave Alec’s shoulder a gentle and reassuring squeeze. “Okay.”  
Alec nodded and opened the door to the private room. He stepped inside and closed the door.  
The room was spacious. The walls were a dark red, almost like dried up blood. One big spotlight hung above a pole, casting an eerie white glow around the pole. His client sat in a simple wooden chair. The moment the door opened, the client looked at Alec and smirked, eyes raking up and down his body. The vampire definitely liked seeing the boy in this attire.  
Alec strode up to the pole and took his position. His heart was hammering in his chest. He was nervous for absolutely no reason. He had done these performances so many times it was routine. Even with this vampire. And yet, his gut told him that something was wrong. That he wasn’t supposed to be there, that he should flee.  
His hands placed themselves around the pole and his eyes closed. He took a few deep breaths to calm himself down and concentrate on what he was about to do. And then the music started.  
Alec let the beat and the words resonate through his body. The song was a newer one, but familiar anyway. He closed his eyes as his body took control. He didn’t have to think about this, this was natural. Dancing was what he was good at, if it was the only thing he was good at in his life. He liked dancing, not in front of people but on his own. But he earned money with it to sustain himself and Magnus and that was all that really mattered to him.  
So as the vampire watched and the music sounded through the room, he let go of all of his thoughts. He knew letting go of negative things was important. He just found it very difficult sometimes. But he could now as he sang along inside his head.

_Boy, don't call me angel_  
You ain’t got me right  
Don't call me angel  
You can't pay my price  
Ain’t from no Heaven  
Yeah, you heard me right (Yeah, you heard me)  
Even though you know we fly (Though you know we)  
Don't call me angel 

Alec swung himself around the pole. He lifted a leg, wrapped it around the cool steel and threw his head back before straightening up again. He twirled and started approaching the vampire in the chair.

_Uh, don't call me angel when I'm a mess_  
Don't call me angel when I get undressed  
You know I, I don't like that, boy  
Uh, I make my money, and I write the checks  
So say my name with a little respect  
All my girls successful, and you're just our guest 

Alec licked his lips and winked at the vampire. He turned his back on the man and bent down, smirking at the vampire between his legs before getting back up and striding back to the pole. The heels were uncomfortable and painful, but it didn’t matter. He barely felt it as the music thrummed through his body.

_Do I really need to say it?_  
Do I need to say it again, yeah?  
You better stop the sweet talk  
And keep your pretty mouth shut 

He mouthed along with the lyrics. He glanced at the vampire, who leaned back in his chair and smirked. So far so good. The man seemed to be enjoying it so far and that made Alec feel more confident. He straightened his shoulder and wrapped a hand around the pole, swinging himself around it.

_Boy, don't call me angel_  
You ain’t got me right  
Don’t call me angel  
You can't pay my price  
Ain’t from no Heaven  
Yeah, you heard me right (Yeah, you heard me)  
Even though you know we fly (Though you know we)  
Don't call me angel 

Alec licked his lips and grinned at the vampire, giving him a quick wink. The vampire straightened up and Alec approached once more, but stopped halfway there. He waved his finger in front of the vampire before teasingly twirling around and walking to the pole. There was a light sheen of sweat collecting in the crook of his neck.

_See you here with somebody_  
You sizin' up my body, oh yeah  
Don't you know that I bite when the sun set? Yeah  
So don’t you try come around me  
Might work with her, but not me, oh yeah  
Don't you know that I bite when the sun set? 

_Keep my name out your mouth_  
I know what you about  
So keep my name out your mouth (Oh yeah) 

Alec threw his head back and leaned it against the pole as he slid down, legs widening. His hands glided along his thighs as he opened them, eyelids half closed as he looked at the vampire with the most lustful gaze he could manage. A whisper told him how wrong he was being, how sinful, unnatural. But he ignored it in favour of the confidence boost he was getting. He rose and laughed quietly as he slid his hands down to the waistband of his panties. He dipped his thumbs into the waistband, almost shimmying the fabrics down, before quickly retreating his fingers. He worried his bottom lip between his teeth and winked at the vampire once more.

_Boy, don't call me angel_  
You ain't got me right  
Don't call me angel  
You can't pay my price  
Ain't from no Heaven  
Yeah, you heard me right (Yeah, you heard me)  
Even though you know we fly (Though you know we)  
Don't call me angel 

The boy let himself swing around the pole once more. It was cool to the touch, cooling down his body slightly. His palms were sweaty, his hair wet. He wasn’t exhausted though. He was having quite a good time performing to this song. He licked his lips as he concentrated on the words and the beat.

_I appreciate the way you watch me, I can't lie_  
I drop it down, I pick it up, I back it off the county line  
I fell from Heaven, now I'm living like a devil  
You can't get me off your mind  
I appreciate the way you want me, I can't lie (Can't lie)  
I drop it low, I back it up, I know you wanna think you're mine  
Baby, I totally get it, you can't guess so  
You can't get me off your mind  
We in it together, but don't call me angel 

Alec could relate to the lyrics. In part he felt like he fell from heaven and lived like a devil. Especially considering the job he was working. But whatever worked for him was fine. He was nothing but grateful to Magnus for offering this job to him. It was Alec’s way of paying Magnus back for all the years that the warlock had cared for him.  
He strode over to the vampire and grinned. He placed his hands on the back of the chair behind the man, bent down until their faces almost touched. He smiled and mouthed along with the lyrics. And just as the last sentence came over the music, and Alec stood and turned, hands gripped his hips.  
This wasn’t what was supposed to be happening. He was pulled down into the vampire’s lap. Vampires were stronger than mundanes and could easily control them. The rest of the lyrics and the song faded as Alec was concentrated on the cold hands on his skin, sharp nails digging into his flesh. This was against protocol. This wasn’t routine. Alec was frozen in time as the vampire bent forward and placed a soft kiss in the crook of Alec’s neck.  
“You’re such a goddamn tease,” the vampire whispered in his ear. A hand slid up, fingers wrapped around Alec’s throat. The boy’s breathing was already restricted as it was, but the vampire placed pressure on his throat. Alec’s breath caught, tears burned at the corners of his eyes but he refused to let them slip.  
“I don’t like teasing,” the vampire breathed. Sharp teeth grazed along his skin, irritating the gentle smooth skin. The vampire felt Alec’s pulse beneath the thin skin. Alec’s heart was hammering in his throat, blood racing through his body. He didn’t know what to do. He needed to fight back, but his body was frozen against the vampire’s. He felt completely useless.  
“You’re so pretty too. You’d make a very good subjugate, or vampire perhaps even. A good boy for me,” the vampire said, free hand not wrapped around the boy’s throat sliding across Alec’s belly and then fingers dipping into the waistband of the panties.  
That’s when Alec finally managed to fight back. He struggled in the grasp and the vampire let him go. Alec fled to the farthest corner he could find, losing his heels in the progress. His eyes were red-rimmed, a sign of tears desperate to break through and slip down his skin. His cheeks were flushed, his breathing erratic and too fast. He felt light-headed, as if he wasn’t getting enough oxygen. As if his lungs needed to work harder.  
The vampire was on him in a second, pressing himself into Alec’s space. The boy stared with wide, fearful eyes at the man in front of him. He pressed his hands against the vampire’s chest and tried to push away the body pressing into his. But it felt like pushing against a steel wall. The vampire’s skin was cold under his touch, where he felt like he was burning up. It was almost soothing.  
Almost.  
The vampire chuckled and grabbed Alec’s hands into one wrist, pushing them up above his head. The man bent down and licked a stripe up Alec’s throat. Alec closed his eyes, head resting against the wall behind him as the vampire enjoyed destroying all of his confidence.  
“You’re going to be good for me,” the vampire murmured against Alec’s skin. “You’re going to obey me, and not be a petty bitch about it. This is what you get for being such a teasing little thing.”  
Alec wanted to cry, and scream, and punch the vampire. But he couldn’t. His wrists were locked tightly into the vampire’s hands. There seemed to be no escape for this assault. And he didn’t understand why. He was supposed to be teasing, or he wouldn’t be a good stripper.  
Once more, fingers dipped into the waistband of his panties. Alec bit down hard on his bottom lip, drawing blood. This caught the vampire’s attention.  
“Oh yes, I do quite like blood,” the vampire murmured. He licked the blood from Alec’s chin. The boy felt the urge to throw up, but tried to keep it under control. He was certain throwing up was going to make it so much worse than it already was.  
The fingers felt the smooth skin as they slid down. “Ah, you shave, huh?”  
Alec did indeed shave. Magnus had always told him he didn’t have to, but he did. He’d taught himself how to shave without getting hurt, even if it did result in wounds the first few times. He liked the smoothness of his skin after shaving. He also liked the hygiene of it.  
The vampire laughed and another drop of blood dripped down onto Alec’s cheek. The vampire licked it up once more and moaned. “You taste so delicious, little boy.”  
This seemed to unfreeze Alec. He sprung into action, lifting his knee up into the vampire’s crotch. The vampire took a step back in surprise, letting go of Alec’s hands as well. Alec took this opportunity and darted towards the door, the vampire right on his heel. He grabbed the knob and threw open the door, stepping outside quickly. His body was trembling severely. His knees were weak and about to give in.  
Magnus was across the hall, talking to one of the guards. He turned away from the guard as a door opened. His eyes landed on Alec, who looked as white as paper. Something was wrong, he knew it. The vampire appeared in the doorway, trying to look casual as if nothing had happened. But Magnus had an inkling of what had gone down, and Magnus did not tolerate that.  
With a few quick strides he reached Alec, who was looking at him through tear-filled eyes. The guard had managed to take hold of the vampire.  
“Keep him there,” Magnus ordered, as he gently took Alec by the hand and guided him to his office. He sat the boy down in the chair and wrapped a blanket around him that had appeared out of thin air. “Stay here,” he said gently and left the office, closing the door.  
Magnus strode back over to the guard and the vampire. The vampire was grabbed by his hair and dragged along. Magnus didn’t care for hands wrapping around his wrists and the vampire saying that he didn’t do anything wrong. He knew better.  
The vampire was dragged onto stage. Spotlights focused on him, the music stopped and everyone in the audience turned to them. Magnus stood there, hand firmly twisted into the vampire’s strands.  
“You all know the policies of my club,” he announced. “And you all know the punishment for breaking any of the policies.”  
The audience agreed, and Magnus smirked. He jumped down from the stage, not sparing a glance at the vampire as he made his way through the crowd. The door was opened and the vampire was tossed outside, onto the streets, without any further regard.  
“You are hereby banned forever from the club,” Magnus said. The vampire stared at him for a long minute, before bending his head and fleeing. Magnus turned to the club. “Club’s closed. Get out!”  
As the guests started streaming out, the warlock made his way back through the club, onto the stage and behind the scenes. He went to his office and opened the door. Alec was still there, in the same position, still trembling and white and upset and terrified.  
He swallowed and sat down on the desk in front of Alec. The boy looked at him with glazed over eyes. He looked so shaken up, so upset by what had happened. Magnus could only imagine how bad it could have been had Alec not managed to fight himself free.  
“Alexander,” Magnus said softly.  
Alec shook his head, wrapping the blanket tightly around himself. He couldn’t believe what had just happened. He felt the vampire’s hands on him still, even if they weren’t there. He felt disgusted. It was his own fault.  
“Alec,” Magnus said, shaking his head sadly. “I’m so sorry,” he said, not knowing what else to say. He was upset as well. That this had happened to the boy he had raised, under his roof, his club. It was inexcusable.  
“Don’t,” Alec whispered, looking down. Tears finally slipped free, leaving wet tear tracks down his face. He sniffled, feeling cold and hot all at the same time. He felt sick, the need to throw up, and yet he knew he couldn’t. “It was my fault.”  
“This was not your fault,” Magnus said, gritting his teeth. “This was not your fault, Alexander. I’m so sorry that this happened to you. I…”  
Alec shook his head. “It is. The vampire said so himself,” he mumbled. “Maybe if I hadn’t fought…”  
Magnus didn’t want to think about what would have happened if Alec hadn’t fought indeed. It was a terrifying fate the boy would have undergone, one no one ever should.  
“Stop it,” the warlock said. “This is in no way your fault, and it will never happen again.” He stood up, taking a deep breath to keep himself calm. “Lets get you home. You must be tired and want a shower. The club is closed now anyway.”  
Alec shrugged, but nodded. He got up, a little more stable on his feet. He did feel like it was his fault, even if Magnus told him that it wasn’t. He couldn’t help but feel guilty for fighting back now. He should have obeyed, just like the vampire had told him. Perhaps then, for once, he could have been actually useful to someone.  
Alec was guided out into the hallway where Clary, Izzy and Jace were waiting. They’d caught word of what had happened, and were concerned. But they remained quiet, Alec did not look to be in the mood to be comforted or talked to. And they respected that.  
The club was shut and Alec was brought back to Magnus’s apartment. The others headed back to their own apartments.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One chapter full of feelings and confusion and Alec not knowing what to do or how to act coming up. :P

For the second night in a row, Alec found himself in Magnus’ apartment. He was in a daze. He didn’t exactly know how to respond, or if he could. His body felt like it had locked itself down. He couldn’t speak. He couldn’t really move. Even blinking was more effort than he could really afford.  
His lip had stopped bleeding but he still tasted metallic in his mouth. He hated that taste, hated the feeling of the vampire’s tongue on him, lapping up the red liquid that had poured from the wound on his lip.  
Don’t think about it.  
Alec closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He knew Magnus was fussing over him, trying to get him to speak. But he just couldn’t. His body refused to cooperate. He wanted to speak. He just couldn’t. He could see Magnus moving around, trying to get his attention. And nothing worked.  
As if the confrontation earlier with Jace, Clary and Isabelle hadn’t been enough, this happened too. Alec felt like his world was upside down at the moment. He didn’t know how to act. All he wanted to do right now was take a hot shower, crawl into bed and sleep it off. His believes were gone. He knew his mother would find him disgusting now. His father too. They would never be able to love him again if they knew about this. To make it worse, Magnus fussing over him was giving him feelings he didn’t want. His head was telling him that it was quite adorable that Magnus was fussing over him. His heart beating just a tad bit faster every time the warlock came into view.  
“Alexander?” Magnus asked, clearly worried for the boy. To think that one of his best clients had hurt the boy in such a way made him want to go after the vampire. Alec was still wearing the same attire as he had for the performance, and even though Magnus wanted to remove it, every time he got close Alec would start shaking. And Magnus wasn’t sure if it was fine to continue then.  
The collar bothered the warlock the most. He should have never agreed to this, should have sent the vampire home. He wondered if it was his lust for money and if it could have been prevented. Perhaps it was time to take Alec off the job.  
Alec blinked and looked up at Magnus. “Magnus,” he mumbled. He shoved the blanket away and stood up. Finally, his body was cooperating. He fumbled with the collar on his neck, but his hands were trembling. Tears were blurring his vision as everything came crashing down. The vampire pulling him in his lap, touching him, murmuring to him.  
Tears fell, and Alec covered his mouth with his hand as he tried not to have an entire mental breakdown at the moment. He was entirely unlovable now. Nobody would ever want to be with him. He was dirty, stained. Perhaps it wasn’t visible at first glance, but he could feel it. Could feel the hands roaming his skin. They would forever be there, reminding him of how disgusting that he was. Perhaps this was just his punishment for being attracted to men.  
He sunk to his knees. He was an absolute disgrace now.  
Magnus gently got to his knees in front of Alec. “Alexander,” he said, not exactly sure how to act. He was glad that the boy finally seemed responsive, but this wasn’t what he had expected. Alec had always been very closed off. He rarely showed emotion, if at all. And now, to see the boy on the floor, on his knees, crying and shaking…. Well, that was new to him.  
He gently reached out, but Alec moved away.  
“Please don’t,” Alec whispered, taking a deep breath. He couldn’t let anyone touch him. They would be dirty then as well. “You’ll be dirty too.”  
“Alexander…” Magnus’s heart broke. He shook his head. “That’s absolutely not true. You’re not dirty,” he said.  
Alec looked at Magnus through blurry eyes. He blinked the tears out of his eyes, got up and started pacing. He was dirty, how could Magnus not see it? He didn’t understand. He once more fumbled with the collar and finally managed to get it off, tossing it aside. This seemed to open up his airway and he was finally able to breathe properly again.  
Magnus watched the boy, desperate to get him to calm down. When the collar came off, he had to contain his anger. He had already seen two finger trails above the collar, where the vampire must have gripped Alec’s throat. But to see the red ring around the boy’s neck made him visibly angry. If he didn’t have the responsibility to take care of the boy, he would have gone after the vampire and obliterated him. But he couldn’t right now.  
“You’re lying,” Alec mumbled. “You don’t have to be so kind to me. I’ll pack my stuff and leave in the morning,” he said, trying to think of a place he could go to. He didn’t really have anyone outside of Magnus.  
“What?” Magnus was confused. He couldn’t remember having said anything about wanting Alec to leave. He couldn’t imagine Alec leaving.  
“I’m sorry for having been such a burden on you,” Alec continued, turning away from Magnus. He crossed his arms over his chest. He needed to figure out where to go and what to do next. The world was big out there and he had always been protected by his parents, and then Magnus. The thought of being on his own was terrifying, yet he knew he needed to leave. No one would want someone as dirty and stained as him around.  
“Alexander, stop,” Magnus said, gently taking hold of Alec’s shoulder and turning him around. “I have no idea why you’re saying this, but I’m not letting you leave. You’re my responsibility and I will take care of you.”  
Alec stared at Magnus. He took a step back. “Stop pretending you care,” he said.  
“But I do,” Magnus said. He sighed and looked at Alec. “Alexander, I care about you. Probably more than I should, in a way that I shouldn’t. But I do. Ever since you came to live with me when you were twelve, you’ve been there, in my life, every day. And I wouldn’t trade that, ever.”  
Alec stared long and hard at the warlock, searching his eyes, his face, his body language, for signs of a lie. But he couldn’t find any. It seemed that Magnus was telling the truth indeed, but he didn’t want it to be true. It couldn’t be. Alec had always been such a burden to Magnus, a kid thrusted onto the warlock. And he still didn’t know why. Didn’t know why his parents abandoned him. Maybe they knew how much of a failure Alec was going to be. Maybe they suspected that Alec was going to be this, a target for people. And they simply didn’t want to bother with that.  
He could understand. What he couldn’t understand was that Magnus cared about him. The warlock shouldn’t. Alec knew now that being cared about was only going to end up hurting people. He needed to close himself off to everyone, to every feeling. So that no one would ever be hurt by him again.  
“Stop it,” Magnus said, observing Alec. He didn’t know exactly what the boy was thinking, but he could guess. He knew the boy well enough that Alec was always doubting himself and being negative. And honestly, it was kind of tiring to him. Magnus had tried so hard the past five years to bring some positivity to the boy, make him see the world in a positive manner. And yet, he now was uncertain if that was something that was ever going to happen.  
Alec was simply a very negative-thinking person, it seemed. The warlock sighed, trying to find the words to tell Alec that it was going to be okay.  
“I’m unlovable,” Alec said, shaking his head. “You can’t care about me, you’ll end up getting hurt. I am thankful for all that you’ve done for me b-“  
“But I love you,” Magnus blurted out, and then covered his mouth. That was definitely not something that he had meant to say. Alec was a minor. He had promised himself no minors. He was going to get Shadowhunters on his roof.  
Alec paled, eyes wide. He opened his mouth to say something, but came up short. He had never imagined that someone could love him. Sure, Jace, Izzy and Clary had told him that Magnus was at least more affectionate towards him than he should be. But that didn’t mean that the warlock loved him. He couldn’t be loved. It was wrong for men to love each other. It was unnatural. His parents had told him so. Why was the world so desperate on testing him today?  
He shook his head. “You can’t,” he whispered. “It’s wrong, it’s unnatural, it’s gross,” he said, remembering his mother’s harsh words.  
“It’s not,” Magnus said, taking a step forward. “I don’t know what your parents have told you, Alexander. But it’s not wrong, or unnatural, or gross.”  
Alec looked at Magnus, once more tears in his eyes. This wasn’t okay. Why was he being confronted with his emotions again? He hated it. He didn’t want to be confronted with the fact that he had unnatural feelings. He was a freak, he knew. He didn’t need to be said that again and again.  
“It is,” Alec said, trembling now. He shook his head. He needed to supress his feelings for Magnus. He shouldn’t notice the way the warlock’s lips curved, the way his eyes glinted and held so much emotion. And yet he couldn’t refuse, somehow. Because Magnus was gorgeous and had been taking care of him and Alec knew, he knew, that Magnus harboured more feelings for him than he showed. As did Alec.  
Magnus took another step forward so they were face to face. He gently laid his hand across Alec’s cheek and looked at the boy. “It’s okay,” he said. And then suddenly lips were on him.  
Alec placed a hand on the back of Magnus’s neck, the other on his cheek, and pulled him close, crashing their lips together. For a moment, he didn’t think or care about it. His thoughts were off, and all that mattered was the fiery, burning passion between then.  
Magnus was taken aback, but quickly recovered. His free hand wrapped around Alec’s waist, his eyes fluttered shut. Alec was needy and took control, and Magnus happily obliged to Alec’s demands. For the first time in five years, Magnus felt like he had a breakthrough with Alec. That he was finally getting through to the boy.  
And then Alec moved away, panting, staring with wide eyes as if he couldn’t believe he’d just done that. He took a step back, trying to process what had just happened, what he had done. But his thoughts were still turned off. He couldn’t process whatever he was thinking, as if he was hearing something yet not hearing it at all.  
And Magnus was looking at him with so much expectation, as well as anxiety. Magnus realised that what had just happened may be hard for the boy to accept, even if he had initiated it. Magnus quickly took a step forward. “It’s okay,” he said.  
Alec covered his mouth and looked down. He felt like he was losing himself. He’d worked so hard to keep up a certain image but now it seemed to be flushed down the drain. As if he had finally showed himself, his true self, that he had tried so hard to hide. His façade was gone. He felt so much more exposed than he had ever been. As if anyone could see who he exactly was. And that was definitely not what he had wanted. This was wrong. This was unnatural. This was gross.  
And yet it had felt so right. Kissing Magnus had felt so good, so natural, as if they’d perfectly fit each other, were made for each other. And it made the turmoil in his head just that much worse. His parents words echoed in his mind and yet here he was, looking at Magnus and knowing that he wanted to do it again, because it had been right. It had felt good. And he couldn’t understand why his parents had been so against the idea of him liking boys, being attracted to them at all.  
Finally, he snapped out of his reverie. He blinked, shoulders sagging. He was so utterly exhausted now. Between the dancing, being confronted by his fellow strippers, then giving the private performance and eventually this. He felt like he could sleep for three days and then still be entirely too exhausted.  
“Are you okay?” Magnus asked, worried now. Alec looked like he was about to pass out and that wasn’t something he wanted.  
Alec nodded, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Just tired,” he said. “I need to shower,” he said, walking past Magnus. He fled to the bathroom and closed the door, locking it. He leaned against the door and closed his eyes, taking deep breaths to calm himself down.  
Once a little calmer, he turned the shower on and finally undressed, getting out of the most uncomfortable garments. He stepped under the warm water and felt his body relax, his muscles letting go of its tense position. He sighed, letting all of the day wash over him.  
Magnus wondered if Alec really was okay, but for now, he let the boy be. He sighed, straightening out his clothes. He had definitely not expected Alec to kiss him, especially not that intensely. Perhaps Alec was finally realising that it was okay to be himself. He hoped so. Alec deserved all the best. He was such a good boy. Magnus hoped Alec realised that now, that he was worthy of being loved.  
The warlock decided to call Raphael, the current clan leader of the biggest vampire clan. The vampire that had assaulted Alec was part of that clan, and he knew Raphael would punish the man appropriately. He grabbed his phone and dialled the number, then put the device to his ear.  
“Hello?” Raphael answered.  
“With me, Magnus,” he said.  
“Ah. I suppose you’re calling because of a certain vampire,” Raphael mused.  
“Yes,” Magnus said. He sighed, and opened the balcony door. He stepped outside and looked over the people bustling around the city. “I want him punished, accordingly.”  
“I understand,” Raphael said. “And he will. You know that, Magnus. We’ve been friends ever since you found me and helped me.”  
Magnus chuckled. “Ah, yes,” he said, remembering it so well. “Well, it was your mother anyway who came to me for help. But yeah. Let me know how it goes.”  
“Obviously,” Raphael said. “Anyway, is that all you’re calling about?”  
Magnus sighed. “You know Alec,” he mumbled.  
“Ah, of course I do. You quite like talking about him,” Raphael said with a laugh. “Anyway, what about him?”  
“He kissed me,” Magnus said. He leaned against the balcony edge and closed his eyes. That image would forever be burned into his mind, as well as the feeling. And it worried him.  
“Did he now,” Raphael said. “Or did you kiss him?”  
“I take the lead most of the time but it was all him now,” Magnus mumbled.  
“Well, isn’t that good then?”  
Magnus groaned. “Normally, yes. But you know Alec. He’s closed off, his parents drilled certain thoughts into him. Who knows what he’ll think of himself now?”  
“Calm down,” Raphael said. “Just wait, perhaps he’s finally coming to terms with himself.”  
“You’re right,” Magnus said. He felt a little calmer now. “Thanks.”  
“You’re welcome. Now, let me get to punishing.”  
The call was ended.  
Magnus tucked his phone away and sighed. Although he was a little calmer, he still felt very uncertain. He wasn’t sure how Alec was going to be around him now, what this meant for their relationship. But it was no use fussing about it right now. He’d just have to wait and see.  
He walked back inside and looked around his apartment. Today had been a whirlwind for sure. Suddenly he saw a message at his door. He walked over and picked it up, folding open the letter.  
“Dear friend,  
We need to talk in person about this. We both know Lightwood’s family history is long and treacherous. But he needs to know, and it sounds like he needs to know soon. We need to meet tomorrow at noon. You know where.  
Kindly,  
Brother Zachariah.”  
Magnus folded the letter and made it go up in flame. At least he now had an answer from Brother Zachariah. He was glad that the Silent Brother had agreed to a meeting. The Brother was right. The Lightwood’s history was a long and difficult one. And the warlock feared for the Shadowhunters once they got to know that Alec came from a long line of Shadowhunters, even though they’d been erased from it. The Shadowhunters were in desperate need of new blood, considering that so many of them had died and so little of them were left nowadays. Alec could be a valuable member, as well as his other three strippers.  
He sighed and closed his eyes. It was a future he’d rather not think about. If the Shadowhunters ever found out, he could be executed on sight. If his four strippers would be taken and turned into Shadowhunters, he knew he would never see them again. They’d be taught to hate Downworlders. Alec would never be with him again.  
Alec shut the water off and dried himself off, before wrapping the towel around his waist. He looked into the mirror and saw the red ring around his neck. It was ugly and would probably darken to a blue and green colour by the morning. He sighed and unlocked the door, stepping out of the bathroom. He saw Magnus seated on the couch, half full glass in his hand.  
“Make me one,” Alec said, sitting down on the couch beside him.  
Magnus snapped his fingers and a glass appeared in Alec’s hand. Alec took a sip and let the alcohol burn down his throat for a second, before putting the glass down. “You look troubled.”  
Magnus chuckled. “I’m certain I’m not as troubled as you are,” he said, looking at the boy.  
Alec shrugged. “I’m fine,” he said. And he wasn’t, he knew. But that didn’t matter. He didn’t want to admit that he was this troubled at all. He would be fine as long as he told himself that he was fine. There was nothing else to it. Not necessary to confront himself with what happened and his feelings around it.  
He grabbed his glass and took another sip.  
“Alexander,” Magnus said, a little worried. “You need to deal with what happened,” he said. “It’s not fun, and very confronting. But it is necessary.”  
Alec shrugged and downed his glass. “I really don’t care for dealing with it,” he said. “It happened, move on.”  
“What about us?” Magnus asked, looking down into his glass now. He wasn’t sure how to feel about what happened between them because he was afraid of Alec’s reaction.  
Alec looked at Magnus. “You told me you loved me,” he said. “I assume you mean in a romantic way, considering you kissed me back.” He was uncertain how to phrase his sentence, his thoughts. His mother’s voice echoed through his mind telling him how unnatural it would be for him to kiss men, and yet he wanted to do it again. Because he and Magnus seemed to fit so well together, against each other. And it was a distraction for what the vampire had done to him. At least he could imagine Magnus doing it, and be fine with it, instead of the vampire.  
The thought of the vampire touching him made him nauseous, still. Made him want to throw up, empty his stomach.  
Magnus sighed and looked up at Alec. “I hope you don’t feel forced, or anything. I really didn’t mean it if you did.”  
“I didn’t,” Alec said, looking at Magnus. “I’ve been wanting to do that for a while. But now… At least I can imagine that it’s you, and not him. Though…” He frowned, trying to form the words to say what he meant to say. “I still hear my mother’s voice in my head, telling me it’s not okay and…”  
“But it is,” Magnus reassured him. “Alexander, it’s natural and okay.”  
The boy nodded and remained otherwise quiet.  
“But other than that, we need to talk,” Magnus said, “we need to talk.”  
“We are,” Alec said, suddenly confused.  
“About something else. About your parents,” Magnus said. He stood up and started pacing lightly. “I’m meeting with a Silent Brother tomorrow and I want you to come along. It’s time for you to know about your past,” he said.  
“Does that concern you? If I knew about my past?” Alec asked, getting up. He walked over to Magnus and turned the warlock around.  
“It does,” Magnus admitted. “It does quite a bit.”  
“Why?”  
Magnus sighed and looked down. “Because I’m afraid that you’re being taken away from me,” he admitted.  
“Why?” Alec took Magnus’s hands and looked at him. He wasn’t the one to confront people about their feelings. He wasn’t the one to ask them about it, because he hated talking about his own feelings. But somehow he felt like he needed to. He didn’t understand why Magnus was so afraid.  
“You’ll know tomorrow,” the warlock said, looking up at Alec. “Once you know your past, you are free to go and do as you like. But also know that you’re always welcome here,” he said.  
“That sounds cryptic,” Alec said with a roll of his eyes.  
Magnus chuckled and smiled. “Warlocks are known for that, it seems.”  
Alec smiled as well, then took a step back. “Okay,” he said. He stifled a yawn, feeling exhaustion creeping up on him now.  
“You need sleep,” Magnus said. “Go to bed.”  
Alec nodded and drooped off to the spare bedroom that had once been his, was still his, technically, since all his stuff was there still. He flopped down onto bed, curled up and fell asleep pretty much instantly.  
Magnus closed the balcony door and sighed. Perhaps he should retreat for the night as well. The warlock rolled his shoulders and went to bed as well. Tomorrow would be an exhausting day as well no doubt. And he wasn’t exactly sure if he wanted Alec to know the truth. But it was time.  
The warlock fell asleep quickly once settled into bed.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Having no clear paragraphs has been really bothering me so we're back to clear paragraphs with empty lines in between. Pls don't kill me. I love you. <3

Magnus was pacing in the living room of his loft. He was nervous, something he wasn’t often. Last night had been a rush. He wasn’t sure how Alec was doing. He’d be meeting with Brother Zachariah in a bit together with Alec. Suddenly it seemed like his entire life was upside down.

Alec emerged from his bedroom, dressed and ready. He stopped, leaned against the doorway and watched Magnus pace. He knew Magnus was troubled. He himself was troubled as well. Things seemed hectic and tense between them at the moment. Alec knew partly why, partly didn’t know why. But this meeting seemed very important and stressful to Magnus. And he worried about that. He wondered if he would finally get to know the truth about his parents. 

He cleared his throat.

Magnus turned to Alec. “How long have you been standing there?” he asked.

“Long enough to know you’re very… troubled.” Alec crossed his arms over his chest and cocked his head. “Are you sure you want to go through with this?”

“You want to know the truth, don’t you?” Magnus asked, raising an eyebrow. “Or does it suddenly not matter anymore.”

“Of course it does,” Alec defended himself. “But not enough to see you this upset and worried. I can let it go if it means not having you freak out.”

Alec suddenly felt quite mature in that. For the past five years, he’d been begging Magnus to tell him everything. And Magnus had refused time and again. But now that Alec was finally going to find out, seeing Magnus like this, he wasn’t sure if it was worth it. He really didn’t want Magnus to have an entire meltdown or something.

“I’m not,” Magnus said and shrugged. He wiggled his fingers and looked at Alec. “Anyway, are you ready to go? We have quite some distance to cover and only a few minutes to get there.”

“I’m ready,” Alec said. Partly true, partly lied. He did want to find out what had happened in the past. But he was also terrified. Seeing Magnus this anxious wasn’t a good sign to him. 

Magnus created a portal. He took Alec’s hand and together they stepped through the portal and appeared on the other side. The portal closed behind them.

London, and Blackfriars Bridge, had changed. And yet so much was still the same. The skies were still full of dark grey clouds. Big buildings still rose above the city. But everything was so much more modern now. Instead of horses and carriages there were cars, people with mobile phones. But Magnus remembered how it used to be. He smiled at those fond memories. Of a young Will Herondale coming to him with a curse. Of a parabatai pair doomed to lose each other. Of a young Jem Carstairs addicted to yin fen and slowly dying. Of Tessa, so strong and stubborn and so in love with both Jem and Will.

Those were quite the good times back then. Except, perhaps, the automatons that had almost killed all the Shadowhunters. And that’s where Alec’s story started, even way, way, before he was born.

_“So, old friend,”_ a voice said.

Magnus turned around and laid eyes on a hooded figure. A hooded figure he knew but too well. He smiled and nodded his head in greeting. 

Alec, who had been looking at all the sights, turned and looked at the hooded figure as well. He didn’t know who the figure was. He had heard about hooded figures that used to be Shadowhunters. They were called the Silent Brothers, because they didn’t speak. However they did communicate. Whoever they directed their voice at could hear it in their head.

The figure reached his hands up and moved his hood back. A pale face came from it. _“It’s good to see you, Magnus. I see you’ve brought the boy as well. Any reason?”_

“Well, he deserved to know what has happened in his past,” Magnus said.

_”Very true,”_ Brother Zachariah said.

Alec was quite confused how he could hear the person’s voice without the person actually talking. He was quite disturbed by it though. He didn’t understand how Magnus could know this figure. But then, Magnus was a few hundred years old. So it made sense in that way.

_”My name is Brother Zachariah,”_ the figure spoke. _”But before I became a Silent Brother, I was known as Jem, or James, Carstairs. And I had a parabatai, Will Herondale. We were Shadowhunters residing at the London Institute. We were at war back then, the 1870s. And your family was part of it.”_

Magnus glanced at Alec and saw the confusion in his eyes. He placed a hand on the boy’s shoulder, but Alec shrugged it off.

“What do you mean, my family was part of it?” Alec asked.

_”Your family were Shadowhunters, Alec. The Lightwoods were a well-known and powerful Shadowhunter family. However, they were banned. They were deruned. Benedict Lightwood was in league with the Magister, someone who was trying to destroy all of the Shadowhunters with his automatons. Benedict’s wife had died from Demon Pox. And he had it too. At some point he turned into a demon. That is the last stage of Demon Pox. My parabatai was delighted then. But it meant big consequences for the Lightwoods. The remaining sons, Gabriël and Gideon, and the daughter, Tatiana, were deruned and banned from the Shadowhunters. But your family has continued on living, trying to join. And you, Alec, were their key.”_

Alec took a step back, trying to process that information. So he was supposed to be a Shadowhunter. He didn’t understand. He didn’t understand why his family, his parents, wanted him to be a Shadowhunter. Magnus had always warned them about it. Shadowhunters were cold-blooded killers. They were set on destroying demons and anything with demon blood, including vampires or warlocks. They didn’t seem like a good people. 

“Why?” Alec asked.

_”When you were about five,”_ Brother Zachariah started, _”you opened a little box. This box contained a demon spirit. It had been in your family’s possessions ever since they were deruned. However, you not only freed the demon spirit, you killed it. But not before your parents were there, and not before you were cursed, so to say.”_

And this all felt a little familiar to Brother Zachariah and Magnus. Because Brother Zachariah had gone through this before. His parabatai back then, Will Herondale, had done something similar. Released a demon spirit who had cursed him. Yet demon spirits that had just been released were not strong enough to cast curses. Will Herondale didn’t know back then. And neither did the Lightwoods.

_”The curse was false, but your parents didn’t know. The curse went as this. ‘By the time you turn 12, you will watch your parents, and the remaining of your family, die. Everyone who grows close to you in anyway will meet their demise because of you.’ Your mother had become sick. So they believed the curse. Magnus tried to tell your parents that the curse wasn’t true. But he couldn’t.”_

Alec turned to Magnus and narrowed his eyes. “So you’ve know all this time and didn’t tell me? I could have gone to them! Could have shown them that it wasn’t true!”

“Alexander,” Magnus said gently. “I tried to convince your parents that the curse wasn’t true. But they begged me to take you. They begged me to take you and when you turned 18, to turn you over to the Shadowhunters and leave you to whatever faith.”

“So that’s been your plan then?” Alec asked. “Milking as much money out of me and then hand me over to those… Those people.”

“I was never going to hand you over,” Magnus said. “Alexander, when I took you in, I knew then already that I could never give you to the Shadowhunters.”

Alec shook his head and turned back to Brother Zachariah. “So the curse is false. I can go see my parents and nothing will happen to them?”

_”No, nothing will happen to them. But if you go see them, all they’ll want is for you to join the Shadowhunters and restore their family name.”_ Brother Zachariah watched the turmoil in the boy’s eyes and wished he could reassure him. But, he had to go back to the Silent City before the Silent Brothers knew he was gone.

Magnus nodded at the Silent Brother, who drew his hood back up and walked away. He turned to Alec and sighed. “Alexander, for as long as you’ve been with me, I’ve only tried to do good by you. To raise you well.”

Alec stared at the warlock. So all this time he could have known his parents. Magnus could have told him and everything would have been fine. But now, that opportunity was gone. Suddenly he felt quite lost, like he didn’t know what to do now. He was an underage stripper in a popular strip club. Yesterday hadn’t been pretty. And now he had nowhere to go.

“What you said yesterday, that you were in love with me, was that just to keep me with you?” Alec asked.

“No,” Magnus said. “I wouldn’t lie about that. I do love you, Alec.”

Alec shook his head. “Can I still join the Shadowhunters?” he asked.

He wasn’t sure if he was actually considering it. His parents seemed to have wanted him to join. Perhaps, now that he knew the truth, it was time to honour his parents. Perhaps if he joined the Shadowhunters, he could still redeem himself and his parents. He could bring honour back to his family, to the Lightwood name. Just as his parents wanted him to. He could then go and find them and show them that he became what they had wanted him to become.

“You could,” Magnus answered quietly.

This was exactly what he had been afraid of. Alec going off to join the Shadowhunters. This was why Magnus kept himself closed off to feelings. Because once he got close to people, he lost them. And he really didn’t want to lose Alec.

“What about the others? Izzy, Jace, Clary?” Alec asked. He suddenly wondered if they were Shadowhunters too.

Magnus sighed and looked at Alec. “They, too, come from long lines of Shadowhunter families who were deruned and banned.”

Alec clenched his fists. “Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked.

“Because…” Magnus looked at the boy, saw the anger in his eyes. “Because, I was afraid to lose you, Alexander. Once you join the Shadowhunters, you’ll be going after Downworlders, like me. Hell, they may even sent you after me as your first mission, to kill me. That is all they want, to kill Downworlders and demons. You’ll never be able to contact me again, not as a friend anyway.”

Alec thought about that. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to give that up. But yet the fact that Magnus had lied to him… Alec didn’t know what to do. He was well and truly lost now. The others at least deserved to know, though.

“Alexander, let’s go back to my loft and you can think about it. If you want to go, I won’t stop you,” Magnus said. “But you need to think about it.”

Alec looked at Magnus. Perhaps the warlock was telling the truth. If he dived head-in first now, he could lose everything he had. And he didn’t want that. He nodded.

Magnus created the portal and they both stepped through it. They appeared back in Magnus’s loft. Alec looked around, went for his bedroom door and stepped inside. He closed the door before Magnus could say something and locked the door. Then he slid down to the ground and closed his eyes. He didn’t know what to do now. He wanted to seek out his parents and ask them if what he was told was true. He needed to tell his friends. He wanted to get away from Magnus, even though they had been doing so well now. Alec was finally starting to get over his fear of his sexuality. And now he could flush that all down the drain because he didn’t know if he could trust Magnus anymore.

Everything was such a gigantic mess and Alec wondered if he’d ever be okay. If he left and became a Shadowhunter he would be betraying Magnus. Magnus had taken care of him ever since that faithful day and leaving him now would be cruel. But he wasn’t sure what else to do, what other options he had. Stay here and continue to strip? Try and find a normal job?

Magnus looked at the door Alec had gone through and shut. He raked a hand through his hair and strode over to the balcony. He shoved the balcony door open and stepped outside into the light. New Yorkers were going about their day as usual. They always were. Always so unaware of the dangers lurking in the shadows. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

For once, Magnus found himself quite lost indeed. Alec seemed to be shutting himself away from him. He couldn’t necessarily blame the boy, but it hurt anyway. He finally booked progress last night and now that was gone. And his heart hurt. Because he knew there was a real chance he was about to lose Alec. And that was a scenario he’d rather not go through. He loved the boy. He’d admitted it yesterday. And he didn’t want to lose him. He couldn’t lose Alec.

The warlock clenched his fists. This entire situation seemed impossible now. He knew he should have never taken Alec with him, should have never told him the truth. It wasn’t going to do Alec any good. And it wasn’t going to do him any good. Sounds selfish maybe.

Magnus opened his eyes and looked out over the city. Perhaps it was time to pack up his stuff and move elsewhere. It seemed his life was going to be in shambles anyway. Why stay here when you could move pretty much anywhere you’d like. Perks of being a fairly rich, powerful warlock. Nothing was off limits to him.

But he didn’t really want to. He’d have to set up a new life somewhere else, even though he was quite content here. New York had really grown on him throughout the ages. It had flourished into a beautiful city. And it felt like home. It was home. And Magnus didn’t really want to leave that behind. He was good with running his club as well.

And yet, if Alec decided to become a Shadowhunter, Magnus may not have another choice. If Alec told them that he’d been raised by a warlock for the past five years, Magnus would have a target on his head. A target that would be fulfilled by Alec. They would twist the boy into the most cold-blooded killer he could be. Force him to shut off emotions. Emotions were nothing but a distraction to Shadowhunters. They did things first, and then asked questions later.

Quite a few of his friends had been killed by Shadowhunters. He didn’t blame them entirely. It wasn’t their fault necessarily that their believes were so old-fashioned. Shadowhunters were conservative and didn’t like change. So they let Downworlders be as long as Downworlders kept to the Accords. And so far Magnus had, until he took in Alec. He broke the Accords then and he knew it. But it had been fine. Until now. Everything was being messed up and he hated it. Just when things were finally going well for him, it had to be ruined.

Nothing good was ever going to last for him.

The warlock went back inside. The door behind which Alec had vanished was still shut. Magnus wondered if knocking and asking the kid if he was okay was a good choice. Probably not. He whipped out his phone as he sat himself down into a lounge chair. He texted Jace, Clary and Izzy that the club would be closed tonight. He didn’t want to throw it open tonight, not with the possibility of Alec leaving. He was becoming an emotional mess.

Magnus vowed then to never let anyone else ever get close to him again. He’d rather not feel anything for anyone than have to deal with the aftermath of losing someone. He’d already lost too many people close to him. And he thought he’d learned from those mistakes. Magnus was old. He’d known so many who were mortal, whereas Magnus was immortal. And he’d lost so many. Life was unfair and it was always going to be unfair. And he knew that. Yet, if he shut himself off from emotions he knew he’d grow old and bitter and whither away. Not really something he was looking forward to either. He’d known quite some warlocks who had gone down that path. It hadn’t been pretty. And he didn’t want that.

He sighed and locked his phone, putting it away. Instead, he vowed to himself to just stare at Alec’s door until the boy came out, then tell him to stay. Or force him to stay. Whatever worked. Even if it meant tying Alec to a chair. He would if he had to. Alec was his. And only his. And no one was allowed to take him away. Magnus wouldn’t let that happen. Especially not after last night.

No. He couldn’t let Alec leave. Wouldn’t let the boy leave and join some heartless terror gang. Alec was his. It sounded possessive, sure. But that didn’t matter. He’d raised the boy. He knew the boy felt what he felt for the boy. And there was no way he was going to let Alec walk now.

Hours passed it seemed. Magnus grew bored. He picked at his nails. Thought of redecorating the place. Perhaps get some takeout. But instead, he just continued staring at the door until it opened.

Alec pulled his jacket on as he opened the door. He tucked his phone in the back pocket of his jeans and stepped outside, closing the door behind him. Then he found a pair of eyes on him.

“I’m going for a walk,” Alec said, heading for the door.

Magnus stood up swiftly and gently grabbed the boy’s arm. “Where are you going?”

“Just… Just a few blocks. I need to clear my head.” Alec looked at Magnus and saw the worry in his eyes. “Please, Magnus. I’ll be back, okay? I’ll text you.”

Magnus sighed. He knew he couldn’t keep the boy here. He let go and nodded. “Just please come back indeed. We can talk about it, okay? I’ll be honest from now on.”

Alec nodded. “Okay. See you later.” He opened the door, stepped outside and shut the door. Then he left, heading out onto the street.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angst is incoming.

Simon’s place was grand, to say the least. Isabelle looked around as she stood in the living room. There were high windows letting in the day’s light. A black leather couch fit to sit five or six people. A wooden coffee table. A very large tv. She’d never seen such a big tv before. The walls were cream coloured. The floor wooden and well-kept.

“You like it?” Simon asked, looking at the young woman.

Izzy turned to Simon and smiled. “I do. It’s gorgeous.” She wasn’t sure how expensive Simon’s place was. But she could take a guess. He must be fairly rich.

Simon smiled and took her hand. He guided her to the kitchen. The kitchen was large, equipped with a cooking island as well and a small bar. She sat down onto one of the bar stools and looked at Simon as he opened the fridge.

“I don’t get a whole lot of human visitors, so I don’t have a lot to drink. Hopefully you do enjoy wine,” Simon said, closing the fridge and turning to Izzy. He held a bottle of wine in his hand. He grabbed two glasses from the cabinet and put them down onto the bar. He filled both the glasses and smiled at her.

Izzy giggled. She felt quite giddy. She know, logically wise, that Simon may not have the best intentions with her. But right now, she didn’t really care. She was interested in getting to know him. And he seemed quite interested in getting to know her.

“So,” Simon said as he took a sip. “What made you decide to become a stripper?”

Izzy shrugged. “I needed a job,” she said simply. She smiled at him. “What about you? What do you do for a living? Must be something interesting, considering this place.” She waved a hand in every direction.

“Well,” Simon said, putting his glass down. “I deal in mundane blood.”

Izzy coughed and looked at him. She swallowed, feeling nervous now.

“Ah, don’t worry,” Simon said with a reassuring smile. “No one gets killed. You see, we vampires need blood. Quite a few clans just kill mundanes. I have found something different. There’s a few clubs around town where mundanes come. These mundanes willingly give some blood, as payment for entering the club. They have a good time. We have blood.”

Isabelle thought about that. She supposed that seemed fair, since the mundanes were willing. She knew there were vampires that loved hunting and killing mundanes. She knew the Downworld was quite a dangerous place. Magnus had warned all of them to stay away from Downworlders. And yet here she was.

“Seems fair,” she said, taking a sip from her wine. “How come you go about in the daylight, though? I thought vampires weren’t supposed to be able to go about in the daylight.”

Simon chuckled. “I’m a Daylighter, as they say.”

“And how does one become a Daylighter?” Izzy asked.

“Well, you drain a Shadowhunter. Nephilim blood is incredibly powerful. If you drink all of it, you become a Daylighter.” Simon shrugged. 

“So you killed a Shadowhunter then?” Izzy asked, guarded again.

“I did. Long ago.” Simon sighed. “I’ve never killed anyone else. That’s why I started dealing in mundane blood. So that vampires would stop killing mundanes.”

Izzy nodded. She looked down into her glass. The liquid was close to the colour of blood, just a little darker. She wondered what it was like to be a vampire. Not that she was very eager to find out. She had no plans to become a Downworlder. She liked her mundane life. She wanted to keep it that way.

“Anyway, let’s not talk about sinister things.” Simon chugged back his glass of wine and smiled at her. “Do you have any hobbies?”

Izzy grinned. “I dance, obviously. I work out a few times a week. I like shopping.” That last one seemed typically girly. But it was the truth. Izzy really did like shopping. And with the money that Magnus was paying them, she could afford to go shopping quite a few times. “What about you?”

“Reading,” Simon said. “And watching series, probably.”

Izzy giggled and finished her wine as well. Simon filled up her glass. She took another sip. She was about to ask him something, when her phone buzzed. She took it out of her purse and saw it was Alec calling her.

“I’ll be right back,” she said, sliding off of the bar stool. She took some distance from Simon and answered the call. “Hey Alec,” she said cheerfully.

“Hey Izzy,” Alec said, sounding quite upset. “We need to talk. You, Clary and Jace and me. Magnus had been hiding things from us. And you have the right to know.”

Izzy frowned. She looked at Simon, who was busying himself with studying his fingers, it seemed. She turned back. “What do you mean?”

Alec sighed. “Just… Meet me at the diner we used to go to in the beginning. We’ll order dinner and I’ll tell you everything.”

“But I’m at Simon’s,” Izzy mumbled. She didn’t really want to leave the vampire. She was having such a good time. But it seemed urgent, she could hear it. “Okay. I’ll be there in an hour.”

“Okay, see you then.” Alec hung up.

Izzy looked at her phone for a minute. She wasn’t sure what Magnus was hiding. The warlock had his reasons for telling them, or not telling them, things. He was old and wise and he knew a lot more than she did. Than any of them did. But she was really curious towards what Alec had found out. She wanted to know. After all, if it was about her, she had the right to know. That’s how she thought anyway.

She turned back and walked back over to Simon. She climbed back onto the stool and took a sip from her wine. “I’ll have to go in a few minutes,” she explained. “It’s urgent.”

Simon looked at her. Disappointment flashed across his face for a second, but he smiled it away and nodded. “It’s all good,” he said. “I’ll take you back home.”

“That would be lovely,” Izzy said. She finished her wine and grabbed her purse. Simon offered her his arm, and she took it gratefully. Together, they walked arm in arm back towards Izzy’s apartment. She enjoyed this. She really liked Simon. Once they had arrived, she turned to him and quickly pecked his lips. “I’ll text you,” she said and headed inside.

Once inside, she decided to change into something more comfortable. She’d been wearing a nice dress and high heels for Simon. But it didn’t seem appropriate for her meeting with Alec. Something more comfortable would do. Jeans, a tshirt, sweater and sneakers. She tucked her phone in her pocket as well as her keys and wallet. She sighed and left, heading for the diner.  
\-----   
Clary rubbed a towel over her wet hair, trying to get it to dry a little. She sighed, and wrapped the fabric around the top of her chest before leaving the bathroom. She walked into the bedroom and got dressed in jeans and a tanktop. She looked towards the bed and saw Jace asleep. She smiled at that.

Jace had been busy all night last night, doing god-knows-what. She’d woken up to an empty bed in the morning. Jace had returned later that morning. Clary hadn’t asked what had gone down. She’d just fed him and laid him to bed. He had been asleep instantly.

Clary tiptoed herself to the kitchen and opened the fridge. She was quite absent-minded these days. She wasn’t exactly sure why. She felt like something wasn’t entirely right, like something was about to go down. She wouldn’t know what. She and Jace lived a quiet life. They kept to themselves, mostly. Did their nights at the club. But other than that, they didn’t do a lot. They just enjoyed their quiet evenings.

She took out chicken breast and cut it into pieces. She turned the heat on on the stove and threw the chicken breast in it along with some oil. She poured some salt and pepper over the chunks of meat and stirred occasionally. She got a big pan, filled it with water and put it on the stove, waiting for the water to boil.

Clary stood on her tiptoes as she opened a cabinet. She pulled out tomato paste as well as sugar and honey. She mixed that with the chicken breast and took a quick taste. Then she smiled. She threw the noodles into the boiling water and waited for those to soften. Once they were soft enough, she poured them into the pan with the chicken breast.

She shut off the fire on the stove and smiled, taking in the smell.

“What are you cooking?” Jace asked as he walked into the kitchen.

“Dinner,” Clary said and giggled as a hand wrapped around her waist. “What woke you up?”

“The smell,” Jace admitted. His stomach growled on cue, and he rolled his eyes. “I’m quite starving, if I’m being honest.”

“Well, luckily you have someone who loves you and takes care of you.” Clary turned around in his embrace and looked up at Jace. She smiled, reached up to kiss him, before turning back and grabbing two plates. She scooped the food onto the two plates, grabbed two forks, and guided Jace to the couch. The two of them sat down and dug in.

Jace was forever grateful for Clary. She always knew what to do, or what to say, to keep him going. And she was a good cook. He was so lucky he’d found her and he wouldn’t trade her for the world. She was his world. He loved her and she loved him. And he knew that was never going to change.

They had the night off. Magnus had texted them. Jace had an idea why. He knew what had happened to Alec yesterday. It had shocked him, to say the least. He had never imagined something like that would happen to any of his friends. He knew one thing. If anyone touched Clary in such a way he would absolutely murder them.

His phone rang. He groaned, putting the plate down and rushing for the phone in his bedroom. He scooped it up and answered the call.

“Hey Alec,” he said.

“Hey Jace,” Alec answered. “Can you meet me and Izzy at the diner?” he asked.

“Well, we just started dinner,” Jace said as he headed back to the living room. He sat back down onto the couch and put the phone on speaker.

“Well, it’s important,” Alec said, sounding insecure. Perhaps even a little scared. “Magnus had been hiding secrets from us. Secrets you deserve to know.”

Jace looked at Clary, who frowned. She put her plate down. “Alec, what is this about?”

“Just come, please. Dinner will be on me.” Alec sounded quite desperate. For a guy who shielded his emotions and generally didn’t show any, hearing him like this was quite a different experience. 

“Sure,” Clary said. “How late?”

“Can you make it in about 50 minutes?” Alec asked.

“Of course we can,” Jace said. “We’ll be there.”

“Thanks.” 

The call disconnected.

Jace looked at Clary and raised an eyebrow. “I wonder what’s up with him,” he said. He was worried about his friend. He didn’t know a whole lot about Alec. But he knew enough to know that Alec was acting strange.

“Well, it involves Magnus,” she said with a wink. “Maybe they’ll finally announce their marriage.” She joked. But she knew it was serious. She sighed, getting up and grabbing their two plates. “You should shower and get dressed.”

Jace nodded, getting up as well. He headed for the shower.

Clary put the plates in the sink after storing the food in the fridge. She sighed, really wondering what was going on. She couldn’t really imagine Magnus hiding anything major from them. He seemed kind and caring. The warlock seemed to always be looking out for them. And she quite appreciated that. But Magnus had also been mysterious. Always seemed to be hiding something. She knew he was hiding his love for Alec. But now…

The girl sighed and put on her sneakers. She really wondered what was going on. She didn’t like this at all.

Jace left the bathroom after a quick shower and got dressed. He took his phone and keys and then Clary’s hand, and together they left their apartment, heading to the diner. He whistled as they walked, enjoying the cooling breeze. Soon it would be winter and everything would be cold. But for now, summer was holding on just a tad bit still.

They walked quietly, just enjoying each other’s company. They were a regular couple, like so many others you’d find out in the streets. No one bothered to look at them. And they didn’t look at anyone else. They spotted Izzy waiting outside the diner in the distance.

“Hey!” Clary said, letting go of Jace’s hand and skipping towards Izzy.

Izzy turned around and smiled, hugging Clary once she was in reach. She let go. “Hey,” she said. “So Alec called you too, huh.”

“Yeah,” Jace said, catching up. “Do you know why?”

“Just that it involves secrets.” Izzy shrugged and leaned against the wall behind her. “I really don’t know much else. I know as much as you two, probably.”

Clary sighed. “He sounded really distressed on the phone,” she said. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard him like that.”

Izzy checked her phone then. It was still a few minutes. The three of them waited outside the diner for Alec to show up. But time passed by. No sign of Alec. After an hour of waiting, Izzy checked her phone again. There were no messages or missed calls.

“Where is he?” Jace asked. “If this is a jok-“

“This is not a joke,” Izzy said and shot him a glare. She dialled Alec’s number and put her phone to her ear. The phone rang several times, before going to voicemail. She tried again, but no luck.

“He’s not answering his phone.” Worry coiled in the pit of her stomach. She wondered if Alec was okay. Maybe something had happened to him.

“We should call Magnus,” Clary suggested.

“Yeah,” Izzy said. She dialled Magnus’s phone number and put the phone on speaker.

“Yeah,” Magnus answered.

“Magnus, is Alec there by any chance?” Clary asked.

“No,” Magnus answered. “He left a few hours ago. Said he went for a walk.”

“Well, he called us,” Izzy explained. “And told us to meet him at the diner. But it’s been an hour and he hasn’t shown up. He’s not answering his phone, either.”

“Okay,” Magnus said, pacing now. “Just wait right there. I’ll be there in a minute.” The call was ended.

“This can’t be good,” Jace mumbled.

Magnus appeared through a portal, which closed behind him. He looked at the three standing outside the diner. “Why did he call you to meet up?”

“Something about secrets that you’re hiding from us,” Clary said softly. She smiled apologetically at him.

Magnus sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “I’ll explain those later. We must find Alec first.” He checked his phone, but Alec hadn’t left any messages or called him. So he did something else. He opened a GPS tracking app and selected Alec’s phone.

The boy was nearby. Or at least, the phone was. He frowned, staring at it.

“What’s wrong?” Izzy asked.

“Well, he’s close.” Magnus turned and headed into the direction where Alec’s phone was supposed to be. Izzy, Jace and Clary followed him.

Magnus was out of his mind with worry. He knew something was wrong. Something wasn’t right. And he didn’t know what. But he knew it was bad. Alec not responding to messages or calls was unlike him. Even after the fight they had, Alec had texted him several times when he had left. But then he’d grown quiet indeed. Magnus had been pacing all afternoon, waiting for a text, a call, waiting for Alec to come through the door and return home. But he never had.

He stopped in front of an alley. He signalled for the others to wait and stepped into the alley. There he found Alec’s phone. The screen was cracked. Magnus picked it up and walked back to the other three. He tried to turn on the phone, but it seemed to have gone dead.

Worry brewed in his belly. He looked around. “Damnit,” he cursed. He had to calm himself down. He looked at Izzy, Jace and Clary. “Let’s head back to my apartment,” he said.

They stepped through the portal that Magnus created and appeared in the warlock’s apartment. Magnus immediately took distance as he started calling everyone, enlisting anyone he could think to try and track down Alec. If something had happened to the boy, he would never forgive himself for it.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: oral rape.

Magnus is pacing through the entire apartment as he’s trying to think. His mind is clouded in worry for Alec, which makes thinking pretty much impossible. He’s tried tracking the boy, but with no result. And he doesn’t know why. His tracking is good, one of the best, actually. Shadowhunters come to him for tracking every once in a while. Yet right now, it’s not working. Nothing is working. No one knows where the boy is and no one has been able to find him so far.

He doesn’t know how to deal with this. He’s always prided on keeping his friends close and safe. And yet he couldn’t protect the one person that he loved so much. He feels horrible for it as well. The warlock is drained by the time he sinks into the couch and puts his head in his hands. It’s like he’s lost all hope.

“Magnus,” Izzy said softly, sitting down besides the warlock. “Perhaps if you tell us what Alec wanted to tell us, we can help.”

Magnus thinks about that. Obviously they have a right to know. And yet he doesn’t really want to tell them. He didn’t want to tell Alec. But things never stay secret.

He sighed and nodded. “Sit down,” he said to the other two still standing around.

Once Clary and Jace had taken their seats, Magnus looked up from the floor and stared ahead into space. “This morning, I went with Alec to meet up with someone. His name is Brother Zachariah. But I used to know him as Jem. Jem Carstairs was a Shadowhunters addicted to yin fen. And nothing could cure him off it. He needed it to stay alive, but it was also slowly killing him. He had a friend, a parabatai, named Will Herondale.”

Magnus closed his eyes as he thought back to that time period. Back to Tessa and her struggles the moment she arrived in the UK. To Will and his curse. To Jem, so gentle and kind, doing his very best to help his parabatai and Tessa.

“There was a war going on back then. Somewhere in the late 1800s. A war that was luckily won, but also had many fatalities. Alec comes from a long line of Shadowhunters. And his parents had hoped for him to join the Shadowhunters once he became 18. Not exactly standard, but the Shadowhunters are currently desperate for new blood. His family was banished from the Shadowhunters after the war. So were the Herondales.” 

Magnus looked at Jace. “You’re a Herondale, Jace. You too, come from a long line of Shadowhunters. As do you, Clary. And you, Izzy.”

“So, we’re Shadowhunters?” Izzy asked, confused.

Magnus shook his head. “Not anymore. But you could be. You could walk up to the New York Institute right now and they’ll take anyone willing to become a Shadowhunter.”

“What the fuck?” Jace stood up and looked at Magnus. “How do you know this?”

“I’ve known Shadowhunters for my entire life,” Magnus explained, looking down. “I know your parents. I know their histories.”

“Jace, calm down,” Clary said, getting up and looking at Jace.

“No!” Jace said. “He’s been hiding secrets from us!”

“With a reason,” Izzy said. “Remember what he told us about Shadowhunters? They’re not exactly friendly.”

“Still!” Jace clenched his fists.

“Jace,” Magnus said, looking at him. “All I did was trying to protect you. Becoming a Shadowhunter is not easy, and it could easily kill you. Shadowhunters don’t become old in general. They constantly face great threats and they’ve been almost wiped out several times. If you want to go and join them, you are welcome to. Just know that I was protecting you. All of you.”

Jace stared at Magnus. He wasn’t exactly sure what to think. He’d heard the horror stories from Magnus. He knew what kind of people Shadowhunters were. Yet he felt betrayed. That was a secret he was supposed to have known, so he could have made his decision. And his parents had never told him either. He didn’t understand why. He could have joined the Shadowhunters, do something more useful with his life then be a stripper for Downworlders. And yet, he wasn’t really angry. This just came out of nowhere, surprised him.

“I don’t see how this relates to Alec’s disappearance, though,” Clary spoke, looking at Magnus. “Could Shadowhunters have taken him?”

“Possibly,” Magnus admitted. “Though I’d highly doubt that.”

Shadowhunters didn’t take random people off the streets. So if they knew Alec and where he had come from, they’d gone after Magnus as well. And Magnus didn’t like that idea.

His phone rang. He pulled it out and answered the call, putting the device to his ear.

“Raphael,” he spoke.

There was some silence as Magnus listened. Then his heart sank. He shook his head. “No,” he said. “You’re joking. If he’s free out there, he has Alec. And if he has Alec…” He didn’t want to think about those odds. 

He nodded eventually and hung up the call. “The vampire from the club has escaped.”

“And he has Alec,” Izzy finished for him. She clenched her fists. “We must be able to find him somehow. Can we enlist the police? Shadowhunters?”

“No,” Magnus said, shaking his head. “Police won’t do anything. Mundanes are not supposed to know about the Downworld. And Shadowhunters… They’ll have my head if they figure out who Alec is.”

“Why?” Jace asked. He had calmed down by now.

“Because warlocks aren’t supposed to have and raise children. It’s against the Law. So me raising Alec would be highly illegal, especially if they figure out Alec comes from a long line of Shadowhunters.” Magnus sighed, frustrated now. With Alec being gone and into the hands of a lunatic, he wasn’t sure if they were ever going to find him again. He had failed.

“We’ll find him,” Clarry assured Magnus. “We will. We’ll search night and day, enlist friends.”

Magnus forced a small smile. “Yeah,” he said. “Why don’t you all go home? We’ll gather tomorrow, maybe I’ll have more info then.”

He waved away the three friends and closed the door once they had left. He sank to the ground, tears filling his eyes. But he refused to let them slip. This was his fault and he was going to fix it. He was going to find Alec, as if his life depended on it.

For him it kind of did, though. Magnus couldn’t live with himself if he never found Alec again. He would always blame himself for his disappearance, for whatever happened to the boy. No, if Alec wasn’t found, he wasn’t sure he could live his life anymore. He’s already lost too many people due to his own mistakes. Losing Alec would mean his own death.

He felt so powerless. The thought of Alec possibly enduring many horrors that he never wished upon anyone was something that made him feel nauseous. Even death was a kinder faith than being put through torture. And he was sure Alec would be facing lots of that under the hands of the vampire that had him. He should have never let the boy go out on his own. He should have killed the vampire when he had the chance. Should have done more to protect Alec.

And yet there was nothing that he could do now but to enlist anyone that he could think of to find the boy. He had already enlisted Ragnor Fell and Catarina, two of his best friends. They’d keep an eye out for the boy. Catarina worked in a hospital, so with a bit of luck Alec turned up in said hospital and the female warlock could warn him.

But the chances were slim, he knew. Especially knowing what he knew now. And even if he got Alec back, in what state? If he suspected the kind of torture that Alec may go through, he wasn’t sure if the boy would ever come back from that.

A shiver ran down his spine. Magnus got up and dragged himself to the bedroom. There was nothing that he could do now. He needed sleep so he could think properly in the morning. He needed all the energy to find Alec. So the warlock disrobed and crawled into bed. He curled up under the covers and closed his eyes, trying his best to fall asleep.

But no matter how he twisted and turned, sleep would not come for him.  
\-----  
The first thing Alec felt as he started waking up was the throbbing in his head. It feels as if he’s drank too much. He also doesn’t really remember much. He remembers walking to the diner, but after that it’s a big black mass of nothing. He wonders what happened, and where he is.

Slowly, Alec cracks open his eyes. Bright light makes him close them immediately though. He groaned, and tries again. Slowly this time. This works better, as his eyes get a little more time to adjust to bright light.

As his eyes adjust, he begins to take in the space he’s in. It’s definitely not a space that he knows. The walls are concrete and bare and grey. There is nothing in this room, except he himself. He wonders where he is, what happened that had him end up here. But it doesn’t feel good. Doesn’t feel right.

Alec brings a hand to his head and feels around until he feels a sticky, slightly wet spot on his forehead at his hairline. He brings his hand to his face and notes his fingers are marked crimson. Blood. He frowned, knowing that means he has been bleeding, and still is, a little. Surely, that’s not a good sign at all.

He decided to sit up. This has his body protesting, but he ignores it and forces himself to sit up straight. He feels dizzy and nauseous, and his head throbs painfully. He noticed a door, and just as he noticed the door, it opened, and a figure appeared in the doorway.

Alec pales entirely. He recognised the person that stepped into the room and closed the door. It was the vampire that had tried to assault him in the club. The one that had failed because Alec had manage to flee just in time. But now he was here, and he had a bad feeling about all of this.

“Ah, finally awake I see,” the vampire said. He smirked. “Good, was about time. I know I knocked you out pretty hard but I hadn’t expected you to stay out of it for so long. Quite boring.”

“Where am I?” Alec asked, forcing himself to get up. He leaned his back against the wall for support as he did so.

“Just in my lair,” the vampire said, and shrugged. “You’re under my roof now. That means my rules.” 

“You can’t keep me here,” Alec yelled. “Magnus will find me and kill you.”

The vampire laughed, long and loud and terrifyingly so. Alec swallowed. He was certain Magnus would be looking for him. The warlock would find him. He was sure of it.

“He’s not going to find you here,” the vampire said, crossing his arms over his chest. “He’s never going to find you ever again. You’re mine now, boy. You’re going to behave, or you’re going to be taught a lesson. Either way, I’ll have my fun.”

Alec shook his head. This couldn’t be happening. This must be a dream, a nightmare. It would be understandable for him to have a nightmare about what happened in the club. This was just his imagination playing a trick on him, it had to be. This simply couldn’t be true.

He felt tears slipping down his face because he knew this was not a dream. He knew this was going to end up bad for him. He was caught now, with nowhere to go.

“Please let me go,” Alec whispered. He blinked, trying to get the tears to stop from streaming down his face. He already felt weak, the vampire didn’t need to see him crying.

“No,” the vampire said. “You’re mine now.”

Within a second, the vampire was on Alec. The boy’s eyes widened as a hand wrapped around his throat, another gathered his wrists up above him. Alec knew better than to fight. He wasn’t strong enough to fight off the vampire anyway.

“Let’s have some house rules. First, you will call me master, or sir,” the vampire said, grinning. “Second, you will only speak when spoken to. Do you understand?”

“Yes,” Alec answered. He cried out as a hand connected to his face, leaving a burning imprint and his head spinning. “Yes, sir,” he gritted out after.

“Good boy,” the vampire praised. “Whenever I enter the room, you will go to your knees and lock your hands behind your back. Show me.”

Alec was let go. He swallowed and slowly sunk to his knees. He placed his hands behind his back and let his fingers entangle in themselves. This was humiliating. This was painful. He just wanted to go back home. He would forgive Magnus for everything, he promised himself. He would never be angry at the warlock again. Because at least, if he had stayed, Alec would have been safe. But no, he had to be stubborn enough to leave, go out on his own. And now he was paying the price.

“Chin down, eyes on the floor,” the vampire commanded.

Alec looked down at the floor in front of him.

“Good,” the vampire said. “Now, I never got the chance to do to you what I wanted to do. So I will take it now. And I will take it with force if I have to. Do you understand?”

“Yes, sir,” Alec mumbled. He felt nauseous thinking of what was going to happen to him. But he knew he was better off just obeying and not resisting. Even if it made him feel sick to his stomach. Even if he didn’t want this.

The vampire nodded. He undid the belt on his jeans, popped the button and pulled the zipper down. He shoved his jeans and his underwear down to his thighs. “Wrap your hand around my cock,” the vampire ordered.

Alec swallowed. He took a deep breath and slowly brought his hand up to wrap his fingers around the vampire’s cock. His throat closed up and more tears spilled down his cheeks as he sat, frozen, wanting to run and hide. Sink into the ground. Fall asleep and never wake up again.

“Move it,” the vampire growled, getting impatient. “Chop chop.”

Alec did, slowly moving his hand up and down the cock. His heart was racing in his chest, his breathing fast but laboured.

“Hasn’t Magnus taught you anything?” the vampire sighed. “Open your mouth.”

Alec kept his mouth shut. He couldn’t. He couldn’t open his mouth and let this vampire humiliate him in such a way. He shook his head. The vampire slapped him harshly, but he kept his mouth shut. Another slap. And then, his nose was pinched shut. He knew he couldn’t keep his mouth shut now. But he tried. He really tried to keep his mouth shut for as long as he could. But he ran out of air. His body panicked. And his mouth opened to suck in as much air as it could.

The vampire thrusted in, a hand entangled in Alec’s hair. “You’re really going to have to learn everything I see,” he said. “Exhausting, but fine. You’ll learn quickly under my command.” He laughed as he thrusted, shallow and steady.

Alec tried to breathe through his nose. On one hand he wanted to bite down, but he knew that wasn’t going to end well for him. He was already exhausted and in pain as it was. He didn’t want to make it worse for himself.

Suddenly, his air supply was cut off as the vampire forced his cock deeper into Alec’s down, and down his throat. His hands came up to push against the vampire’s thighs, but the vampire didn’t care. Alec gagged, fighting against the intrusion. His throat burned. Everything hurt.

The vampire pulled back and continued his shallow thrusting. Alec breathed in as much air as he could through his nose, until the vampire forced himself deeper into his mouth and down his throat again. Alec fought, claws digging into the vampire’s thighs as he tried desperately to get away.

The vampire pushed him away. He wrapped a hand around his cock and started stroking. “You’re disgusting,” he said. “You can’t even take dick properly. But that’s okay. You’re going to learn to take it properly soon enough.” 

The vampire came all over Alec’s face, and then left.

Alec was left to his own devices. The lights were shut off, but he just sat there, on his knees, stunned. Something wet and sticky was drying on his face and in his hair and yet he couldn’t care at the moment. He was in shock. His body refused to move.

Finally, exhaustion caught up to him. Alec wiped the remaining wetness from his face and wiped it onto his clothes. He gagged, a second later he found himself on his hands and knees, throwing up what little content of food was in his stomach still. Once it was empty and he wasn’t gagging anymore, he crawled away from the mess and curled up into a corner. The floor was cold and uncomfortable, but there was nothing else to lie on.

Alec was certain he wanted to die right there and then. Even if Magnus came for him, he was already too ashamed, too humiliated from what had just happened. He could never face Magnus again, or anyone, for that matter. He was tainted now. Disgusting. He would never be okay again, he just knew that much.

The boy closed his eyes and focused on his breathing instead. Eventually, he started to drift off into a light slumber.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNINGS!!!  
\- Suicidal(?)ish thoughts. Or at least, not having the will to move on and continue living if things happen.  
\- Ball gags, anal hooks, weird ass constructions, BDSM room (is that a warning?).

Magnus absolutely felt not like getting out of bed the next morning. He had barely slept. When he had managed to fall asleep, he had had nightmares about finding Alec dead, torn to pieces, beaten bloody and bruised. He hoped it wasn’t some kind of foreshadowing. Magnus would never forgive himself if he found Alec dead. Or if he didn’t find the boy at all. He might as well end himself if that happened.

The sun was coming through the curtains and colouring his bedroom in a golden light. He remembered Alec laying in his bed, covered in the golden glow. Alec would look like an angel then. But the boy wasn’t here now. And the golden light only reminded him of the situation. He grumbled and forced himself to sit up. His body was stiff. Everything was taking too much energy. He really didn’t want to do shit today. Everything sucked.

His doorbell rang. He grabbed his phone and checked for the time. It was 9am. Too early for someone visiting. He sighed, snapped his fingers to get himself dressed and left his bedroom. He managed to drag himself over to his front door and opened it.

It was Raphael.

“You look… not like your fabulous self,” Raphael commented, taking in Magnus’ appearance. The warlock looked dishevelled and exhausted. He could imagine why, but it was rare to catch Magnus like this. Magnus was generally meticulous with his appearance. Always stylish.

“Yeah yeah,” Magnus mumbled, letting in the vampire. “How did you get here? Last time I checked, you’re not a daylighter.”

Raphael shrugged. “I have my ways.”

Magnus’s fingers sparked blue and all the sunlight was blocked out to protect the vampire from being burned to death. Raphael was a close friend of his. He wouldn’t like to see him being burned to death.

“Coffee?” Magnus asked.

“No thank you,” Raphael answered, following the warlock to the kitchen.

“What are you doing here?” Magnus asked as he turned on the coffee machine. It would be so much easier to just magic himself a coffee cup. But he felt incredibly low on energy, and thus didn’t feel like magicking himself a coffee cup from somewhere.

“I have news,” Raphael said.

Magnus turned around and eyed the vampire. “Well, tell!”

Raphael crossed his arms over his chest. “One of my vampires let him escape. He’s being held now and questioned, but he’s not exactly talking. He may know of the whereabouts of your Alec.”

“Torture him if you must,” Magnus said and shrugged. He really didn’t care at the moment. Magnus wasn’t one for violence at all. But when it came to Alec, he would do literally anything to get the boy back alive. Even if that meant torturing other Downworlders.

“Are you that desperate to get him back?” Raphael asked, curious this time. Raphael himself was a little more ruthless. He didn’t mind torturing other Downworlders or even fellow vampires to get what he wanted. So he did indeed order some of his clan members to do everything they could to have the rogue vampire talk.

“Yes,” Magnus said, finally managing to fill his coffee cup. He took a sip of coffee and grimaced. It tasted disgusting. He had never been good at making his own coffee. Hundreds of years old and he failed at such a simple task. “Wouldn’t you for someone you loved?”

“Of course,” Raphael said. There was absolutely no question about it. He watched Magnus struggle with his coffee. “Magnus, you’ve got to take care of yourself. Regardless of the outcome of whatever happens to Alec.”

Magnus put the cup down and looked at Raphael. “Why? If I lose Alec, I might as well end my own life.”

“You’re hundreds of years old but you’re willing to let it go over one boy?”

“He’s not just any boy,” Magnus growled. He clenched his fists and turned away. “It’s hard to explain. It feels like he’s part of me. Without him…” He shook his head and closed his eyes. No, without Alec life just didn’t seem worth living. Whenever he wouldn’t see Alec for a day, he would feel so empty. He hated that feeling. It wasn’t a feeling he quite liked. So yeah, perhaps it seemed silly to others. But Alec was part of him. And if Alec died, if they didn’t find him, Magnus wasn’t so sure if life was worth living after that.

“Magnus,” Raphael said, in a commanding voice. “When we do find your boy, you’ve got to be your best self to help him through whatever he went through. He’s going to need you. And not your miserable ass. But you.”

Magnus sighed. He supposed Raphael was right about that. But still. He found it so hard to be a functioning High Warlock of Brooklyn whenever Alec wasn’t around. And especially when he didn’t know where the boy was. It was ruining him.

“Fine,” the warlock said. He turned back to Raphael. “Fine, okay? I’ll take care of myself. Just… you better make sure that vampire talks and tells us where Alec is. I need to know.”

“I will,” Raphael promised. A promise they both knew he couldn’t uphold. But it seemed to make Magnus feel a little better. And that’s what counted at the moment.

“Now get out,” Magnus said. “And don’t you dare contact me until you have news.”

“I shall.” Raphael turned and walked to the door. He opened the door and stopped in the doorway. “Do yourself a favour. Get yourself a proper cup of coffee.” He stepped outside and closed the door.

Magnus worried for a few minutes about Raphael leaving. It was daylight, after all. But if Raphael had managed to come here, he would manage to leave. In whatever way. The warlock’s fingers sparked blue and a cup of proper coffee appeared in his hand. He smiled to himself, took a sip and walked over to the living room. He sat down on the couch and took another sip. At least this didn’t taste like crap.

He really needed to teach himself how to make proper coffee. Though really, there was no use when he could just use his magic to get himself coffee.

The apartment was quiet. Too quiet for his liking. His fingers sparked blue again and with a snap, soft music turned on. Magnus smiled to himself and tried to distract himself. He could go out there and try to find Alec. But it was likely useless. Yesterday, nothing had worked. No tracking of Alec’s phone. No item had given him any sort of information. Magnus suspected the vampire may be working together with a warlock that was blocking Alec’s energy. Or perhaps Alec was dead.

He shook his head. He shouldn’t think like that. It was more likely that Alec was still alive. Perhaps he was being held somewhere surrounded by water. That would also be an explanation of why he couldn’t track the boy. And the phone was likely turned off.

Everything sucked, though. Magnus didn’t feel like doing anything. He had no motivation and no energy. And his mind constantly went to Alec. He was really worried for the boy. He didn’t know how to function without him.

His club would be closed for a while now. He wouldn’t step inside it without Alec. He should have never dragged the boy there anyway. Even if Alec had begged him to. As repayment for taking care of him. Magnus should have known better. He didn’t understand how he could have been such a fool. Of course he could have known something like this was going to happen.

Alec had been too popular from the start. Even with the other three, the focus was always on Alec.

Magnus sighed and put his cup down. Everything seemed so hopeless at the moment. He didn’t like feeling this powerless, not knowing where Alec was or being able to save him. He just wanted the boy back. Leave, forget everything that had happened and live somewhere with just the two of them. No one would be able to hurt him then. Magnus would always be there for him then, to protect him. But it was too late for that now. Because Alec wasn’t here.

The warlock was frustrated. He stood op and walked over to the balcony. He opened the door and breathed in the fresh air. He placed his hands onto the railing and looked down at the citizens of the city. They just went their ways. Did their things. Life was normal to them. All that mattered for Mundanes was work it seemed. They didn’t know of the dangers out there. Of the Downworlders praying on the Mundanes. And the few that did know generally didn’t survive that long.

Magnus closed his eyes and forced himself to breathe in and out slowly. He needed to remain calm and steady, in case anything turned up that could give him a clue to where Alec was. The more he panicked or stressed or got frustrated the less likely he would be able to focus. And he needed to focus.

He just hoped he could find Alec soon.  
\-----   
Alec started to wake up slowly. He blinked open his eyes, slowly, letting them adjust to the bright light. His body felt cold and sore. He slowly sat up and took a look around, and then realised where he was. Bile rose up his throat. So it hadn’t been a bad nightmare.

There was a salty lingering taste in his mouth. He groaned, a shiver running down his spine as he remembered why. His face was still sticky. The collar of his shirt was spotted.

Alec took a closer look around the room, or basement. He hadn’t gotten the chance last night. He noticed one door, and another. And a third. He frowned, wondering what those doors led to. He knew one could lead to his escape, but it would be hard to figure out which one. Since this was one concrete, four walled room.

One of them swung open. Alec turned his head and looked at the door. The vampire from last night stepped through the door and shut it, grinning.

That grin however vanished quite quickly. “Shouldn’t you be kneeling, slave?” the vampire asked, approaching Alec.

Alec shook his head, struggling to his feet. He wasn’t going to submit to him just like that. He was a human being. He had rights. And he really didn’t feel like being here. “You can let me go, right now, and I won’t tell Magnus a thing,” he said.

The vampire grinned, reaching out for Alec. The boy ducked and ran for the door. He managed to grip the knob and open the door, but before he could take a step outside he froze. The room in front of him was red. The walls were red painted. There were structures, and whips, canes, toys. Alec wanted to turn, but turned right into the vampire.

“If you’d rather go there, you should have just said so,” the vampire said and smirked. He grabbed Alec’s hair and dragged him into the red room.

Alec’s hands reached up and grabbed onto the vampire’s wrists. He tried to free himself, but the vampire was quite strong. He gulped was he was dragged over to a construction that looked entirely too uncomfortable. Something that would force him to sit on his knees for probably prolonged periods of time.

“Time for you to learn a lesson,” the vampire said, forcing Alec to his knees. He swiftly secured Alec’s ankles to the device. Alec was bent over the rest of the construction, the boy’s chest resting on iron surface. Leather straps were placed over his back to keep him down. His hands were tied behind his back, as far stretched down as it could, and secured in place.

“There, that already looks so much better,” the vampire said and smirked. 

“Fuck you,” Alec spat.

“Yeah, have an attitude. It won’t last long around here.” The vampire walked over to a wall with an assortment of gags and other things that Alec didn’t even want to know what they were.

Alec struggled against the contraption. He tried to free himself. But he quickly found out he just couldn’t. The straps were tied and well designed to keep him in place. It was unfair. It made him nauseous. At least he still had all his clothes on. Though he had a feeling that wasn’t going to last long.

The vampire returned, which Alec didn’t notice until a hand was placed on his ass. The boy jumped as much as he could in his contraption. Alec was on edge and scared.

Then he could his shoes being removed, and his socks. After that, cold metal against his legs and the sound of a scissor cutting through fabric.

“Stop!” Alec cried, tears threatening to spill down his cheeks. Once more he tried to fight, but it was no use. He was only hurting himself.

Piece by piece, Alec felt his pants and underwear being removed. Cold air hit his bare skin, raising goose bumps along it. He gritted his teeth, only now feeling just how cold this room really was.

“Right,” the vampire said. “Now that that’s out of the way.” 

Alec felt something cold and round press against his ass. He shook his head, his body tensing up. “Please don’t,” he said, a hint of desperation in his voice. Alec was a virgin. Nothing had penetrated him there before. He didn’t want that to be ruined by this man.

But the vampire was relentless and with quite some pressure, the cold material finally forced itself into him. Alec cried out, fought against his restraints, tears running down his face. A world of hurt opened up as the thing was forced inside of him.

“Now that’s an anal hook,” the vampire said over Alec’s sobbing. The vampire walked around towards Alec’s face and smiled. “You’re beautiful like this, crying.”

Alec swallowed and managed to glare up at the vampire. The man rolled his eyes and pinched Alec’s nose. “Open your mouth, slut.”

Alec tried to hold out for as long as he could, but his air supply ran out quite fast. He gasped for air, and a metal ring was forced into his mouth and secured behind his head. Alec tried to push it out, but couldn’t. It was secured too tight.

“And that’s a ring gag,” the vampire mused. He walked around Alec until he stood at the boy’s side. “Now I can connect your head to the hook, so your head will be kept up.” 

A piece of thing rope was forced through the gag’s strap behind his head, making it a pressure point. Suddenly, Alec’s head was forced up until it hurt, his muscles straining. He tried to tell the vampire to stop, that it was hurting, but all that came out of his mouth was a bunch of sounds. Nothing clear. No proper words. And quite some drool.

The vampire appeared within his sight again, inspecting his handy work. He nodded, seemingly quite proud. “Yeah, that looks good. I bet it hurts.” He grinned, seeing Alec’s face twist. “Good. You’ll be like this until you’ve learned your lesson.”

The man reached down and rubbed a hand over his pants. He closed his eyes for a brief moment as he rubbed. Alec was disgusted but couldn’t look away. He wished he could. The fact that this was getting the vampire off disturbed him. It made him nauseous.

“Alright then. See you in a bit.” The vampire turned and walked towards the door. He shut it behind him once he was out, leaving Alec alone in the red coloured room.

Alec could feel the strain in his muscles. His ass felt like it was on fire. His jaw was aching with how wide it was forced open. There was drool down his chin. At least he was still wearing his shirt, which gave him slightly comfort, he supposed. He wasn’t yet entirely exposed to the vampire. But he knew that wasn’t going to last long either.

His best hope was that Magnus would find him, and soon. Alec wasn’t sure how long he could hold on here. He knew it was in his best interest to just obey the vampire. But he didn’t want to. And now he was paying the price.

This was going to suck big time. Literally and figuratively. Alec closed his eyes and wished he could go years back. Be with his parents. His life had become so messed up recently. And he didn’t even know why. He couldn’t remember what he had done to deserve this. But something apparently. Alec wondered if he was ever going to be okay after this. He couldn’t really imagine he would.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I think this chapter is a little kinder, little better, than last chapter's. It's a little less harsh than last chapter, so hopefully you guys will enjoy this a little better. Rescue is coming for Alec. <3  
WARNINGS!!!  
\- Whips.  
\- Blood.

By the time night fell over the grand city, Magnus had spent another day without the boy. Without Alec in his apartment. Without even a word of him. Not knowing where the boy was, it was disorienting. He hated it. He needed to know where Alec was to keep his sanity. He felt mad just not knowing where the boy was. Not knowing what he could do to find him.

Magnus felt like he might just go insane.

His phone ringing had him jump. He turned and grabbed the device off of his coffee table. It was Raphael.

“Raphael,” Magnus said, trying to sound cool and contained.

“Magnus,” Raphael said. “I have news.”

“It better be good news.” Magnus bit down on his bottom lip and turned to the balcony. He looked out the window over the city.

“We don’t know where Alec is,” Raphael said. “But, the vampire can point out a general area where he knows Alec might be kept.”

“That’s all? Really!?” Magnus was fuming. A general area? Depending on how big it was, it could still take them days, weeks, months even to find where Alec was. By then, it might be too late. Alec might be dead by then. And that’s a prospect he didn’t really care about.

“Calm down,” Raphael said over the phone. “I know it’s not the news you like. But it’s something. I’ve already sent out some vampires to search the area. It’s wise for you to send some people too. Inform them of where Alec might be kept.”

Magnus groaned. “Fine,” he said, exasperated. “What area?”

“I’ll draw it out on a map and sent you a photo.” Raphael hung up before he could get any more of Magnus’s anger over him.

Magnus waited for the text message. When he got it, he studied the area carefully. It was surrounded by water, which is probably why he couldn’t have tracked Alec there. It seemed like some abandoned industrial area. It was big, but not massive. It would take but a few days at max to find him if he was there. But those were still days. Days in which Alec could be killed. In which he could be hurt beyond repair. He hated it.

Reluctantly, he texted the photo of the map to his friends in the hope they could help him search. That they would look out for the boy. Because he needed Alec back. And he needed Alec back sooner rather than later. He needed Alec to survive.

Magnus made himself a glass of scotch and threw it back in one go. He knew drinking during such times wasn’t the smartest idea. But it kept him calm and focused. Something he quite needed if he was to find Alec. If he was to help the boy through whatever he had gone through. Which Magnus was sure wasn’t going to be anything easy.

Traumas were tricky and difficult. They could last years. Some never recovered from them. Magnus knew there was a real chance that Alec may never recover from what he would have gone through. He just hoped it wouldn’t be too late by the time he found the boy. That Alec could still be fixed.

Because if Alec couldn’t be fixed, well, Magnus wasn’t sure what’d he’d do then. The warlock put his glass down and pulled at his hair. He could feel the tears burn at the corners of his eyes but he refused to let them slip. He had never been like this over pretty much anyone. Magnus, hundreds of years old, now nothing but a desperate person to have Alec back to him.

The entire day had been misery. Magnus couldn’t focus without Alec. Didn’t know what to do without the boy. His mind kept wandering to the boy, helpless but to undergo whatever the vampire was putting him through him. It made him jealous. It made him want to find Alec and mark the boy as his and his only. No one would ever be allowed to touch Alec without his permission. Because Alec was his and his only. And he wouldn’t stand for anyone else touching the boy.

Thinking about that, it made him nauseous thinking of Alec dancing in the club. The many private performances that Alec had done. Although strangers hadn’t been allowed to touch him then. But still. Just the thought of Alec alone in a room with some paying stranger. Strangers who would pay a fortune to have sex with the boy.

Magnus snapped his fingers and his glass filled up with scotch. He poured it back in one go, feeling the alcohol buzz through his system. Magnus could always rely on alcohol. He always had and he had no doubt he always would. Because even if he did find Alec and they lived happily ever after, Alec was mortal. The boy would die in about 70 years or so. And then Magnus would be alone once more, with just his memories and his friends. But not with Alec.

His fingers gripped the glass tightly, letting the coolness of it calm him down. He couldn’t think like that, not right now. Because he might not even have Alec back alive.

The warlock swallowed and stood up, putting the glass down on the table. The sun had set and New York was lit up by the many buildings the city had. He opened the balcony door and walked out into it, looking over the city. He truly loved this apartment and he was quite set on keeping it for a while. He wasn’t planning to move away quickly, unless of course Shadowhunters came knocking to ruin it all. Which they might.

He had heard of a name amongst the Downworlder gossips. Apparently Shadowhunters were quite scared of a certain individual returning. Valentine had been brutal back in his day, but then he’d been killed. Or so everyone had thought. Now the whispers went that he might be alive just yet. And planning his return.

And that was no good for anyone. Not even the majority of Shadowhunters would want that man back. A madman he was. Magnus had had a run in with the Shadowhunter back in Valentine’s prime. The man had seemed… unkindly towards Downworlders. As if he held a grudge. Or perhaps he did.

Regardless, Valentine possibly returning was the worst for both Shadowhunters and Downworlders. Shadowhunters were already low on numbers and Magnus was quite certain that Valentine would lower those numbers if they didn’t join him. Valentine had been ruthless back then and there was no doubt to Magnus that the Shadowhunter would be now as well.

It was a future Magnus would rather not live in. As much as he disliked Shadowhunters and their god-complex, a world without Shadowhunters wasn’t going to be any better. Downworlders being free to do as they like would be chaotic. And bad news for mundanes. Even if he disliked mundanes as well, they didn’t deserve to be turned or die for Downworlders.

The Accords had quite accomplished a peaceful state for years now. Mundanes weren’t murdered as much anymore. And whenever they were murdered, Shadowhunters brought justice. The Accords were renewed every few years. Magnus had been at every council and renewal. And each time it had brought him a sense of peace.

Even Shadowhunters could be peaceful.

His mind wandered back to Alec. The cool air blowing through New York city had him shiver. He wondered if Alec was okay, if he was cold as well. Magnus hoped not. He knew one thing for certain. The moment that vampire was tracked down, the worst would be done unto him. Raphael had promised him that the vampire would get his due punishment. Had even talked about letting the vampire burn on the rooftop as the sun came up. A very cruel fate. But a fate the vampire deserved.

Magnus hated violence, but he would do everything to protect those who he loved. And Alec was someone he loved more than anyone else. So whatever harm came to the boy, the vampire would be sure to receive it many times over and worse. Because Magnus didn’t care for diplomacy at the moment. All he cared about was getting the boy back and punishing the vampire who had taken him. No one would take what was his. Not without consequence. 

The majority of Downworlders knew this and therefore decided not to cross him. But apparently this vampire wasn’t scared or impressed. Well, the vampire would be by the time he died.

The warlock went back inside and closed the balcony door. He sighed and looked around his apartment. It looked slightly chaotic. But then, so was his mind.

Magnus decided to take a hot shower before going to bed. He needed his rest if he was going to search tomorrow. If he was going to find Alec. Because he needed to be strong for Alec. The boy would need him when he was found. And Magnus would be there for him every step of the way through recovery.

Even if Magnus would have to put a memory block into Alec’s mind. He would do anything to ensure that Alec would become his old self again. The boy deserved only the very best. And he hated the fact that he couldn’t protect Alec at the moment. But he would remedy that. He promised himself that. Promised Alec that. After this, once the boy was back, no more harm would come to him. Because Magnus would always be there for him to protect him. No one would ever hurt the boy again.

The bed felt cold and empty. He sighed, climbing under the covers and curling up. He whispered a quick spell to himself to help him sleep through the night without nightmares. He would need his energy tomorrow. And if he didn’t get enough sleep, well, he wouldn’t have the energy to deal with everything.

Magnus closed his eyes and let himself slowly fall asleep.  
\-----   
Alec was exhausted. A light sheen of sweat covered his naked body. Red lashes crossed his back. A puddle of blood was forming on the floor below him.

After he had been stuck in that awful contraption for hours on end, the vampire had fucked him. And then he’d been untied, his wrists had been chained to the ceiling and his body had been hoisted up until he barely could stand on his toes.

It had been like that ever since. With him balancing on his toes, while trying to remember to breathe, while trying not to freak out. His back was one painful surface. He wasn’t sure how much whiplashes he’d gotten. He had lost track quite fast. He wasn’t sure how bad the wounds were, but knowing just how much he was bleeding, he knew it wasn’t good. He knew that he was at risk of dying from severe blood loss. A faith he’d rather not meet.

The vampire had fed him. Some grub it had been. It had tasted disgusting but it had been something. The vampire seemed to realise that Alec was a human and therefore needed food to stay alive. If it was lucky for him he wasn’t sure.

Alec was just so tired. All he wanted to do was go to sleep and sleep for eternity. He wasn’t even certain that was enough to give him the energy he’d lost, to get him through the traumas. He wondered if Magnus was looking for him, if he was close. He kind of hoped so, because Alec wasn’t sure how long he could hold on. He felt so weak, so powerless, so lost. He wanted to give in and die. But he couldn’t. He knew the vampire wouldn’t let him.

Hell, the vampire had even been talking about turning him into a vampire, or a subjugate, whatever that was. Alec wasn’t very keen on finding out. He didn’t want to become either of those. The vampire had explained to him the process of becoming a vampire. It would involve him dying. And… well, Alec wasn’t fond of that idea necessarily. Even as eternal sleep seemed like such a nice option right now.

It meant he would never see Magnus again. Or his friends. Or his parents. And he would really like to see those before he died. Though after this, he wasn’t sure if he would ever come back from this. He wasn’t sure if he would ever be himself again.

He highly doubted it.

Exhaustion was a strain on hid body, which was begging him to let go and let himself fall asleep. But Alec really didn’t want to. He knew very well that he may not wake up if he did fall asleep. And no matter how much he hated himself right now, how disgusted he was with himself, he wanted to wake up, to live. Not even that much for himself. But for Magnus.

They had been doing so well. Alec had finally been able to get over his very own sense of homophobia. And now? He had gone to ruin it. He shouldn’t have left. He should have stayed. Because at least then, he wouldn’t have been in this dumb mess.

It was his own fault.

He wondered if Magnus would even want him after this. Alec would be stained, marked forever by this vampire. He wasn’t sure if Magnus would want that, want him. Not that it might matter. Alec might die before he would even know.

Another lash landed across his back. Alec cried out.

“Where have you been with your thoughts, slave?” the vampire asked, walking into Alec’s field of vision. 

“Nowhere, sir,” Alec murmured, looking down. A shiver ran down his spine. He was truly terrified of this man.

“Mhm,” the vampire thought about that. “Perhaps if I fuck you again you’ll stay awake,” he said, and disappeared out of Alec’s view.

Alec wanted to beg him not to, but he knew it wouldn’t matter. Alec could beg and beg as much as he wanted, the vampire would do whatever he wanted to anyway. Alec couldn’t stop him. He was too weak. He was chained up. There was no escape for him.

He mentally prepared himself, but nothing happened. Nothing forced its way into him. No other lashes landed across his back. Nothing. For a moment, Alec wondered if the vampire had died, if Magnus had found him finally.

But then, the vampire came back into view and Alec bit down on his lip. 

“Yeah, you’re paying attention now, huh.” The vampire chucked, grabbing the boy’s chin in a tight grip. “I’m going to let you down now. You’re going to shower and clean yourself, and then you’ll be able to rest for the night. Do you understand, slave?”

‘Slave’. Alec hated that word. He was absolutely not that, even if he had to play along here. He nodded his head. “Yes, sir,” he answered. Seconds later, his wrists were relieved of the cold shackles. He fell down to the ground, his legs too weak to carry him. He landed in the puddle of his own blood and groaned, slowly trying to get up.

He was too slow, apparently. The vampire grabbed him by his hair and dragged him out of the room. Alec forced his legs to work so he could walk quickly after the vampire. The door to the playroom, or whatever it was, was shut. He was dragged over to another door and it opened into a large bathroom with toilet, bathtub and shower. 

Alec stared. Because it seemed so normal. He was let go and he managed to stand on his own. He looked around, taking in the details. Then he caught himself in the mirror.

He was pale. A little too pale. There were dark circles under his eyes. His hair was a mess. There were dark bruises on his neck and collar bone. He turned his back a little to the mirror and had to cover his mouth with his contained gasp. His back seemed like it had no skin left or something.

He gagged, feeling bile rush up his throat. A slap alerted him to the vampire’s presence though and he painfully swallowed that down.

“Get in the shower,” the vampire ordered.

Alec turned to the shower, which was turned on. He hesitated, knowing exactly how painful it would be for him to get under it. His back was already painful, it would only get worse if he stepped under the water. However, he knew his back needed to be cleaned.

He swallowed and slowly stepped under the warm water. For the first few minutes, his world was full of pain. But as it died down a little, his body relaxed. He leaned back against the wall and closed his eyes, letting himself relax under the warm water. This felt much better than he could have imagined.

Suddenly there were hands on him. Alec tensed up.

“Relax,” the vampire said. “I’m not going to hurt you right now.”

Alec opened his eyes and looked at the vampire as the man washed him down with soap. He couldn’t quite believe that this man could be anything but cruel to him. But apparently the vampire could be kind as well. Alec let himself relax, let the vampire wash him down and then wash off the soap. He didn’t want to fight it anyway. He was too tired, too weak.

“Good boy,” the vampire said, and gave him a quick peck on the cheek.

Alec blushed and looked down. “Thank you, master.” He wasn’t sure why he was blushing, or why he felt the need to thank the vampire. But he did. And on one hand, he hated himself for it. But on another, if this would make his life here a little easier, he’d gladly take it. He’d gladly take kindness and gentleness over harsh and cruel actions.

The water was shut off. Alec was helped out of the shower and dried off gently. He was even given panties for him to wear. Alec took them, grateful for the bit of fabric now covering his bits. He followed the vampire back into the room he had woken up in yesterday. There was a bed now. With blankets and a pillow.

“Go rest,” the vampire said, and left. 

Alec climbed into bed, dizzy with tiredness. He curled up under the blankets, ignoring the pain the fabric caused on his back. He closed his eyes and let the darkness take him away.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nothing too graphic necessarily. I'm not too happy with this chapter. Anyway, I was thinking of picking one of the two other prompts for a while. Which one would you guys prefer:  
1\. Alec loses his memories instead of Clary. A year later we find him working a local Starbucks while the rest regularly check up on him. Then one day, Magnus finds himself facing Alec, and Alec finds himself remembering bits and pieces slowly but surely.  
2\. Magnus is enjoying his married life to Alec. He spends most days relaxing in their apartment. Alec is visiting the New York Institute for a day. When Magnus gets a call from his father, everything falls apart. Hurriedly getting from Alicante to the New York Institute, he's given a choice. He can kill his beloved husband and save the Institute from being burned down. Or he won't, and the Institute, its shadowhunters and New York City will burn. Alec tells him it's okay, and to do it. To which Magnus wonders if he should, and what would happen if he does. Asmodeus has a nice little throne in one of the demon realms he rules for his son and plans on taking him and keeping him.

Alec woke up with a start, forcing himself to sit up in quick succession. Dizziness overwhelmed him, his vision blurry, and his hand went to his belly as nauseous rose up in his throat. He closed his eyes and breathed through it, letting his body calm down slowly. Once he started feeling a little better, he opened his eyes again and looked around. So he was still in the same bare room. Nothing had changed. It was kind of disappointing.

He shifted his legs out of bed and placed his feet onto the cold floor. He sighed, hands twisting into the bed sheets. He wondered what Magnus was doing at the moment. Perhaps searching for him.

Alec shook his head. He needed to stop thinking about that. It was unlikely that Magnus was searching for him. Otherwise he would have been found already. No one was coming for him, he just knew that much. He was absolutely worthless, after all. 

The boy stood up and turned to the bed. His hand flew to his mouth to cover his gasp as he saw the dark red stain in the covers, the mattress. He knew his back had been bad, but seeing the amount of blood he’d lost overnight, he wondered how he could even be alive still. Although he was feeling weak.

He turned to the sound of a door opening. He came face to face with the vampire that was keeping him here. He swallowed and looked down, immediately getting to his knees and locking his hands behind his back.

“Ah, you’re learning,” the vampire said, smiling. He approached the boy. “Good boy,” he said, placing a hand in Alec’s hair and playing with the strands.

Alec remained quiet. The man’s touch disgusted him, made him want to move away. But he didn’t. He didn’t want to risk any punishment. He was already hurting enough. He didn’t need to hurt any more than he already was.

Memories of yesterday flooded his brain, overwhelming him momentarily. He gagged, but managed not to double over. Tears stung his eyes as the memories flashed before his eyes in full colour and detail. 

No one was ever going to want him. No one was ever going to love him anymore. He was utterly useless now. Except for being the plaything for this man. Which made it perhaps even worse. It made him feel nauseous. The urge to throw up was big, but he forced himself not to.

“So, what do you want to do today?” the vampire asked. “Are you hungry?”

Alec swallowed. “No, sir,” he answered quietly.

“I can’t imagine that. You must be.” The vampire forced Alec’s face up, forced the boy to look at him. “Tell me the truth, slave.”

Alec bit down on his bottom lip. He was hungry, even if he wasn’t feeling that well. He knew he needed food in his system if he was going to survive. But maybe he didn’t even want to. Why would he want to survive just to go through hell every day. That wasn’t his idea of fun. He quite hated the idea.

He quietly wished that Magnus would be searching for him. Even if he knew the warlock wasn’t. Alec was too damaged. He knew no one would ever want him again.

“I am hungry, sir,” Alec admitted.

“Good boy,” the vampire said. He popped the button on his pants and pulled the zipper down.

Alec had to keep his tears at bay, which was harder than he thought. He swallowed down the bile rising up in his throat and closed his eyes, forcing himself to calm down. The more he panicked the worse it would be for him. And he wasn’t very fond of that.

“Open your mouth.”

Alec did, finding himself a happy place inside his mind as he obeyed the order.  
\-----   
Magnus appeared through the portal he had created. The sun was rising over New York City. It cast a golden glow over the industrial area that he had appeared in. Somewhere in this area, Alec was hidden, being kept away from him. Being hurt.

He clenched his fists and turned around. Catarina was there, as well as Luke, the leader of the New York Pack. He nodded at them.

“Let’s just each search and area, and text each other once we’ve cleared it. In that way, we can hopefully cover the entire area and find him.” Magnus looked at the others, waiting for their response.

Luke nodded. “I’ll have my pack on the west side,” he said, leaving the pair and pulling out his phone.

Magnus looked at Catarina. “What side do you want to take?” he asked.

She shrugged. “I’ll take the south side then. You do east and we’ll meet up at the north side if we haven’t found him then.”

Magnus nodded, and watched her go. He turned to the east side and looked up at the industrial buildings rising up. He felt intimidated and afraid. Magnus hated being afraid. He was hundreds of years old. He didn’t fear a lot. But now, losing Alec, well, that was one terrifying prospect. Something he didn’t want to face.

He needed to find the boy, even if it would take him days, weeks. He would find Alec, save him from the vampire. That was the least he could do for bringing the boy so much trouble. It was his fault. He should have killed the vampire, as had been his right. It’s just that Magnus didn’t like killing people. Especially not fellow Downworlders. But he knew he might have to right now. And he would. He would do anything necessary to get Alec back to him.

He entered the first building. This one was a little smaller than the others. All buildings were abandoned, so hopefully there wouldn’t be too much trouble. Though he was ready to deal with anything.

The first building was empty, he found out to his disappointment. So it really was going to be that tough. Magnus took a deep breath to calm himself down. The angrier he would be, the harder it would be to concentrate on the situation ahead. And he knew he needed to concentrate if he wanted to find Alec.  
\-----   
Alec was breathing hard through his nose, the ball gag keeping his mouth open restricting his breathing. He looked down at the water he was leaning over and shook his head. He couldn’t keep doing this.

A particularly hard thrust had Alec crying out. And just as he cried out, his head was forced under water. Without a warning, with the little breath that he had. He tried to keep calm, tried not to fight it. But his body fought anyway, struggling against the hands that were keeping him under. His lungs burned as they tried to breathe in oxygen, and instead got water.

He was pulled up and Alec found himself into a coughing fit. He was feeling so weak. His vision was dotted with black stars. His ears were ringing. His tears mixed with the water running down his face from his hair.

“Take a deep breath,” the vampire warned.

Alec took a few deep breaths before he was forced back under water. He closed his eyes and tried to stay calm. 

He was finally let up again. Without support of the vampire, Alec slumped to the ground, breathing hard. The ball gag was removed from his mouth and Alec moved his jaw a few times as the ache set in. He looked up at the vampire through watery eyes and could faintly hear him cursing. Only now did he see the phone in the man’s hand.

This was his chance. He could get the phone, call Magnus or anyone else so they could find him. But he didn’t. He didn’t have the energy, couldn’t get up. Instead, he just curled up and shivered on the cold floor. He wasn’t sure why the vampire sounded so agitated, everything sounded so vague. Like he couldn’t understand the language. He honestly didn’t care either. The only thing that mattered right now was breathing and getting the oxygen through his system flowing again.

Suddenly, a hand was in his hair and he was dragged back into the grey room he had first woken up in. His wrists were chained and he was pulled up by them, until he was standing on his toes. The vampire stood right in front of him.

“You’ve been good,” the vampire said, “but our time must end now. Apparently, people are searching for you. And I can’t have them find you alive, and find me.”

The vampire left for a few minutes, then returned with a knife in his hand.

“Please don’t,” Alec said. “Please, I’m sorry. I’ll come with you. I’ll do anything you want me to. Just please!” He shook his head, staring at the knife with fear. This couldn’t be happening. He had been a good boy. He had obeyed every command. He didn’t understand why this was happening. There was no way people were searching for him. No one was coming for him, he simply knew that. So why was the vampire lying about that?

“Shhh,” the vampire said and kissed him.

Alec kissed him back, as eagerly as he could manage. Trying to convince the vampire not to kill him. Even if perhaps he did want to die, he was panicking. 

The vampire pulled back and pressed the point of the knife to Alec’s chest. “Goodbye slave.” 

Alec cried out as the knife forced itself into his chest. His eyes fluttered shut as pain overwhelmed him. His breath stopped for a few seconds as his brain registered the stab wound, the knife stuck in his chest.

“Goodbye,” the vampire said, and left then.

Alec forced himself to breathe. He tried to slip a wrist free so he could remove the knife, but it was impossible. Breathing was getting harder. His vision was getting blurry. He looked around the room, but the vampire had indeed. He was alone now. Alone to die right here and then.

He heard a door being forced open. But his eyes slipped shut. Sound became vague, as if he was underwater. His breathing was laboured, painful. 

He could feel hands on him. He could feel his wrists being freed, but it didn’t matter. He was slipping into unconsciousness.

“No no no,” Magnus said, removing the knife and moving his hand over the stab wound. “Come on, Alec.”

He looked back towards Raphael. “Go find him!” he ordered.

Raphael nodded towards the two vampires, who went to search the building. Raphael approached Magnus and knelt down beside the two.

“Alec, come on,” Magnus mumbled. He checked for a pulse. At least Alec was still breathing. That was a huge relief. But the boy was in a really bad shape. He glanced over Alec’s shoulder and looked at the boy’s back. He had to keep his anger at bay.

“Magnus,” Raphael said. But before he could say anything, the two vampires came back, dragging a third with him.

“Lock him up,” Raphael ordered. “Don’t let him escape.”

Magnus couldn’t even look at the vampire. His worry was for Alec now, considering the boy wasn’t responding. He was breathing and his heart was beating, but that was all. 

“Magnus,” Raphael said again. “He needs a hospital.”

“I know,” Magnus said. He summoned a portal and gently lifted the boy up into his arms, bridal style. Magnus was careful for Alec’s back, not wanting to damage it more.

“Watch him. Don’t let him go. And punish him accordingly,” Magnus said to Raphael, before stepping through the portal. He appeared outside the hospital, holding Alec. He wrote a quick firemessage to Catarina.

Only minutes later did she came rushing out with two other nurses. Magnus and Alec were rushed inside, and Alec was taken away to be examined. Magnus watched the boy being rolled away onto a stretcher, worried for him. 

“Hey,” Catarina said gently. “He’s in good hands now,” she said. “We’ll take care of him. Go sit down.”

Magnus was shaking. He wasn’t sure why. Didn’t particularly care why. Catarina had gone back to the hospital for her night shift and Raphael had joined the search. They had finally found Alec, but at what cost? 

He sat down and buried his face in his hands. Catarina left, giving him some space and time. Magnus closed his eyes and let the tears he had kept penned up slip. His shoulders sagged.

Time moved on. Eventually, his tears dried up. He leaned back in the chair he was seated on and sighed. He felt exhausted now. His suit was stained with blood. Not that he really cared about that right now. What was important was getting Alec back to him.

He was really worried for the boy, for the physical and the mental scars Alec would have. The traumas Alec would have to face. Magnus would be there for him, even if Alec didn’t want him to be. 

He eventually started to drift off into a light slumber as well, exhaustion overtaking him. As he slept, he dreamt of finding Alec dead, finding him too late.

A hand on his shoulder had him wake up. He looked up and saw it was Catarina. He wiped his eyes and got up. “What’s the news?” he asked, anxious.

“Alec is stable,” Catarina reported. “But his back is a mess, Magnus. He may…” She looked at Magnus and shook her head. “He may not be able to feel anything there once it heals. It will leave its scars.”

Magnus sighed and turned away. He crossed his arms over his chest and shrugged. “As long as he survives. We’ll figure it out.”

“About that,” Catarina said.

Magnus turned around and looked at her. “What?”

“He’s stable, but he hasn’t woken up yet. We’re not sure why. All scans show no head traumas. He may be in a coma, but all his organs are functioning quite fine.” She sighed. “We’ll just have to wait up until he wakes up. He’s going to be in a lot of pain though, when he does.”

“I know,” Magnus mumbled. He looked down for a moment. The most important thing was that Alec was alive. That he was going to make it. He just needed time to heal.

“Can you take me to him?”

“Of course,” Catarina said. She guided him through the hospital until they reached his room.

Magnus opened the door and looked at the boy. He swallowed, shut the door and sat down in one of chairs the room had. He shoved it closer to Alec’s bed and gently took the boy’s hand. “Please wake up,” he said. “You’ve got to wake up, Alec. I can’t lose you. I love you and I’m so sorry that this happened to you.”

Magnus waited for a reaction, but nothing. He sighed and leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes. He decided to get some sleep. He would need all the sleep he could get. Because when Alec woke up, he wasn’t certain he was going to get much while helping the boy through his recovery.

The warlock slowly drifted off to sleep, hoping that by the time he woke up, Alec would be awake as well.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Quite a quick update this time. Hope ya'll enjoy!

Magnus found it hard to sleep. He kept waking up every hour or so, hoping that Alec would have woken up. But by morning, the boy had yet to give off a sign of life, besides his chest rising and falling. Alec looked pale, and didn’t move. He only seemed to breathe. Which in itself was a relief, but Magnus wanted the boy to wake up. And waiting for Alec to wake up was torture to him.

When he had seen Alec hanging there by his wrists, knife stuck in his chest, Magnus had been so afraid that he had been too late. Upon discovering that the boy was breathing, he had been relieved. But perhaps he had been too late anyway. The longer Alec stayed unconscious, the more likely it seemed that he may never wake up again. A terrifying prospect. One he didn’t really want to think about, prepare himself for. Even if he knew he might need to.

The warlock got up and left the room for a bit. He wandered the halls of the hospital quietly. He was glamoured, so the majority of the mundanes could not see him. The few that could cast him a quick, strange glance, before focusing back on what they were doing.

Magnus considered calling Raphael so he could have an hour or so with the vampire that did this to Alec. He needed to blow off some steam, so that when Alec woke up, he could deal with the situation in a calm and collected manner. He wasn’t sure if he could do that now, considering the anger that was flowing through him. He was buzzing with furious energy whenever he thought of Alec.

He found the exit of the hospital and stepped outside. It was lightly raining, but that didn’t bother him. Magnus took out his phone and dialled Raphael’s number.

“Morning,” Raphael answered the call.

“Where is the vampire?” Magnus asked.

“We’ve been keeping him locked up. Why?”

“I need to see him,” Magnus said. He turned to the hospital for a moment, looking at the people bustling about.

“Magnus, are you sure that’s a good idea?” Raphael sounded worried.

“Doesn’t matter if it is or isn’t. I need to blow off some steam and he deserves what’s coming for him.”

“Fine,” Raphael said. “I’ll leave the door unlocked for you then and let the others know you’re on your way.”

Magnus hung up the call. He tucked his phone back into his pocket and closed his eyes. “Please wake up,” he whispered, before turning away from the hospital and walking into Raphael’s direction.

Luckily, the hospital wasn’t too far a distance from Hotel DuMort. Half an hour walking and Magnus found himself facing an old, abandoned hotel. Well, abandoned by mundanes. Raphael and his clan had taken up space here. It looked like it was falling apart from the outside, but from the inside, everything was well-kept.

Magnus opened the door, stepped inside and shut the door again. Raphael was there, greeting him with a sharp grin.

“I figure your boy hasn’t woken up yet?” he asked, as he guided Magnus through the hotel.

“No,” Magnus said, and his voice made it clear that he didn’t want to talk about it either. The only thing he wanted to do was exchange a few words with the vampire. Perhaps kill him. He wasn’t sure about that yet.

They stopped in front of a massive iron door. Magnus was sure he had never seen that door before. It was either new or Raphael had never let him come here before. It didn’t matter, because, as the door opened, he came face to face with the vampire that had put Alec through hell.

The vampire was seated in a chair, chains keeping him in place.

Magnus grinned as he saw fear flash behind the vampire’s eyes. He looked at Raphael. “Leave me alone with him for a bit,” he said.

Raphael nodded his head. “Call whenever.” He stepped outside and closed the door.

Magnus clapped his hands together, causing the vampire to jump. He smirked, relishing in the fear.

“You’ve been busy with my boy,” Magnus said.

The vampire mocked a laugh, trying to seem and sound confident. “You should have heard him beg me to take him with me,” he said.

Magnus clenched his fists. “You almost killed him,” he said in a low voice. “He hasn’t woken up yet. What you did to his back…” He had to look down and take a deep breath. When he first cast a glance upon Alec’s back, it had made him want to throw up. He had never imagined Alec to be able to take such damage and not die.

“You will be punished for what you did,” Magnus said, shifting his gaze back towards the vampire. “I’m just still contemplating whether to kill you or not.”

“You wouldn’t,” the vampire growled, sounding panicked. “You hate it, you know it. So you wouldn’t.”

“Oh but I would,” Magnus said, taking a step closer. “Normally I hate it, yes. But I’ll enjoy putting you under the dirt. You deserve what’s coming for you. Perhaps I’ll have Raphael burn you alive, chain you to the roof of this building and let the sun come up and watch you turn into a black crisp.”

The vampire hissed. “That’s against the Accords!”

Magnus shrugged with a grin. “I’ll ignore the Accords for now. Because what you did to Alec, is something I will never forgive you for. And I am a forgiving person.”

“Are you sure you want to break the Accords? You might get some Shadowhunters onto your roof,” the vampire warned. But it was an empty threat.

Magnus laughed. “Nah. They won’t.” He leaned down towards the vampire. “You’re just making empty threats because you’re scared. And that’s fine. Be scared. Because what’s going to happen to you is something that you’ve had coming for you. You should have never touched Alec in any way.”

By the time Raphael was allowed back in the room, it smelled of burned skin and blood. He hissed, taking in the vampire who was seated lifelessly in the chair.

“What did you do?” Raphael asked, turning to Magnus who was leaning against the wall.

Magnus shrugged. “We exchanged some words, that’s all.” He turned to Raphael. “I want him burned on the top of the roof as the sun comes up. And if you won’t do it, I will.”

“Magnus,” Raphael said, sounding hesitant. “I’m not sure we can. The Accords.”

“I don’t care about the Accords!” Magnus’s eyes flashed the cat green that they originally were. His warlock mark. His fingers sparked blue. “I will take him with me if I have to, to get it done.”

Raphael put his hands up in defeat. “Okay,” he said. “Relax.”

Magnus was about to growl another comment, before he felt his phone vibrating. He turned away, took his phone out and looked at the number. It was Catarina. He answered the call immediately.

“Hey,” Magnus said.

“Magnus,” Catarina said. “Alec woke up.”

“Oh shit,” he mumbled. “I’ll be right there.”

“Please do, he seems very afraid and freaked out when nurses came into the room.” 

Magnus hung up the call and looked at Raphael. “You keep him locked up in here until I’m back. Keep him alive.”

Raphael nodded, and Magnus created a portal. He stepped through it and appeared outside of the hospital. He was feeling strangely anxious. He wasn’t sure how Alec would respond to him. He hoped well, but there was no real way of knowing.

Magnus went into the hospital and headed straight for the room where he knew Alec was in. He found his way there quickly. Catarina was waiting outside.

“Magnus!” she said, glad to see him.

“Hey,” Magnus said. “How is he?” 

“A little calmer,” Catarina said. 

Magnus nodded. He slowly opened the door and peeked his head in. Alec was seated in a corner, knees pulled up to his chest, hospital gown wrinkled. Magnus slowly stepped in and closed the door, turning to Alec.

“Alexander,” he said softly.

Alec looked at Magnus briefly, before looking down. He remained quiet, not sure what to say. He wasn’t even sure how he got here, or how much time had passed. The last thing he remembered was hanging by his wrists and getting stabbed. And as he looked at his wrists and saw the bruises, he knew not much time had passed by.

“Hey, Alexander,” Magnus said gently, getting a little closer. He got down onto his knees and looked at the boy. “It’s okay. You’re safe now.”

Alec’s eyes snapped up to Magnus. “Am I?” he asked. “What about…” He trailed off.

“He’s secured and being kept locked up,” Magnus explained.

“Oh.” 

Alec was silent again, processing that information. He wasn’t sure what to think about that. He had really thought that no one would be coming for him. And now here he was, in a hospital he guessed. With Magnus in the same room as him, looking worried.

Perhaps the warlock was just faking it. Alec couldn’t imagine that anyone really cared about him. He was stained now. He would never be clean again.

“Why did you come for me?” Alec asked, not daring to look at Magnus.

“Because I love you,” Magnus answered. “Because I was worried out of my mind. Because I wanted you back. Because I care about you and you’re my responsibility.”

Alec now did look up at Magnus, searching the warlock’s eyes for lies. “You’re lying,” he accused him. “Why would you want me back? Or love me?”

“Oh Alexander…” Magnus wanted to reach out and hug the boy. But he knew he shouldn’t. “I love you. The whole time you were gone, I couldn’t sleep or eat or think properly.”

“I’m stained now,” Alec said, looking down. “I’m disgusting. You shouldn’t have come for me. Should have just let me die.”

“I would never!” Magnus felt anger rise in his chest, but forced himself to remain calm. He was definitely going to murder the man who did this to his boy. “Alec, you’re not stained or disgusting. I promise you. You’re going to recover from this.”

Alec felt the tears sting, but he didn’t want to let them slide. He squeezed his eyes shut and buried his face in his arms. He didn’t want to believe Magnus, even if he knew Magnus was speaking the truth. He just couldn’t really imagine anyone wanting him, loving him. He felt like he was unlovable now, even if Magnus loved him still.

Most of all, he just didn’t know how to deal with this. Alec was a person who hid his emotions. He never really cared for showing them. After his parents had abandoned him, he had promised himself that emotions were nothing he needed. Feelings were useless. And yet here he was, an emotional mess. There was a chaos in his head.

A hand on his head had him panicking. Alec looked up with wide eyes, but saw it was only Magnus.

Magnus offered a gentle smile. “I don’t know what he has done to you. I can only guess from your injuries. But Alec, I promise, we’ll get through this. I’m going to be there for you every step of the way.”

Alec sniffled, tears now slipping down his face. “I don’t know,” he said. “I don’t know what to do. I feel so gross. I feel like I will never be clean again.”

“And it’s okay to feel that way right now. But you must now, it will pass. And it will take time, but it will pass in the end.” Magnus shuffled a little closer. “Alec, I love you. I was so scared that I was going to lose you. And to find you, hanging by your wrists, unconscious, with a knife sticking out of your chest?” Magnus shook his head, and this time, he spilled tears too. He had been so afraid that the boy had been dead. That he had been too late.

Alec shuffled into Magnus’s arms and clung to him as he sobbed. His body shook, from exhaustion, from the sobbing, from the pain.

And Magnus let him, keeping the boy against his chest gently. Holding him softly and letting him cry. Alec needed this. Magnus would do everything to help Alec get through his traumas and become better again.

Alec seemed to calm down after a while. Magnus’s own tears had dried up on his skin. He looked down at the boy and saw the massive red stain in his gown.

“Alec, nurses need to look at your back,” he said softly.

Alec grumbled, shifted in Magnus’s arms and curled up. “Don’t wanna,” he mumbled into Magnus’s chest. He didn’t want to move. He was quite comfortable like this. He also wasn’t really feeling his back right now.

“Please,” Magnus said. “I think some of the wounds opened. They’ll need to be cleaned.” He was really worried. He had seen the state of Alec’s back when he had taken down the boy. Those wounds were going to take a very long time to heal. And it would be hurting for quite a while as well. It would probably need to be cleaned out regularly. He understood why Alec may not want to, but in order for him to recover, he had to.

“You know Catarina. She’ll be very gentle with you,” he said.

Alec sighed and slowly moved away from Magnus. “Okay,” he said, slowly getting up. He crawled back into the hospital bed.

Magnus got up as well. He opened the door and saw Catarina still waiting outside. He gave her an apologetic smile. “I think some of the wounds on his back reopened,” Magnus said, sounding worried.

Catarina nodded and stepped inside with him. She closed the door and gently approached Alec, giving him a small smile. “Hello Alec,” she said. “How are you feeling?”

“A little better,” Alec said, shifting nervously on the bed.

“Can you turn your back to me? I’ll have a look.” Catarina watched Alec as he turned his back to her. She gently opened up the gown and frowned. Some of the wounds had indeed reopened. “Are you feeling feverish? Sick?”

“No,” Alec answered honestly.

“Okay, that’s good.” She snapped her fingers and medical cleaning equipment appeared on the bed beside Alec. “I’m going to clean your back, okay? If it hurts, let me know.”

“Okay,” Alec mumbled.

Catarina was quick but careful. She did take her time with some wounds, as it seemed those bothered Alec more than the others. But he never really told her to slow down or to stop. Perhaps Alec had a high pain tolerance. It was possible. But anyone with wounds like these would be crippling over in pain. So she was quite impressed with how still he sat as she cleaned the wounds.

Once they were cleaned and once they had stopped bleeding, she gently closed the gown again. She’d give him a new gown in the morning.

“You did really good,” Catarina said, as Alec turned back to her and Magnus. “I’m really proud of you.”

Alec blushed and ducked his head. “Thank you,” he said.

“I’ll leave you two alone now. If you need anything, just push the help button okay?”

Alec nodded. Magnus and him watched her leave, and Alec visibly relaxed once she had left his room. He settled down onto the bed and looked at Magnus.

“I’m sorry for getting into this much trouble. And for worrying you.”

Magnus shook his head. “It’s not your fault. I should have dealt with him at the club.” He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. 

He knew that demanding the vampire be burned by the sun on the roof was perhaps a lot. After all, Magnus didn’t really have jurisdiction over what happened to the vampire. But he also knew that Raphael would do that for him. But it would be breaking the Accords. And Magnus was no fan of breaking them. He knew it could possibly mean having Shadowhunters on his back, even arresting him. He didn’t want that. That would be more trouble than he could afford right now.

And yet, he really wanted that vampire to suffer even more than what Magnus had already put him through. But for now, all that mattered was Alec recovering, getting better. Alec was his priority. Alec would always be his priority, no matter what.

“Magnus?” Alec asked softly.

Magnus snapped from his thoughts. He looked at Alec. “Yes?”

“Will you stay with me?” he asked. “You know, if I fall asleep and such?”

“Of course,” Magnus said and gave a soft smile. “I will always stay with you.”

Alec smiled back then, a genuine smile. He laid down and curled up onto his side. He was really glad that Magnus had rescued him. He had been so afraid that he would be never getting out of there. The things he endured weren’t exactly very light. He wasn’t sure if he was ever going to get over it. But he would do his best, for Magnus. Because Magnus had found him and rescued him, against all odds. Alec couldn’t be more grateful. He wasn’t particularly keen on finding out just what else he would have gone through if he hadn’t been rescued. All he knew was that it wouldn’t have been pretty.

But he was afraid to go to sleep. He felt really tired, and rightfully so. What Alec had gone through hadn’t been easy. And yet, going to sleep now, he was scared of the nightmares. Which he knew he would have.

He needed all the rest that he could get, though. He looked at Magnus. The warlock looked exhausted as well.

“Magnus?” 

“Yes?” Magnus looked at Alec.

“Could you hold me when I sleep?” Alec asked, looking down.

“Of course.” Magnus changed himself into a little more comfortable attire and got into bed, being gentle with Alec. He opened his arms and Alec crawled right into them and curled up into them.

Alec closed his eyes, feeling comfortable and protected. He drifted off to sleep quickly, exhaustion catching up to him.

Magnus held the boy gently and smiled. It was good to see that Alec wanted him around. He was really grateful for that. Magnus had been quite scared that Alec may not want anyone around, or anyone touching him. But it seemed okay, for now. Though Magnus would be careful anyway, to make sure he didn’t cross any boundaries.

He closed his eyes as well. Magnus hadn’t exactly slept a lot the past few days. So when he did fall asleep, he had a small smile on his lips as he gently held the boy.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER!!  
\- Nightmare in which Alec is being forced under water. It's in italics, so you can skip that part if you'd like.

A knock on the door had Magnus opening his eyes. Catarina peeked her head in, and smiled at Magnus. Magnus gave a lazy smile back as she came into the room, carrying a tray. She quietly set it down on the nightstand besides Alec’s bed. Magnus rubbed his eyes in an effort to wake up.

“How are you?” she asked softly, not wanting to wake up the boy. He was asleep now and that was good. Alec was going to need a lot of sleep to properly recover.

“Good,” Magnus said. He looked down at Alec. “Or well, better. He has a long way to go.”

Catarina nodded. “Just make sure you’re there for him. He’s going to need you.” And a therapist probably. But that could come later. She was certain Alec wouldn’t want to visit a therapist at the moment. And she didn’t want to force him into anything. Alec needed to find a way to recover on his own, that worked for him.

Magnus nodded. He had already promised himself that he would be at Alec’s side at all times. Unless Alec didn’t want him to. But he felt it was really important to be there for him, considering what the boy went through. It wasn’t going to be easy for him to recover from his injuries and traumas. But Magnus had hope that the boy would. Eventually. With lots of time and love and care.

“Raphael called me,” Catarina said. She had a worried frown on her face. Knowing of Magnus’s plans really made her anxious.

Magnus rolled his eyes and looked at her. “What, to warn you of my plans with the vampire? My mind is set on it.” He wasn’t willing to change his plans. The vampire would burn and die for the crimes he had committed.

“Magnus,” she said, looking upset. “You can get Shadowhunters on your back for that. They’d kill you. You know that.”

“They wouldn’t,” Magnus said confidently. “They need me. If they kill me, they lose a valuable ally.”

Catarina shook her head. “You’re so stubborn it is a miracle you’re even alive. And that’s thanks to me and Ragnor.”

Magnus chuckled. “Well, you two are my closest friends. It’s only right that you keep me out of trouble.”

“That’s why I’m warning you,” Catarina said. “If you let the vampire be burned by the sun, even the Shadowhunters won’t show mercy this time. And you’ll be breaking the Accords. And you know how sacred that is to them and the rest of the Downworld. Are you really willing to risk that? Risk that and not be at Alec’s side?”

Magnus knew she had a point. And yet he was still very much dead set on letting the vampire be burned by the sun. To him, it was the most fitting punishment for him. Nothing else would do. But she had a point. He didn’t want Shadowhunters bearing down on his roof and taking him away from Alec. The boy was going to need him. And if he was taken away, he wasn’t going to be able to help him. And besides, he had already had a lot of luck with Shadowhunters. But one day he was going to run out. And he didn’t want that.

“Just think about it,” Catarina said. “And get him to eat when he wakes up.” She left the room.

Magnus shifted slightly, which caused Alec to raise his head. The boy looked incredibly sleepy, and it was quite adorable. But he also looked questioning, uncertain. Magnus knew Alec had been awake through the conversation, since Alec had shifted slightly and then tensed himself to be still. 

“Hey,” Magnus said and gave him a small smile.

Alec forced himself to sit up, moving away from Magnus. “Are you really going to let him burn by the sun?” he asked.

“Perhaps,” Magnus said. “Don’t worry about it.”

“I don’t want you to do that to him,” Alec said. “He doesn’t deserve that. Just lock him up for the rest of his life.”

Magnus sighed. “Alec, even that would be too light for him. He deserves what’s coming for him.”

Alec shook his head. He moved his legs out of bed and got up. He didn’t know what to think about that. He didn’t like the vampire. But being burned by the sun to a crisp seemed awfully cruel. Not like Magnus. The warlock wasn’t that cruel. And yet, he seemed very determined. Alec wasn’t attached to the vampire. And he wanted the vampire to be punished. But not like that. Never like that. He would only feel guilty of that happened. Even though he shouldn’t.

“Alexander,” Magnus said, worried. He got out of bed as well. “What’s wrong? He hurt you in unimaginable ways.”

“I don’t want you to be taken away from me,” Alec said, turning to Magnus. “If those Shadowhunters find out about it and take you away from you, kill you…” Tears glistened in his eyes, but he refused to let them shed. He blinked and looked down. “I don’t want to lose you.”

Magnus felt his heat squeeze together. The boy looked so sad with that prospect. He hadn’t imagined Alec would ever feel that way about him. “You won’t lose me,” Magnus said, stepping towards him. “You won’t ever lose me.”

Alec looked up at Magnus. “You promise?” he asked.

“I promise.” Magnus gave a gentle smile before he was being hugged tightly. He wrapped his arms gently around the lower back of Alec and hugged him as well. “It’s going to be okay,” he said.

Alec just closed his eyes and rested his head on Magnus’s chest, listening to the warlock’s heartbeat. He wouldn’t know what to do if Magnus was taken from him. He wouldn’t be able to live then. Magnus had always been his rock ever since his parents had abandoned him. Imagining a life without the warlock in it felt nothing short of torture. He just couldn’t.

“It’s going to be okay,” Magnus repeated, pressing a gentle kiss onto Alec’s head. “But you need to focus on your recovery first.”

Alec swallowed, taking a step back and looking at Magnus. “Do you think my back will ever… you know, look normal again?” he asked.

Magnus shook his head. “It likely won’t,” he said. “There’ll be a lot of scar tissue. You may even lose some feeling there.”

Alec looked down. He sighed. It’s not that he cared that much about his back, but knowing it was never going to be normal again… He wondered if he was ever going to look okay again. He doubted it. Which made him doubt why Magnus even cared about him.

“Hey,” Magnus said gently, taking Alec’s chin between his fingers and raising his head. “Stop doubting yourself.”

Alec’s lip trembled. He sunk his teeth down into it. “I don’t know,” he whispered. “I…”

“Shhh,” Magnus said, pulling him back against him. “I know,” he said. “But I promise. Okay?”

“Okay,” Alec whispered. He closed his eyes.

“Now you need to eat,” Magnus said. “To keep up your strength.”

“I’m not hungry,” Alec lied. He didn’t know if he could eat anything. The thought of eating food made him nauseous.

“I’m sure you’re hungry,” Magnus said. “I doubt you’ve eaten much.” 

“I don’t know,” Alec said, looking down.

“At least try to eat something,” Magnus said.

Alec sighed and nodded. He hoisted himself onto the bed and crossed his legs. He removed the bowl on top of his plate. There was a bowl of soup underneath. Pasta and sauce as well. His stomach growled. It smelled delicious, but he hesitated anyway.

He spooned some soup into his mouth. He closed his eyes, feeling his stomach twist. But it calmed down, so he spooned some more soup into his mouth. Slowly but surely he managed to finish his bowl of soup. But the moment he looked at the paste, he became nauseous again.

“I’m done,” he said.

Magnus nodded and smiled proudly at him. “You did good,” he said.

Alec blushed and ducked his head. He laid down, feeling tired now. “I’m going to get some sleep,” he mumbled, already half asleep.

Magnus chuckled and watched the boy fall asleep. For now Alec seemed to be doing okay. But he knew that there was quite some strain on the boy. They had a long road ahead of them.

And Magnus knew he needed to be there for him. He pulled out his phone and quietly left the hospital room to stand outside. He dialled Raphael’s number.

“Magnus,” Raphael answered.

“I changed my mind,” Magnus said. “Just keep him locked up for now. Don’t let him escape. But that’s all.”

“Good,” Raphael said. “Who talked some sense into you, Catarina?”

Magnus rolled his eyes. “Bye,” he said before hanging up.

He opened the door and walked back into the room. He quietly closed the door and sat down into the chair. Alec was still asleep, and he was grateful for it. The boy would need a lot of sleep to get his strength back.

Luckily they had all the time in the world.

Magnus eventually drifted off to sleep as well.

_Alec was drowning, head being forced under water. He struggled against the vampire, tried to get up and breathe. But he couldn’t. He was too weak. Too injured. His back was hurting really bad. All he wanted to do was to sleep it all away. Perhaps never even wake up again. No one was going to come for him anyway. He knew he was going to be stuck here._

_Air was running out. He fought harder, feeling faint. Finally he was let up and he gasped, trying to breathe in as much air as he could._

_“What’s wrong, slave? Can’t breathe?” The vampire laughed._

_“Please stop this,” Alec begged. “Please!” He coughed. His world was spinning._

_The vampire chuckled and forced his head back under water, letting the boy fight for a bit before letting him up again. _

_Alec was panting. He coughed, lungs burning from the effort to breathe. Tears mixed with the water coming from his hair. “Please stop,” he begged._

_“Why?” the vampire asked. “I’m having quite a bit of fun. I could whip you, again. Would you rather have that instead? Or maybe I’ll die you to the fucking bench with a fucking machine.”_

_Alec shook his head, body going limp. “Please,” he croaked._

_“Pathetic,” the vampire said, forcing his head back under water._

_Alec gave up fighting. He tried to breathe, but all he got was air in his lungs. His vision tinted black. Then he was let up once more and he went into a coughing fit. The vampire let him go and Alec curled up while breathing harshly. He started sobbing._

_He just wanted it to end. His suffering, the pain, the torture. All of it. And yet he knew this was going to go on for as long as he lived. And every moment of it was simply too long. He wasn’t sure if he could do this._

_“Get up,” the vampire ordered._

_Alec didn’t know. Moving would be too painful. He didn’t want to move. A kick to his stomach had him crying out, before scrambling up onto his knees. A hand in his head had him to his feet as he tried to keep up with the vampire. And then he was forced back onto his knees and bend over the fucking bench as the vampire called it. Alec shook his head, trying to struggle free but the vampire already had him tied down within seconds._

_“Don’t,” he sobbed. “Don’t, please, don’t do this. Stop this please I beg you!”_

Magnus groaned as he woke up from someone sobbing. He cracked open an eye and saw Alec curled up on the bed, fisting the sheets and sobbing. He immediately got up and laid a gentle hand on the boy’s shoulder.

“Hey, Alec, wake up,” Magnus said, gently shaking Alec. “It’s just a dream, you’re okay now.”

Alec woke with a start, body forcing itself into a seated position. He looked around wild-eyed, frantic. Then his eyes settled onto Magnus.

“It’s okay,” Magnus said softly. “You’re safe now. It’s going to be okay.” He reached out, but pulled his hand back the moment Alec flinched.

Alec shook his head, pulling his knees up to his chest. He looked away, trying not to let anymore tears slip.

“Alexander,” Magnus said, worried. He looked at the boy, saw how withdrawn he was. “What’s wrong? You can tell me.”

Alec bit down on his lip and looked at Magnus. “I don’t want to talk about it,” he whispered. He closed his eyes and shivered. He felt cold but also the memories were so fresh. He wished he could forget them just like that. But he couldn’t. And he knew that. He also knew that it was going to take time. A lot of time for him to move on from what had happened to him. But he didn’t want to wait. Didn’t want to have more nightmares.

“I don’t know what happened to you,” Magnus said softly. “And I know you don’t want to talk about it. But you’ll have to, eventually. And that’s going to be hard, but it will help you move on from what has happened.” 

Alec shook his head. He looked back at Magnus. “Talking about it hurts,” he said. “Makes me remember all of it. I don’t ever want to remember it.”

Magnus swallowed. He wished he could just take those memories away, but the spell was dangerous. Besides, it was forbidden magic as well. Darker magic. It would go against the Accords. “I know,” he said softly. He wasn’t sure what else to say or do.

Alec closed his eyes. “It hurt,” he whispered. “The first time he…” He swallowed, not being able to say the word. “He wasn’t kind of gentle. He hurt me. And he didn’t care. He just laughed.”

Magnus clenched his fists. How he wished he could go to the vampire right now and just hurt him. That was all that the vampire deserved, anyway. The vampire deserved to die. And Magnus would see to it that it was going to happen.

Alec sniffled. “I quickly figured out that he liked hurting me. That whenever I cried and begged him to stop, he would enjoy it that much more. I tried not to. I tried to be brave, strong. But I couldn’t. it just hurt too much. I can still feel his hands roaming my skin, hurting me. I can feel him everywhere he touched. Whenever I think too much about it, I get nauseous.”

“It’s going to go away-“ Magnus started.

“Yeah yeah,” Alec cut in. “But it’s going to take time, bla bla.” He looked at Magnus, not trying to be angry at him because he knew Magnus was only trying to help. But it was frustrating being so traumatised and feeling that vampire even when he was safe now. He hated the feeling. He wanted it gone. But it was going to take time and that was something that Alec didn’t have. He didn’t want it to take time. He wanted it gone right now.

Magnus sighed. “I know you’re frustrated,” he said. “And I know you want it gone, like right now. But these things are never really gone. Even spellwork can’t fix it. It will come back at some point and then you’ll have to deal with it all over again.” He wondered what else he could say to Alec. But he felt there wasn’t really anything to say. Because Alec knew that. Alec knew that even spellwork was not going to fix the situation. That he would have to deal with it on his own, and take his time, no matter how hard that may be.

Alec looked away and closed his eyes. “I know,” he said softly. “It just… it sucks. That’s all.” He opened his eyes and looked towards the window, only now just seeing that it was dark outside. He wondered what time it was. Probably rather late.

“You should go back to sleep,” Magnus said, looking at Alec. “You’re going to need a lot of rest in order to heal.”

“I don’t wanna,” Alec said, sounding quite childish. He was afraid of the nightmares. Whenever he closed his eyes, he could see the vampire grinning at him. It was as if the vampire was simply waiting for him. Waiting for the right opportunity to grab him and torture him all over again. Even if he knew he was safe. His mind remembered all of it. And it would play into his nightmares.

“Do you want me to hold you?” Magnus asked.

Alec nodded. “Yes, please. I’ll feel safer that way.” He gave a small smile.

Magnus nodded. As Alec scooted aside, he climbed into bed and opened his arms. Alec snuggled into his arms and Magnus gently wrapped his arms around him. He held the boy, being careful of his back. “No matter what, Alexander, I love you.”

Alec looked up at Magnus. “I love you too,” he said. He rested his head on Magnus’s chest and closed his eyes. “Thank you for saving me. And loving me. And always being there for me. Really, thank you.”

“No need to thank me,” Magnus said with a small smile. “Now go to sleep,” he whispered.

Alec was fast asleep, only taking a few minutes to fall asleep. Magnus held him and listened to his breathing, a reassurance that the boy was alive and here with him. Even he feared that he may wake up at any moment to this being a dream. That Alec wasn’t safe. That they hadn’t found him. But holding him, and hearing him breathe gently, and feeling his warmth were all the signs he needed to be reassured. Alec was here with him. Alec was safe. Alec would never be touched again by anyone but him.

Magnus had a small smile as he closed his eyes and slowly found himself being surrounded by a peaceful darkness. He fell asleep slowly but surely, holding Alec gently against him to protect him from any nasty nightmares he may have.


	15. Chapter 15

Alec spent the next few days mostly asleep. Magnus had to hold him whenever he did, so he didn’t have nightmares. Magnus obviously didn’t mind; he was more than glad to hold the boy as he slept. He was grateful that Alec allowed it, even. Considering his traumas.

The healing sessions were helping, but Alec’s back continued to heal only slowly. Magnus was really worried about it. Catarina and he put a lot of magic into healing his back. The fact that it was going this slow was not a good sign to him. Catarina told him not too worry too much, that these kinds of wounds simply took a lot of time. Even with healing spells.

But still. Every time Magnus looked at the boy’s back, he felt anger rise up inside him. He had regular contact with Raphael, who kept him updated on the vampire. The vampire hadn’t tried to escape, and hadn’t talked either. He was being kept alive. And that was it, mostly.

Magnus could also see that Alec really didn’t want to be here. He could understand, he didn’t like hospitals either. But Alec needed the care.

And yet, as they stayed here more, Alec became more withdrawn, more quiet. Magnus was really becoming worried about that as well. He had already offered to call up a therapist but Alec had refused, saying he didn’t want to talk about the things that he had been through. Even if it was vital to his recovery. He didn’t really seemed to want help. Even the healing sessions he cringed away from. He only allowed those because Magnus pleaded with him.

And now as well. Alec was laying on his stomach on the hospital bed, just staring off into the distance.

“Alexander,” Magnus said.

“Yeah,” Alec responded.

“Are you okay?” Magnus asked.

Alec shrugged. “I guess.” 

Magnus frowned. “You can talk to me. I know things are bothering you and you really ought to talk about it. Because it will help you better than bottling it all up.”

Alec groaned and sat up. He looked at Magnus for a few seconds, before looking down. “I just want to be left alone,” he said. “There’s nothing to talk about.”

“But there is,” Magnus said, a desperate tinge to his voice. “What you’ve been through hasn’t been easy. And in order for you to deal with it well, talking about it is important.”

Alec shoved his legs out of bed. “I don’t want to talk about it!” He stood up and started pacing the room. “Why are you pressuring me?”

“Because I’m worried about you,” Magnus answered, watching the boy with sad eyes. “I’m really worried. I know you don’t want to be here. I know things are bothering you. I can see it.”

Alec felt the tears burn at the back of his throat. He swallowed, trying to remain calm. He didn’t want to cry. He hated crying. And yet, whenever he was confronted by Magnus he couldn’t help it. He knew Magnus was right. He knew the warlock was worried about him. But he simply refused to talk about what happened. He didn’t want to relive his worst nightmare again and again by talking about it. It was bad enough that it happened. It was bad enough that he could still feel hands roaming his skin. All of that was bad enough and he hated it. It made him nauseous. Made him want to rip off his own skin.

He shook his head and closed his eyes. “You don’t understand,” he whispered, broken. Tears now slipped down his face. “Talking about it only makes me relive it. I don’t… It’s bad enough that I can feel his hands roam my skin, that I can feel him hurting me still. Talking about it…” He sobbed, covering his face with his hands as he stood there.

Magnus felt powerless. Watching Alec struggle as much as he did hurt. And he wished so badly he could take it all away. And in part he could. But he refused to mingle with such dark magic. Magnus had always prided himself on being honest and true, kind and caring. And not use dark magic. Especially not after having spent some time with Asmodeus when he was still young.

“I want that feeling to go away,” Alec said, opening his eyes and looking at Magnus. “I need it gone. I don’t… I can’t keep feeling him.”

Magnus took a step closer and gently pulled him into a hug. “I know I know,” he said, letting the boy sob against him. “We’ll figure it out, together.”

“It’s never going to go away,” Alec sobbed against Magnus. “I’m ruined, forever.”

“Shhh,” Magnus said, trying to soothe him. “You’re not ruined, forever. It will go away. I promise. It just takes some time.”

Alec shook his head. As long as he felt it he would never believe it. Perhaps if it did fade, in time, he may believe it. But as long as he could still feel hands roaming his skin he felt like he was always going to be disgusting.

Magnus felt so entirely hopeless as he tried to calm down the sobbing boy. He heard the door open and saw Catarina’s head pop in. He gestured for her to come in, she was carrying a tray with food. She set it down and raised a questioning eyebrow.

He shook his head.

Alec suddenly turned around and looked at Catarina. He swallowed, quickly wiping his eyes and forcing himself to calm down. His face flushed in embarrassment. He looked down, climbing onto the bed.

Catarina gave Magnus a worried smile, before leaving. Alec started sniffling again once she had left.

“You need to eat,” Magnus said softly.

“Don’t wanna,” Alec mumbled. He curled up onto the bed. He wasn’t hungry. He didn’t feel well. He just wanted to go home.

Magnus sighed. “Alexander,” he said. “In order for your injuries to heal properly, you really need to eat. It’ll keep up your strength. You’ve been losing weight, I can see it.”

Alec sighed, getting frustrated. He got up from the bed again and started pacing once more. “Why can’t you just leave me alone,” he said. He threw open the door and left the room.

Magnus went after him, but he was already gone by the time he reached the doorway. He frowned. This wasn’t good. Alec needed a lot of supervision, a lot of care. And him being gone, Magnus not knowing where he was, made him anxious. And he didn’t have anything to track him either.

Hours passed. He had warned Catarina as well, and she had warned hospital staff. But no one had been able to find Alec. Magnus was overcome with worry, terrified that something had happened to him.

Evening fell. Magnus was staring out the hospital window, arms crossed over his chest. He didn’t know what to do, how to function. He wasn’t ready to lose Alec, not again. Having him gone for several days was the worst. And now he was nowhere to be found either. And both times it had been his own fault.

Magnus hadn’t meant to push him away. He was just really worried. But perhaps he needed to slow down, give Alec time. After all, he needed to recover from the injuries first. Mentally, that was going to take a whole lot more time. And that kind of sucked. He understood where Alec was coming from a little. He couldn’t imagine having anyone’s touch lingering on his skin while that person wasn’t there. It was something he hoped never to experience. And seeing Alec struggle with it, with himself, hurt.

“Magnus?” Catarina asked, opening the door. “We found him.”

He turned around and looked at Catarina. “Where is he? Is he okay?”

“He’s hiding away in a storage closet,” Catarina said with a small smile. “He seems okay. But he doesn’t want to come out. Says you two had a fight.”

Magnus sighed. “Can you show me to him?”

“Of course,” she said, leading the way. “So, did you two have a fight?”

“Not exactly,” Magnus said. “I’ve been trying to get him to talk and to eat. But he refuses, mostly. And it worries me.”

Catarina nodded. “It’s going to take a lot of time, Magnus. What Alec has been through is not easy, on anyone. But for him especially. And you know that.”

“I know,” Magnus said. “I just… I want him to eat and heal. I want him to get better.”

“We all do,” Catarina said and looked at Magnus. “But pressuring him isn’t going to help. Let him talk when he wants to.”

“Okay,” Magnus said. Of course he knew Catarina was speaking the truth. He knew he needed to give Alec time and space. But seeing the boy refuse food really had him worried. Alec had lost weight the past few days and that wasn’t a good sign to him. He needed to eat to keep his strength up, to recover properly.

Catarina stopped in front of a door and looked at her friend. “Just be kind and gentle to him. He’s young. He’s traumatised. He needs a lot of love and calm and patience.”

“Thank you,” Magnus said, slowly opening the door. He stepped inside and closed the door behind him. Alec was seated in the back, knees pulled up to his chest and arms wrapped about them. He approached slowly. “Hey Alexander.”

Alec looked at Magnus. “Hey,” he said, looking away. He rested his chin on his knees and stared ahead quietly.

Magnus sat down in front of him. “I’m sorry,” he said. “Really. I shouldn’t be pushing you that much.”

Alec shrugged, didn’t look at Alec. “It’s fine,” he mumbled.

“It’s not,” Magnus said. He sighed and looked at Alec. “Please come back with me. I’ll stop pushing.” 

Alec blinked and looked at Magnus. “I need you to help me,” he said.

This caught Magnus off guard. He looked at Alec, not knowing what he meant. “How?” he asked.

Alec moved onto his knees and inched closer to Magnus. He looked at the warlock, then leaned in and kissed him.

Magnus was taken aback by the kiss. He pulled back, looking at Alec with wide eyes. “Alexander,” he said, not even really knowing what to say at all. “What…”

“Please kiss me,” Alec said, sounding quite desperate. “Help me get rid of this feeling, Magnus. Please.”

Magnus frowned. “Alec,” he said. “I… I don’t think this is the way to do it. You’ll regret this.”

Alec shook his head, shuffling away from Magnus. “You don’t like me anymore,” he whispered. “You don’t want me anymore. I knew it. I’m too disgusting,” he said and sniffled, tears rolling down his face.

“No,” Magnus said quickly. “That’s not what I meant, Alexander. I’m just worried that you’ll come to regret your decision.”

“I won’t,” Alec said, looking at Magnus. “I just need to feel someone else, not him. Please.” He hiccupped. “Please.”

Magnus swallowed but shook his head. “I can’t. I can’t do this and have you regret this in the morning.” He stood up and offered his hand. “Let’s just go back to the room, okay? We’ll figure it out.”

Alec turned his back to Magnus and stayed seated where he was. He remained silent. He closed his eyes. He didn’t understand why Magnus was so scared about that. But it didn’t matter. If Magnus didn’t want it, that was fine. He would just continue to suffer on. He supposed he wasn’t going to be happy again. Ever since his parents abandoned him, happiness was never going to be something for him.

Perhaps it was selfish to even try to be happy. He should just stop it. Bottle up and lock away all emotions that he felt and become a shell. At least that way he wasn’t going to get hurt ever again. Physical pain he could bare. Emotional pain he didn’t want to feel. Never again.

“Alexander,” Magnus said, looking at the boy. “Come on,” he said. “You need to go back to bed. Get some rest.”

Alec sighed, exasperated. He slowly got up and looked at Magnus. “Fine,” he said, walking past the warlock and opening the door. He tucked his hands into his sweatpants and started walking back to the hospital room.

Magnus followed him, but at a distance. Alec seemed so indifferent. Magnus wasn’t sure how to respond to that. He had never imagined that he may have so much trouble with the boy. And although he loved Alec, this wasn’t what he had expected. Of course, people could always act different after traumatic events. But this seemed so unusual for him. It had taken so much to have the boy open up to him. And now he seemed to be shutting down again. And that was not what he wanted.

Back at the room, Alec laid down onto the bed and curled up. He closed his eyes and willed himself to fall asleep, even if he couldn’t. He could at least pretend he was asleep. He didn’t ask Magnus to hold him this time. He didn’t feel like it. Didn’t want it.

Magnus sunk down into the chair at Alec’s bedside and closed his eyes. He felt strangely exhausted, even if he really hadn’t done anything that day. Or the past few days anyway. Though emotionally the past few days had been taxing. For Alec. For himself. It hadn’t been easy. And his magic was drained a bit too, from using so much to help heal Alec’s wounds.

They both needed a good night’s sleep. But Magnus was still so worried about it Alec. He was afraid that Alec was never going to open up to him again. And that might be disastrous for both of them.

He sighed and started to doze off slowly.

Alec opened his eyes and looked at Magnus, seeing that the warlock was asleep. He moved into a seated position and took in the details of Magnus’s face. The warlock had dark circles under his eyes. Alec knew he hadn’t been sleeping so well. And the past few days had been tough on them. He looked a little older in his face than he usually did. He smiled slightly.

No matter how much he wanted to shut down his emotions, he loved Magnus. And he knew that he could never avoid that. Even if he really tried. And Magnus didn’t deserve such harsh treatment. After all, he was simply worried. And Alec could actually really appreciate that. Even if he had been so cold.

The boy sighed and slowly got out of bed. His back was hurting quite bad. But then that was understandable. He slowly climbed into Magnus’s lap and wrapped his arms around the warlock. He closed his eyes and rested his head on Magnus’s chest. He promised to himself that he would be kinder to Magnus from now on. Because Magnus didn’t deserve the cold treatment that Alec had given him.

He felt his consciousness waning. He felt tired. Slowly, Alec fell asleep.

Magnus woke up a little later to find Alec in his lap. He looked down at the boy and smiled gently. He was glad that Alec had crawled into his lap and seemed to accept him still. Carefully, he picked up the boy and laid him in bed. He joined Alec in bed and let the sleepy boy cuddle up to him again.

“I’m sorry,” Alec mumbled.

“It’s okay,” Magnus said, kissing the top of his head. “Go back to sleep.”

Alec nodded and quickly fell asleep again. Magnus smiled, holding the boy gently. He closed his eyes and tried to fall asleep as well, but found himself unable to, and not necessarily due to unpleasurable circumstances. He shifted a little so he could lay down better and hold Alec better. He felt grateful for these little moments, where they could just be together without being ruled by whatever was playing at the moment. For Alec his traumas. For him his doubts about opening up his heart again to someone. It had been so long since he had last opened up his heart to someone. So doing that now would be difficult, but worth it.

Alec deserved all of him, not the closed off version he showed to anyone else. Especially since Alec was slowly opening up to him as well. Even if, perhaps, they had had a setback. They would figure it out. Together. And together, they would be happy again. Magnus just knew it. He could feel it. It would take time and he was fine with that. Because in the end, this was going to make them stronger. Love each other even more.

Slowly, Magnus became tired again. He looked down at the sleeping beauty and smiled. Alec was such a strong person, even if Alec didn’t realise it. The fact that he had survived such torture and was still here, still willing to try, showed him just how strong Alec was. And he was grateful for that.

Darkness consumed him slowly as he fell asleep. His eyes drooped shut and his hold on Alec tightened slightly to make sure that he stayed where he was. And so Magnus fell asleep as well, holding Alec against him and protecting him from everything wrong in this world.


	16. Chapter 16

Something was different as Alec started to wake up. Something hard was poking in his back, and as he shifted around to get more comfortable, he quickly figured out what it was. This had him sitting up and turning around to look at Magnus. The warlock was asleep. Alec reached out and placed his hand slowly over Magnus’s hardon. He rubbed, carefully watching Magnus as he did.

The warlock moaned in his sleep and pressed his hips forward into Alec’s hand. This had Alec smiling as he applied more pressure while rubbing. He knew he shouldn’t do this. He knew he might set himself up for trouble. But it was something about Magnus having a hardon and responding to him that made him feel powerful somehow. However, he could hear the vampire whispering dirty things to him.

_”You’re such a dirty slut.”_

_”I bet you enjoy this. You’re even getting turned on.”_

_”You need to be fucked, don’t you? Like the little slut that you are. You need to submit, you know it.”_

Alec swallowed, closing his eyes. He could feel the vampire’s hands on him, roaming his skin. Strangely enough, he was hard as well. His other hand went to his own clothed erection and he rubbed against it, but he kept himself quiet. He didn’t want to wake up Magnus. He was afraid to disappoint, he always had been. But waking up to find Magnus hard did something to him. Alec wondered of the warlock was dreaming of him. He surely hoped so. And in that perspective, he really wanted to feel Magnus. Perhaps then the unwelcome hands would finally leave him alone.

But he was also afraid. The thought of having sex terrified him to no end. It had hurt, the first time he’d been fucked. Raped, he should say. Because he hadn’t consented. He hadn’t wanted it. And yet, the thought of it turned him on. He didn’t know why. It grossed him out. He shouldn’t be turned on by the thought of having his consent taken away. He was certain normal people wouldn’t get turned on by that. Only twisted freaks.

It seemed that he was one.

_”Yeah, you’re a dirty little freak. You like being fucked against your will, you know it. You’re just too scared to admit it. Submit to it.”_

Alec shuddered as he continued rubbing them both. He opened his eyes and looked at Magnus again, taking in the features of the warlock. Magnus was truly stunning and Alec wondered why someone so gorgeous would love someone as disgusting as him. Alec wasn’t attractive at all. All he was good for was being a good sub. As the vampire had taught him that.

Magnus stirred, eyes fluttering. A clear sign he was waking up. He finally managed to open his eyes and pushed himself up on his elbows. Then he looked down at himself. He saw Alec’s hand on his crotch, Alec’s other hand on the boy’s own crotch, rubbing.

He stumbled out of bed immediately, getting away. His face flushed in embarrassment. He knew he had had a wet dream. He didn’t have them often and he didn’t know why he had them now. But to see Alec actually rubbing him like that, after the traumas the boy had been through, no. He wouldn’t allow it. Alec needed to heal first.

“What’s wrong?” Alec asked, getting out of bed. “Am I not being good?” He swallowed at that thought. He needed to be good for Magnus. Magnus was all he had, all he knew. He couldn’t lose the warlock by being bad. Alec sunk to his knees and put his arms behind his back. He tucked in his chin. “I’m sorry if I was bad. Please tell me how to be good.”

Magnus turned around and stared down at Alec in bewilderment. “Alexander,” he said, not certain what to do. “Please get up.”

Alec scrambled to his feet immediately. “I’m really sorry for being bad.” 

“Stop it,” Magnus said. Something stirred in the depths of his gut. This was actually turning him on. Seeing Alec as submissive as he was was doing things to him. And he hated it. This was not the moment to be turned on. He shook his head. “You’re fine. Just quit doing that.”

Alec stepped in closer and reached for Magnus, pushing his hand into the waistband of the warlock’s pants. He grabbed hold of Magnus’s dick. “Let me help you,” he said.

Magnus grabbed Alec’s wrist but couldn’t pull him away. “Alexander, you need to heal first,” he said. “We can’t.”

“But we can,” Alec said, looking up at Magnus. “I know you’re afraid that I’m going to regret it, but I won’t,” he said. “I promise.” He kissed Magnus.

Magnus’s eyes fluttered shut. He felt so conflicted. Alec wanted this, and yet he was so afraid that Alec would come to regret it. And yet he couldn’t help but give in. With a snap of his fingers the curtains were shut and the door was locked so no one could disturb them. “Tell me if I have to stop,” Magnus said as he pulled back.

Alec nodded immediately, pulling his hand out of Magnus’s pants. 

Magnus looked at the boy and licked his lips. He looked wrecked and ready but he knew he had to be careful. They would still need to watch his back. And Magnus would still need to watch all the signs for discomfort. Because on one hand he was quite certain that Alec wouldn’t tell him to stop at all. He kissed him again, this time undoing the tie at the back of Alec’s neck and letting the gown fall to the ground.

Alec in turn shoved Magnus’s pants and underwear down, which Magnus kicked off. Alec sunk to his knees and immediately wrapped his lips around Magnus’s cock. He closed his eyes as he sucked on the tip, tongue rolling around the underside to the upperside and over the slit.

Magnus moaned, hand gently resting on Alec’s head. A shiver ran down his spine as Alec sucked him off. He wondered when the boy became this good, but didn’t want to think about that in particular.

Magnus pulled him up and kissed him, tasting himself on Alec’s tongue. He gently pushed the boy towards the bed. He knew Alec couldn’t really lay on his back.

Alec felt the back of his knees hit the hospital bed. He climbed onto it and rolled onto his back, looking at Magnus through lidded eyes. He was panting slightly, impossibly turned on. Even as the vampire’s presence was there. He shoved his pants off and threw them aside, now laying naked on the bed in front of Magnus.

The warlock took in Alec’s body. He was gorgeous, absolutely stunning. He smiled, pulling off his shirt and climbing onto the bed. He straddled the boy’s hips and bent down to kiss him.

Alec reached up and kissed him back, trying to shut out the vampire’s words, his hands on his skin. He focused on Magnus instead.

Magnus trailed feather light kisses down the boy’s chest. But he could feel how tense the boy was. He pulled back and looked down at Alec, there was a deep frown on his face. “Alexander?” 

Alec opened his eyes and looked at Magnus. “Yes?”

“Are you okay? Do you want me to stop?” Magnus asked, worried. He didn’t want to make the boy uncomfortable.

Alec quickly shook his head. “No, please continue,” he said, desperate. “Please.”

Magnus swallowed. “You’re uncomfortable,” he noted. “And tense.”

Alec pulled Magnus down into a kiss. “I’m fine,” he said, not wanting to stop now. He needed to drown out the vampire, feeling Magnus instead. “Please,” he begged.

“Okay,” Magnus said, giving in.  
\-----   
Alec was asleep, curled up on the bed. The mess they had made was cleaned up thanks to his magic. Magnus snapped his fingers and Alec was dressed. He snapped his fingers again so he was dressed himself. He unlocked the door and sat down in the chair at Alec’s bed. 

He sighed, pulling his fingers through his hair. He stood up and took his phone, tucking it into the pocket of his pants. He quietly left the hospital room.

Dodging nurses and guests and patients, he quickly found himself outside and headed for the Hotel where the vampires resided. It was time for the vampire that had hurt Alec to receive his punishment. And he didn’t care of Raphael wanted it or not. He would let it happen.

The sun burned bright above him as he took long strides, putting pace into his steps. He arrived at the hotel quickly and forced the door open, stepping inside.

Raphael was right there, together with another vampire, discussing something. Magnus knew he was unannounced but he didn’t care. 

“Magnus,” Raphael said, surprised. He was glad when the door shut behind Magnus, not very fond of the sunlight. “What are you doing here?”

“I’ve come to retrieve the vampire,” Magnus said, striding past them easily and finding his way to the vampire. He opened the door.

“What are you going to do?” Raphael asked, following the warlock. He grabbed Magnus’s wrist. “You’re not planning on breaking the Accords, are you?”

Magnus pulled his hand away and looked at Raphael. “I needs to be punished and he will, right now. So yeah, I will toss him outside and watch him burn, because that is what he deserves.”

“You can’t,” Raphael said. “You have no power here. Leave.”

Magnus laughed and strode into the room, untying the vampire. The man looked rather terrified and Magnus chuckled. He dragged the vampire through the hotel hallways. Whenever a vampire got in his way he simple slammed them into the walls with his magic. He was smart though, and moved through the hotel to one of the backdoors. There, he stopped and looked down at the vampire.

“You’re going to die now,” he said. “Because that’s what you deserve. To be burned alive and die. What you did to Alec…” He shook his head.

“Magnus!” Raphael called out. “Damnit, whatever happened with Alec, you’ve got to stop. You can’t do this.”

“I can,” Magnus said, blowing open the door with his magic. He tossed the vampire outside and watched him burn, heard his screams. He turned to Raphael as he shut the door. “There, problem solved.”

Raphael pinched the bridge of his nose and shook his head. “Damnit, Magnus. If Shadowhunters come down on u-“

“They won’t,” Magnus said and rolled his eyes. “He needed to die. He didn’t deserve to live any longer.”

“But breaking the Accords!” Raphael didn’t understand. Magnus had never been like this. The warlock had always been the one for peaceful solutions, always supportive of the Accords. But that seemed to not matter right now. And it worried him. Raphael looked at his old friend. He remembered when he had just turned and Magnus had come to his rescue to bring him back to his family, only to find out he was a vampire. Magnus had taught him everything. But this wasn’t the Magnus that he knew.

“Don’t be so overly dramatic. You were never a fan of the Accords and you’ve broken those many times yourself.” Magnus crossed his arms over his chest. “If you get trouble, just refer them to me and I’ll solve it.” He shrugged.

Raphael clenched his fists but nodded. “Please leave,” he said through gritted teeth.

Magnus opened the door and left indeed, shutting the door behind him. He looked down at the pile of ash before he started walking away from it, from the hotel. What was done was done. He felt quite a bit better now as well. He wasn’t going to tell Alec though. Not for a little while.

Once back at the hospital he quickly found Catarina. He took her side for a moment. “I need you to discharge Alec. I want to take him home, where he can recover better.”

“Are you sure?” Catarina asked, worried. “He’s still got a lot of healing to do, Magnus. It’s a lot wiser to at least keep him here for a few more days.”

“But he doesn’t want to be here,” Magnus said with a sigh. “He’s not going to recover here any better as he is at my loft. You can come and check up on him whenever you’d like.” 

Catarina sighed and nodded. “Okay,” she agreed. “I’ll go get them fixed. Give me an hour or so.”

Magnus nodded and smiled at her. He left and went to the hospital room where Alec stayed at. He quietly opened the door and peeked his head in. Alec was luckily still asleep, he was grateful for that. He stepped inside, closed the door and sat down in the chair at Alec’s bedside again. The boy looked quite peaceful for once.

He waited patiently for the discharge papers. He was eager to get Alec back home to his loft. He was certain Alec would have a better chance of recovering there because it was familiar to him. And Magnus just wanted to go home again. He really hated hospitals. He didn’t want to be here any longer.

Finally, Catarina opened the door. Magnus got up and gently shook Alec. “Alexander, wake up,” he said gently.

Alec groaned and opened his eyes. He sat up and looked at Magnus. “What’s happening?” he asked.

“You’re going home,” Magnus said and smiled at him.

“I have the discharge papers here,” Catarina said. “Magnus, if you’ll sign them, he’s free to go.”

Magnus sighed the papers and nodded. He looked at Alec. “Are you ready to go home?”

Alec nodded, eager to get out of the hospital. He got out of bed and stretched before turning to Catarina. “Thank you,” he said and smiled at her.

Catarina smiled at him. “Make sure to take it easy, rest a lot and eat well, okay?” she said.

Alec nodded.

Magnus smiled and took Alec’s hand, leading him out of the hospital room. Once they were outside, he conjured up a portal and walked through it together with Alec. They appeared in his loft.

Alec looked around and smiled. He was glad to be back home again. This was familiar to him. He turned to Magnus. “I love you,” he said.

Magnus smiled. “I love you too,” he said. “Welcome home.”

“Thank you,” Alec said and giggled. He sat down on the couch and sighed, feeling a lot better now that he was back home. But there was still something nagging at his mind. The vampire was always there, lurking, giving unwanted comments. Even after this morning. He could still feel the vampire’s hands on him.

“What’s wrong?” Magnus asked, worried. He looked at Alec. It was clear that something was still bothering him.

“I just… I can still feel his hands all over me,” Alec admitted, looking down. He sighed, he really had hoped that that feeling would have gone away. To still feel it made him feel nauseous. 

“I’m sorry,” Magnus said. “But it will go away, eventually.”

“I know,” Alec mumbled. He just didn’t feel like waiting that long for it to go away. He wanted it gone now, but he knew he was just going to have to deal with it, no matter how much it hurt. He sighed, it made him wonder if he was ever going to be okay. He doubted it sometimes.

“Shhh,” Magnus said, bending down and hugging him gently. 

Alec hadn’t even noticed that he had been crying, but now he clung to Magnus, sobbing into his chest. He let it out, let it go.

“It’s going to be alright,” Magnus assured him. “I promise.”

Alec slowly calmed down and nodded.

That evening they ate dinner together before Alec was put to bed. He had fallen asleep rather quickly, tired.

Magnus watched over the boy as he slept. He knew they still had a long way to go, but he felt a little more confident now that it was going to be okay. He left for the couch and laid down. Today had been rather exhausting. He too fell asleep quickly.


End file.
